You Can Appoint The Exact Moment The Sale Died

, , , , , , | Working | August 25, 2019

(Many years ago, I bought a brand-new car from the local dealership. A few months later, I began receiving phone calls from the dealership offering to appraise my now-used vehicle as a trade-in on a new car. After a while I was getting these phone calls at least weekly. Every time they called, I asked to be put on the do-not-call list. I explained that I was not planning to trade my car in anytime soon and that I didn’t want any more phone calls. The calls persisted, however, and I ended up telling them several times that if the calls continued, I would never buy from that dealership again anyway. The calls continued. Finally, fed up, I agreed to make an appointment to come in and have my car appraised. Of course, when the day and time came, I had better things to do. After the appointment time has come and gone, I receive a call from one of the salesmen at the dealership.)

Sales Guy: “Hi! I was calling to remind you that you had an appointment today for an appraisal of your [car]. Did you have an emergency that kept you from coming in?”

Me: “Oh, yeah, I know I had an appointment. I just didn’t come.”

Sales Guy: “Um, you just didn’t come?”

Me: “No. I’ve asked you guys over and over to stop calling, and you kept calling, so I just decided to make an appointment whenever you call.”

Sales Guy: “So, you had no intention of coming in?”

Me: “Nope.”

Sales Guy: “So, you made an appointment knowing you wouldn’t come in?!”

Me: “Yep.”

Sales Guy: “You can’t do that!”

Me: “I can and I did and I will every time one of your guys calls me again.”

Sales Guy: “But you’re wasting our time!”

Me: “Then stop calling me. When a paying customer tells you they don’t want any more of your solicitation calls, especially when the calls are coming multiple times per week, maybe listen?!”

(The calls stopped after that, and my next car was a different brand.)

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Losing The Daddy Of All Sales

, , , , , | Working | August 21, 2019

(When I am 26, in the 80s, I go to buy my first new car. I have researched the value of the car using Consumer Reports and other car-buying magazines and I know what I want to pay for it. I take my father with me; he is in his 50s at the time. At the first dealer, the transaction goes something like this — boiled down from a 30-minute conversation.) 

Me: *to the dealer* “I’d like to look at your inventory of [year] [Model]s in blue or silver with very few extras, like no moonroof.”

Dealer: *to my father* “What kind of car are you interested in today, sir?”

Father: *pointing to me* “She’s buying the car. Don’t ask me.”

Dealer: *to my father* “Would you be interested in taking out a loan?”

Me: *to dealer* “I’d like to discuss the price of the car first and take a test drive.”

Dealer: *to my father* “Would you like to go on a test drive? I need a copy of your driver’s license.”

Father: “She’s buying the car and wants a test drive, after you answer her questions.”

Dealer: *to my father* “I think we can get you set up in a test drive, if you’ll come this way.”

Me: *to the dealer, holding my checkbook above my head and waving it like a flag* “I’m buying the car and I’d like to ask some questions.”

Dealer: *to my father* “Sir, come right this way for a test drive.”

(I got up, still waving my checkbook and walked out the door. My father got up and followed me.)

Dealer: *to my father* “Sir! Where are you going?”

Father: *shrugging at the dealer* “I’m with her.”

(I glanced back to an astounded look on dealer’s face as his guaranteed car sale drove away.)

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A Very Testing Drive

, , , , , , | Legal | July 15, 2019

(As a “genius” for a luxury German car company, part of my job is to book and take people out on test drives. A man comes in with a foreign driving license, but as it is within 18 months of citizenship, it is technically valid under UK law at the time. I take all of his details and nothing flags on the system. The next day, the man comes in and it’s apparent that he doesn’t speak great English. He has a three-week old baby in a car seat and wants to take her on the test drive. I check with my manager; it’s not typical but we allow it and we get going. Part of the test drive is on the local motorway so that people can test the cars at a higher speed. Suddenly, the man takes off like a bat out of Hell. Even though we are test driving a sports car, we still have to obey the law. I inform the man that he has to slow down. At this point, he’s going 120 mph in a 70-mph zone.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir. You need to slow down.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “You’re breaking the law. If you cannot slow down to the speed limit, we’ll have to stop the car and I’ll drive us back to the dealership.”

