I upgrade laptop computers for civil servants. When I took the work, I had this image of public sector employees being rude and entitled and was delighted when the opposite turned out to be true. I had never met so many people delighted to be of help.

It was too good to last. The rot set in slowly, with people doing exceptionally human things. Not reading important information. Panicking because they hadn’t read the information.

My most recent shift begins with two clients who want things done their way. I don’t have that kind of authority. I get handed a work order, and I’m prohibited from helping anyone until I have that paperwork.

Me: “Hello, I’m [My Name]. I’m here to upgrade your laptop.”

[Client #2] starts raising her hands and waving them frantically.

Client #1: “You’ll have to come back when I’m finished with this.”

Me: “Can you tell me when that might be?”

Client #1: “I really couldn’t say.”

[Client #2] continues to wave her hands, still sitting at her cubicle.

Me: *To [Client #2]* “Did you want something, ma’am?”

Client #2: “I need to take my computer home for the evening.”

Me: “That’s fine, go ahead. But if it’s not there, we don’t know when the upgrade will happen.”

Client #2: “Okay, wow, I’m just telling you. I can’t be at my desk tomorrow; I have to take this computer home.”

Me: “That’s fine. I’ll just tell the coordinator that.”

Client #2: “But I need a computer tomorrow. I guess it’ll have to be this one.”

I finally figure out that she thinks I can just give her the laptop I’m carrying. That’s not so. Each laptop is configured with the software the client is authorized to have, and every one so far has been different; there’s no “standard.” I haven’t told [Client #2] yet that I can’t do anything for her at all until I or another of our team is assigned her work order.

Me: “And that’s fine.”

Client #2: “Can’t you upgrade my computer now?”

Me: “Well, that takes about an hour, and—”

Client #2: “That’s fine. I’ll just wait until it’s done, and then I can go home.”

There were all sorts of reasons that was not going to work, and the paperwork was the least of them. I’m not in any sense a team lead, but we try to be as helpful as we can. If I got her details, I could ask my coordinator if he could dispatch a team member specifically with her paperwork. So, I got what my coordinator will need.

With the benefit of hindsight, I should have explained to [Client #2] immediately that every client is assigned a team member specifically, because when I got called away, [Client #2] was kind of huffy about it. When I came back a few minutes later, the team member who was assigned to her had arrived.

I’m talking to a young couple looking at an RV. The husband asks me if I RV, but I tell him that I can’t as I am working when there is good camping weather.

The husband asks me where I am going on holiday this winter and I say Austria. The cute little wife pipes up and says, “I have always wanted to go there and see the Koala bears!”

Both the husband and I look at her, dumbfounded.

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My part of the world gets very cold in the winter, and I recently splurged on a pair of battery-powered gloves. When they’re switched on, they give off a small blue light.  

I am shopping for groceries and groan inwardly when I see my cashier. He’s a nice guy, but he never. Stops. Talking. I’ve learned to just nod and smile and give the occasional, “You got that right!” or “I know!”. Even if I wanted to engage in conversation, he’d never give me a chance to get a word in edgewise, anyway.

Cashier: “Blah blah blah.”

Me: “You bet.”

Cashier: “Blah blah blah.”

Me: “Ain’t that the truth?”

Cashier: “Blah— What’s that?!”

Me: “You said it— Wait, what’s what?”

Cashier: “THAT!”

He points accusingly at the lights on my gloves.

Cashier: “ARE YOU RECORDING ME? IS THAT A CAMERA?”

Me: “No! Those are my gloves. They’re battery-powered.”

He glares at me suspiciously. 

Cashier: “Really? You’re not one of those secret shoppers?”

Me: “No!”

He conducted the rest of my transaction in complete silence.

I am only fourteen, coming back home after visiting my dad, with only enough money to pay for my bus ticket and a meal. Student cards are only given out after school pictures have been taken.

Me: “One ticket to [Town], please. And I’m a student.”

I show him my student card.

Teller: “That’s from last year. You need this year’s student card.”

Me: “But, my school only took pictures a couple of weeks ago. We don’t have this year’s card yet.”

Teller: “No, pictures were taken two months ago. You should have your card by now. If you don’t have this year’s card, you’re a dropout and need to pay full price.”

Me: “We didn’t get our pictures taken until just a couple weeks ago. We haven’t gotten our new IDs yet.”

Teller: *yelling* “No! Pictures were taken two months ago! You are a dropout and you have to pay full price!“

Me: “Pictures were only two weeks ago! We haven’t gotten our new IDs yet!”

Teller: “If you don’t want to pay for your ticket, then get out of my line and let me serve an actual customer!”

I paid full price for my ticket, using my food money to cover it. Thanks to him, I went twelve straight hours without eating anything. My new ID didn’t arrive for another three weeks.

I work at a call center placing orders for a major retailer. I am working with one woman who has trouble placing her order on our website. We came to the part where she has to tell me her card details.

It doesn’t go through; her information isn’t matching.

I advise her that she will need to contact her credit card provider and verify that all of her information is correct.

Customer: “But it is my information; they just extended my date and gave me a new card. Use it!”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t put your card through; the information will not verify. It is possible that your credit card provider hasn’t got all of your information correctly updated. You just need to check with them and then contact us back with the correct information.”

Customer: “I don’t want to deal with all that; just make it work.”

Me: “The card will not work without that information. It is part of our security program. Without those details matching, we can’t use the card. It is for your protection.”

Customer: “Hmph! Everyone else takes it; why won’t you?”

Me: “It is part of the security, ma’am, to keep people who aren’t authorized from using your information. You need to verify it with your bank.”

Customer: “Well, this isn’t customer service! I’ll just take my business to [Competitor]. You just lost a sale!” *Click*

At least she won’t be calling back to complain that we used her card without her permission.