A Sign Of A Bad Sale

, , , , | Working | September 15, 2017

(My husband, two teenage daughters, and I have decided to go couch shopping. First, we visit a local furniture shop. The shop’s entrance is at the back of the building and require us to go down a steep flight of stairs.)

Me: “Wow, it’s a bit tricky getting down these stairs.”

Salesman: “Well, THAT’S why there’s a sign that say, ‘Watch Your Step.’ Not that I’d expect a woman to pay attention to a sign, ha ha!”

(The four of us, which, if you’re keeping track, included THREE WOMEN [as well as a very feminist guy] all stared at him in disbelief. He didn’t make a sale that day, partly because of that remark, and partly because his store’s furniture was ugly and overpriced.)

Keyboard Warriors Are Afraid Of Actual War

, , , , , | Right | September 15, 2017

(My mother used to be the head secretary for a union boss. [Boss] was always in the news, usually in a negative way, and he was extremely unpopular. Mum could depend on getting at least one call like this per day:)

Mum: “Good morning, [Union Office].

Angry Caller: “Is this the office of [Boss]?”

Mum: “Yes.”

Angry Caller: “You can tell that guy that he’s a f*****, and his mother was a w****, and if I ever see him, I’m going to—”

Mum: “Actually, he’s right here. You can tell him yourself. One moment, please.”

Angry Caller: *click*

System Of A Down-Time

, , , , , | Learning | September 15, 2017

I am a teacher at an international school, where the focus is to have students successfully integrate into the Canadian education system and go to a Canadian University. This group of students were the smartest and most well-behaved group I had ever taught. That being said, since they were away from home and on their own for the first time, there was sometimes the problem of them staying up super late, and falling asleep in class as a result. At first, I would gently knock on their desk and they would sit up, but there were a few recurring sleepers. I got an idea of how to deal with them and make it so they wouldn’t fall asleep again.

It was a work period, and I noticed one student asleep at his desk. I grabbed my iPod and my portable speakers and walked over to him. I selected the song “Chop Suey” by System of a Down and waited until it got to a crucial line before blasting at full volume:

“WAKE UP! GRAB A BRUSH AND PUT A LITTLE MAKEUP!”

Cue the student leaping out of their desk and the rest of the students laughing. In hindsight, yes, it might have been a bit mean. However, every class I’ve done that for not only LOVES it, but even the students I use it against find it hilarious and don’t do it again.

Unfiltered Story #93707

, , , | Unfiltered | September 15, 2017

I’m at a dollar store, looking at dog toys. I find a small pig, I want to know if this will wistle each time the dog bite it (which would drive me crazy within 5min) so give it a squeez. To my surprise, it don’t wistle, it’s grunting like a real piggy!
Unfortunalty, a couple passed by at the same time and it went like this:

Him: Oh! Just like you laughing!
Her, angryly: No!

And that’s how the fight started…

(If you are wonderring, I just putted back the toy and slowly backed off…)

That’s Your Cross To Bear

, , , | Related | September 14, 2017

(My niece, my nephew, and I are all visiting my parents’ house for the weekend. In their family room, my parents have a stuffed bear that loudly sings “When I’m Sixty-Four” when you push a button on it. My nephew thinks the bear is scary and makes them put it away when he visits. This time, though, they’ve forgotten. I notice, and quietly hide it away. I go inform my mom what I’ve done.)

Me: *quietly, so just my mom can hear* “Just so you know, you forgot to put the bear away, so I’ve put it in the cupboard under the computer desk. I hope [Nephew] didn’t see it.”

Mom: “He did, but that’s okay.” *turns to my nephew* “[Nephew], Uncle [My Name] just made sure the bear went away. Do you have anything you want to say to him?”

Nephew: *looks me dead in the eye with a most serious expression and angry tone* “Don’t let it happen again.”

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