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Parental Guidance Assumes The Parents Can Read… And Think

, , , , , | Right | October 17, 2022

I was working at a theatre when “Meet The Fockers” came out.

Customer: “I have a complaint! This PG rating is misleading. How can the movie be a PG with this many eff-bombs?!”

Me: “Sir, the title is a play on a curse word.”

Customer: “This movie is totally inappropriate for my grandson! He’s only five!”

Next Customer In Line: “If you can’t figure that it’s inappropriate for your five-year-old grandson… that’s not their problem! Learn to read and get out of the way!”

You Will Pay For Your Unreasonableness

, , , , , , , , , | Working | CREDIT: Groot13 | October 12, 2022

This happened years ago.

In Toronto, there’s a small island airport close to downtown and then the full-on Pearson International. Once every two weeks or so, I’d have to travel for work, so I’d usually book my flight through the island airport since it would be cheaper, and my office was downtown so it took literally fifteen minutes to get there. (There were no real customs or anything; you could show up thirty minutes before your flight departure time and be good to go.) If my flight was at 1:00 pm, I’d leave the office at noon and make it with time to spare. 

One day, I got my expense request denied for the [Rideshare] that took me to the airport because “it was close enough to walk and, as per company policy, taxi/rideshare is only for Pearson.” This was all over $12, and I had been doing this for months.

Okay, fine.

The next flight I booked at Pearson. The ticket was $900 instead of $400, I paid $70 in a [Rideshare] to get there instead of $12, and I had to leave work a full three and a half hours before my flight to make it through check-in, security, etc., to get to my gate in time. Usually, I’d be on some sort of call leading up to my flight, but at Pearson, I couldn’t do any work at all. Sorry, team, I’m unavailable for the rest of the day because of company policy.

When I came by, I was asked why my expense report was double the usual amount I’d put in. It’s because I couldn’t expense a $12 [Rideshare] to the island airport, and I was not going to walk for forty minutes in my suit and dress shoes in the middle of January in the snow.

Two months later, it had cost them over $2,000 more than what I’d normally have spent. Some of the flights in that time were over $1,000 versus $400 at the island airport.

Finally, I got an email one day saying I could take whichever flights I deemed best based on my judgment and that any amount under $700 was auto-approved at the island airport. Now, I get to eat a nice meal and sometimes upgrade myself to premium seats and still fall within budget!

Must Have Traded In His Brain

, , , , | Right | October 10, 2022

I work at a dealership for one of the major cell phone service providers in the province. About an hour before closing, a customer comes in.

Me: “Hello there. What can I do for you tonight?”

Customer: “I want to trade in my phone for the newest iPhone.”

Me: “Of course.”

We go over all the pricing and everything he needs to know. He gets the iPhone he wants with all the accessories he needs for it. It is all paid for with the trade-in discount applied to the order. All his contacts, photos, and other information have been transferred to the new phone.

An hour has passed, which takes us just past closing. We go through and sign the contract. We are almost finished.

I put all of the customer’s things into a bag and am about to factory reset the old device.

Customer: “What are you doing?”

Me: “I’m going to factory reset the phone.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Since it’s no longer your phone, I have to wipe it for privacy concerns.”

Customer: “Wait. I don’t get to keep the phone?”

Me: *Thinking he can’t be serious* “No? You traded it in.”

Customer: “No. I still want to keep my old phone.”

Me: “…”

I cancelled the original order, refunded his money, and then redid everything without the trade-in promo.

By the time I was finished with that, he was out of my hair, and I finished closing the store, it was over an hour past closing. Overtime can be nice, but for me, it’s not because of dealing with stupidity. What did he think “trade-in” meant?!

Taxis Are Expensive But Cheaper Than Ambulances!

, , , , , | Right | October 6, 2022

CONTENT WARNING: Domestic Abuse

 

I work as a gas station cashier on the graveyard shift. My gas station layout is roughly a rectangle that’s about thirty feet wide and about twenty feet lengthwise, with doors to the outside at the bottom corners and a bathroom in the top left corner.

It’s around two in the morning, so it’s pretty dead. My coworker and I are just talking to kill time. He is heading outside to check the pumps when, lo and behold, he comes in with a smaller woman on his shoulder.

He helps her into the gas station from the bottom left door. She is wearing what looks like attire you would see at a dance club and is groaning and moaning in pain. Quickly, I take the girl’s other shoulder, and between the two of us, we help her to the other side of the store where we have some chairs for customers to enjoy our hot food.

The girl was apparently with her boyfriend in his car, they got into a fight, and he somehow pushed her out of the moving car onto the pavement on the highway by our gas station. She has been limping since then.

My coworker and I try and get more information out of her and see if she needs medical attention. She seems to ebb and flow about whether she wants us to call 911 or not, but eventually, I call the ambulance.

The wait for the ambulance is agony, and I’m mentally pleading for them to get here quickly with the girl’s constant whimpering. Finally, they get here, and we arrange to have the ambulance at the bottom east door so it’s as close as possible to the woman.

Between my coworker, me, and the two paramedics, we help stand her up and walk to the ambulance, and we spend about five to ten minutes trying to encourage and help her climb into the ambulance. She’s constantly repeating that it hurts too much and that she can’t do it, and the paramedics keep telling her she needs to get up in there.

Finally, she is in the vehicle, and the paramedics come out to talk to my coworker and me outside the door. We are explaining to them the situation as we understand it and what happened to her… and then the whole situation gets flipped on its head.

On the other side of the gas station, the same woman enters the left bottom door, having gotten out of the ambulance and travelled the full thirty feet across west, which is near impossible without two big guys helping her. She hurries to the bathroom in the top left corner which is about another twenty feet.

The four of us watch this with an expression that can best be described as “…the f***?”

The paramedics say this happens occasionally; sometimes a person will party too much or get hammered, and instead of having to pay for a cab, they call an ambulance thinking it’s a free ride.

The girl exits the bathroom and returns to the ambulance without saying a word, and we see the paramedics off.

To this day, I still don’t know what the truth is. She could have legitimately been hurt by her boyfriend and needed our and the paramedics’ help, and she just really needed to use the bathroom, working through the pain.

Or… she could have been lying through her teeth and was looking to prey on the sympathy of some graveyard workers who would believe a sob story so she could get a free ride.

An Excess Of Humidifier Humility

, , , , , | Working | October 4, 2022

I went into a local small town branch of a nationally owned chain, looking for a white noise machine. I had a previous humidifier that I used for this purpose (to create noise, not to humidify). I wanted to find the same thing but couldn’t remember the brand.

A salesperson approached.

Employee: “Can I help you find anything?”

Me: “I am looking for a very loud, very cheap humidifier that doesn’t necessarily need to work.” 

Employee: *Without missing a beat* “You’ve come to the right place.”