Leave A Black Mark On That Patient’s File

, , , , | | Healthy | June 13, 2019

(I work as a dental assistant. After doing some fillings for a patient, I walk her out to the front desk and she stops in the bathroom first. I notice our receptionist is busy with a call, and the dentist doesn’t have another patient for about 15 minutes, so I decide I’ll help out at the front desk and see the last patient out. She comes out of the bathroom and we have this conversation at the desk.)

Patient: “The dentist put a black filling in my mouth!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there isn’t any such thing as a black filling. I can assure you [Doctor] only placed white composite fillings that match your tooth shade.”

Patient: “It’s right here! It’s black!” *points to a tooth on the opposite side from what we worked on*

Me: “Ma’am, [Doctor] placed fillings on the other side of your mouth. He didn’t touch the tooth you’re pointing to. What your pointing to is a silver amalgam filling that has aged and is no longer shiny, causing it to appear almost black.”

Patient: “No. This was not here before!”

Me: “Ma’am, where is your mouth frozen?”

Patient: *points to the side opposite of tooth she is complaining about*

Me: “That’s the side [Doctor] worked on, not the tooth you notice the dark spot on.”

Patient: “No, he did both. Go check with him or the nurse that was working with him.”

Me: “I am the assistant that was working with him. I’m just helping our receptionist, as she was busy with a call when you first came to the desk, and I can assure you that we did not work on that tooth or that side of your mouth. That is an old silver filling. If it bothers you, we can have the dentist look at it and see if he can replace it, but we’ll need to book you another appointment for that.”

Patient: “No, it’s fine.” *pays and leaves*

Receptionist: “I’m so glad that happened to you and not me.”

A Short-Lived Romance

, , , , , , | | Romantic | June 13, 2019

(This story happened to my father in the 70s, before cellphones and Internet. While going to university, he lived with three roommates; the first two were fairly regular guys, but the third one, well… He was a weird, eccentric guy, and a bit of an idiot. One night, my father and the weird roommate are the only ones at the apartment. My father comes out of his room to go to the kitchen and sees that the roommate is on the phone.)

Roommate: “Hi, can I speak to [Name]?” *pause* “A wrong number? Didn’t I call [Number]?”

(My father thinks nothing of it and goes back to his room. A few minutes later, he hears guitar playing and singing, so he goes to investigate. He comes out of his room and sees his roommate sitting on a bench, playing guitar, and singing with the phone lying on the counter, pointing towards him. Then, after two or three minutes of this, the roommate picks up the phone and talks a bit with the person on the other side, wishes them farewell, and hangs up.)

Father: “What was that all about? Why the heck were you playing guitar on a phone call?”

Roommate: “Oh, yeah! Funny story. I dialed the wrong number, and then I chatted a bit with the girl who answered the phone. We’re about the same age, and I asked her if she knew [Artist], and then I offered to sing one of their songs.”

Father: *incredulous* “And she said yes?”

Roommate: “Yes, of course! So, I sang to her, and she said she liked it.”

(My father starts thinking, “I can’t believe he actually found someone as crazy as himself!”)

Father: “So, when will you see her?”

Roommate: “What do you mean?”

Father: “Dude, if she lets you sing to her after you called a wrong number, surely she’s interested in you. Didn’t you ask for her number?”

Roommate: “Oh, I didn’t think about that.”

(And that’s how that weird roommate finally realized that he had managed to charm a complete stranger on a wrong phone number call, and ultimately screwed it up because he was so oblivious.)

Addressing The Dress Issue

, , , , , , , | | Hopeless | June 12, 2019

(I am on my lunch break, sitting in a small pizza place. The seating is limited, so a dad and his daughter, around five years old, end up sitting right next to me. I’m not paying too much attention to them, so I’m not sure what the context is, but at some point, the daughter must have said that something, probably a toy, is a girl.)

Dad: “Why is it a girl?”

Daughter: “Because she has a dress.”

