I have recently purchased a used vehicle from a major car company dealership. The first few days go by uneventfully until I get a light on my dash. I take it back in, get a loaner in the meantime, and go home.

A while passes, and I get a call from the dealership’s maintenance department, informing me that the engine light indicated the car needed an update of sorts, so after they ran it, the light was gone. They then tell me that I need to do several maintenance repairs and upkeep, involving flushes and a replacement of something else, totalling well over $1,000.

I then realize that the maintenance team was not instructed that this was a car they had just sold, and they did a good, thorough inspection of the vehicle. Thank goodness that light popped on!

I explain the situation, that I had literally just bought this car several days ago, and that I shouldn’t have to pay for any repairs or maintenance, as that should have been done prior to the purchase.

The person on the phone tells me they will look into it, and a day passes. I then hear back from the person who sold me my car; they bought the car from a different dealership, and they are basically arguing between the two dealerships about who should have to pay for the repairs and maintenance. 

I am with that loaner car for a week while they sort everything out. I just want to drive my new car! I am not impressed.

I work for a computer and telecommunications company in downtown Toronto as a records manager. Although we do have electronic records, we keep paper copies for legal purposes.

A pipe bursts on the twelfth floor of the building and causes a considerable amount of water damage to offices on the floors below. None of the paper records are damaged, but it will take over five months before repairs to the damaged offices are completed. During that time, my coworkers and I are displaced and relocated to our branch office in the west end of the city.

Only two days after the “flood,” I receive this phone call.

Me: “[My Name], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Thank God you answered your phone! I left you a voicemail yesterday and you didn’t respond!”

Me: “I’m sorry about that. I only just got settled in at my new desk, and I didn’t have a phone until late afternoon.”

Caller: “I need to borrow the [Vendor] file.”

Me: “Okay, I can send you an electronic copy.”

Caller: “No, I don’t want an electronic copy. I need to see the paper copy.”

Me: “Unfortunately, I don’t have access to the paper copy. I’m working out of another office at the moment.”

Caller: “Why? I thought your desk was on the tenth floor?”

Me: “It was, but I’ve been displaced because of the water pipe bursting.”

Caller: “The water pipe?! I’m on the eighteenth floor and I haven’t moved!”

Me: “Yes, but I’m on the tenth floor and our office was badly damaged.”

Caller: “I need that file; can you get it for me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

Caller: “Why not?”

Me: “Well, because I’ll be working out of this office for the next few months until the damage is repaired. I can send you an electronic copy.”

Caller: “No! I absolutely must look at the paper copy. This is very urgent! Can’t you come over and get it for me?”

Me: “I don’t think I can do that.”

Caller: “Why not?”

Me: “First of all, it would take me more than an hour to get there from where I am now. I would need to take a bus, a streetcar, and the subway. Plus, the tenth floor is closed off and under construction. It would be a health and safety risk if I tried to get in.”

Caller: “I’m on the eighteenth floor; the water pipe didn’t cause any damage up here!”

Me: “Yes, well, since water flows down and not upward, I’m sure it didn’t. But it has caused damage to my office and I don’t have access to the paper copy. I can send you an electronic one if you’d like.”

Caller: “Oh, just forget it! I’ll take a look at the paper copy when you come back!”

I hope her request wasn’t too urgent. We were displaced for over a year and a half!

I work at a store that sells luggage and other travel accessories and bags. We always try to keep a large selection to suit everyone, so as a result, we have suitcases at many prices, ranging from $75 to $3000. Almost every day:

Me: “Do you have a budget or price point in mind?” 

Customer: “Oh, you know, not too much!”

I’ve just put in my order at the tills for a soup and sandwich to go, and they directed me to the other end of the counter where orders are picked up. I’m waiting fairly close to the counter but not standing right in front of it. The customer behind me looks at me, walks past me, and stands directly in front of the counter. The customer is an older man and all of the employees have East Asian accents.

Employee: *In accented English* “The soup was to go?”

I raise my hand and step closer.

Me: “Ye—”

The other customer butts in impatiently in French.

Customer: “Yes, cinnamon raisin!”

The employee, probably just hearing the “yes,” goes back to fill up the order. I come over and peer over the counter and see that she is filling up a bowl with my soup, but I actually wanted it to go. I try to call to her across the counter, but she is all the way on the other end and I don’t want to disturb everyone in the area.

Me: *To the other customer, in French* “Didn’t she ask if the soup was to go?”

Customer: *Indignantly, in French* “I don’t know! Mine is a cinnamon raisin bagel!”

The customer huffed and puffed impatiently and didn’t apologize, and when the poor employee came to the counter with my order on a plate I told her that it was my order and it was actually to go. She gave a side glance at the other customer, who was red and huffing, and kindly went to correct my order.

I don’t know if this guy couldn’t understand the language, the accent, or the question, but would it kill you to wait your turn in line and pay attention to what people are asking you?

Related:
No Soup For You!, Part 2
No Soup For You!

Me: “[Company] mail order, [My Name] speaking; how can I help you?”

Caller: *Hesitant voice* “Hi, um, I, um… what do you guys do there, please?”

The speaker seems pretty confused but very pleasant so I’m not worried.

Me: “We make toy soldiers for table top games, ma’am. Is there something specific you were looking for?”

Caller: “You see, my name is [My Name] and I work at Hot Chicks Videos in California.”

Me: “Um…”

Caller: “See, we keep getting calls from kids who want orcs, and confused grannies, and…”

I chatted with the caller for a bit, and it turned out that their phone number and ours were essentially the same, except that theirs was an 0-800 number and ours was a 1-800.

This adult call centre was getting so many calls from people wanting to buy toy soldiers that they’d had to lose the “Hot Chicks” part and start answering the phone with just, “Videos.”

It was genuinely one of my best calls working for that company.