Customer: “My car now.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “This is my car now. No dealership.”

Me: “Sir, this is a test drive. We need to go back to the dealership and you need to slow down.”

Customer: “I signed papers. This is my car now.”

Me: “But you didn’t pay for the car. You need to take the next exit.”

Customer: “My car now.”

(I started to freak out. It was becoming fairly clear that I was being kidnapped whilst this man tried to steal a car during a test drive. I was in a car with someone that didn’t seem to speak my language well but also didn’t seem to care that he was going 120 mph with a fairly newborn baby in the back seat. I pressed the panic button to alert the police and waited as he sped down the motorway. Soon, there were blue and red lights, and a car chase followed. Luckily, the man pulled over very quickly. He tried to run away down the hard shoulder of the motorway, leaving his infant daughter behind. I don’t know if he honestly thought he’d bought the car, or even thought about why I was in the car with him. He was arrested and charged with kidnapping and endangering a minor, and for the attempted theft of the very expensive vehicle. I still don’t understand why someone would try to steal a car during a test drive, when we had all their details! Insane.)

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Driving Below The Speed Limit Is For Babies

, , , , , , , , | Right | June 18, 2019

I work for a luxury car company. It’s my job to be on the sales floor and take people on test drives, etc.

One day, a man comes into the dealership whose English isn’t the best. He has booked a test drive via the online feature.

When we walk towards the car he will be test driving, he stops me with a wave of his hands and rushes off to get something out of his car. I think, at first, that he’s getting his glasses or something, but he comes back with a tiny baby in a car seat. Not unusual, but worth mentioning.

We start driving down the dual carriageway, and I mention that if he wants to test the sixth gear, he can, as the speed limit is 70.

Instead, the man’s speed starts to edge towards 100 mph, and every time I try and ask him to slow down, it becomes clear that he can’t understand what I am saying.

Finally, through wild hand movements, we manage to get back onto the smaller roads to drive back to the dealership. The man starts driving on the wrong side of the road.

I have to grab the steering wheel to move us out of the oncoming path of a lorry, whilst I am being berated in German by the man.

I pull the handbrake — when it’s safe to do so — and drive us back to the dealership.

When we get back, the driver gets into his car and drives off without a word…

…leaving me with his infant daughter in the test car.

The phone number provided doesn’t work and in the end, we have to phone the police because we don’t know what to do. They come with social services and take the baby into their care.

The police eventually reunite the daughter with her mother. It turns out that the man was her father, who has visitation every other weekend.

The man submits such a poor feedback form about the test drive that I could lose my job and I am subjected to an internal review. Luckily, the camera and audio footage from the car show what actually happened.

The speeding ticket we receive from the test drive, with his photo driving, also helps me keep my job.

We’ll see if the ticket gets paid or not…

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Estimate That He’s Been Waiting Since The Fifties

, , , | Right | May 24, 2019

(I am a female estimator, the only one working in the dealership this day. I’m used to men not wanting to deal with me because I’m a woman. The receptionist comes to get me to write up a man who has just pulled in.)

Me: “Hello, sir! What damage are we looking at today?”

Customer: “I already told that other little lady that I need an estimate on my car. Now, be a doll and get someone for me.”

Me: “Well, sir, I am that someone. It looks like your front bumper has the majority of the damage. Anywhere else before I do my inspection?”

Customer: “The only inspection you need to be doing is finding someone to look at my vehicle!”

(I don’t want to argue, so I just turn and go back to my office. After about ten minutes, the receptionist comes to tell me the man is still waiting.)

Me: “So, have you decided to go ahead with the inspection, sir?”

Customer: “D*** it! I WILL NOT HAVE A WOMAN LOOKING AT MY VEHICLE! THIS IS A MAN’S JOB!”

Me: “You’ll be waiting a very long time, then, I’m afraid. See, I am the only estimator working today. I am the only person here who can tell you that I think the bumper got pushed into your radiator, and that is why there is a greenish liquid all over the ground. I am also the only person here who can tell you that your vehicle isn’t safe to drive, and if you insist on taking it home and waiting for a man to be here, you will cause more damage than if you were to just let me take care of it. Any other concerns I can address for you right now, or are you going to let me do my job?”

Customer: *very sheepishly* “Do you need my keys?”

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