Dad: “Well, that doesn’t mean that it’s a girl.”

Daughter: “Yes, it does. Girls wear dresses.”

Dad: “But boys can wear dresses, too.”

(The daughter is silent for a moment as she thinks.)

Daughter: “That’s silly. Boys can’t wear dresses.”

Dad: “Why not?”

Daughter: *another pause to think* “Because dresses are for girls.”

Dad: “Some boys like to wear dresses.”

Daughter: *laughs as if the dad told a joke* “You don’t wear dresses”

Dad: “No, because I don’t want to. But some boys do.”

(By this point, I had finished my lunch and I needed to get back to work. The daughter was quiet again, so either she was still confused, or accepted what her dad said. The fact that someone was willing to teach their young child something like gender neutrality at a young age was so heartwarming, and I could tell that she was being raised well.)

Looking For (Micro)Soft Targets

, , , , | | Legal | June 12, 2019

(My wife is on the phone with her 65-year-old father. He’s normally very intelligent, and not losing his mental faculty at all, but he is notoriously gullible. He’s telling her about a call he had earlier that day with Tech Support. It’s clear to us immediately that he was scammed.)

Wife: *to her father* “But you barely use your computer. Why would it have a bunch of viruses?” *listens to him speak* “But your computer was working fine.” *listens to him speak* “[Software Company] called you?” *listens to him speak* “It was a fake website, Dad. It’s just made to trick people by showing error messages and warnings about viruses.” *listens to him speak* “Please tell me you didn’t give him your credit card number!”

Me: “Give me the phone; I’ll explain it to him.” *takes phone*

Father-In-Law: “It wasn’t a scam. He said they found viruses, but he fixed the computer. He was really nice; his name was Mike.”

(My father-in-law used to work as a car mechanic until his recent retirement.)

Me: “Let me ask you one thing. Did your boss ever send you out to check the tire pressure for your clients at their own homes?”

Father-In-Law: “No.”

Me: “Did you ever drive around to your clients to check their oil without even asking them?”

Father-In-Law: “No, that’s silly.”

Me: “Right. It’s their car. They’re responsible for it, not you. And your boss couldn’t afford to pay you to check on everyone else’s cars for free. Right?”

Father-In-Law: “Of course.”

Me: “So, why would [Software Company] pay someone to check your computer for viruses when you never even asked them to? How many people would they need to employ to check on everyone with a computer?”

Father-In-Law: *in total surprise* “I think I’ve been scammed.”

(He called his bank, and they had already taken $1200. I seriously hate scammers.)

Me Dad’s A Muggle; Mum’s A Witch

, , , , | | Related | June 12, 2019

(My whole family is made up of geeks. My mom and sister “pass” as normal unless you find just the right topic, but the geekiness is still there. Mom doesn’t seem to see it that way, though, and insists she just indulges the rest of us. I’m talking to my mom about a convention a friend of mine and her brother went to that weekend.)

Me: “It’s the first time [Brother] has ever done a full weekend at a con because his wife just doesn’t get the appeal and begrudges the cost, but [Friend] brought him as a combination birthday/Christmas gift. [Brother]’s wife is, apparently, a total… well, [Friend] and I call them ‘muggles.’ — people with no connection or interest in nerd things at all who just don’t get it.”

Mom: *brightly* “Like me!”

Me: *after a pause* “Mom, you spend all year putting together your costume for your weekend-long Steampunk murder mystery LARP. You are not a muggle; you’re just niche.”

(Yes, I’m aware that the usage of “muggle” is common online and in my generation. My friend and I didn’t invent it. However, opening that can of worms with my mother would have derailed the conversation into speculation about linguistic shift, as it has done in the past. And I stand by my assessment. Mom used to pick situationally appropriate songs for her D&D bard to be singing and was the reason we used to get so many story modifiers on our bluff checks. No one who has proper opinions on the point in time when it becomes more effective to Aid Another rather than to try and hit the monster themselves should really be calling themselves a “muggle.”)

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