Customer: “This book looks interesting. How do I watch it?”

Me: “Watch it?”

Customer: “Yes, where can I find the movie?”

Me: “I don’t think this book has been adapted into a movie.”

Customer: “What do you mean? Where can I go to watch it? I want to know what happens in the book!”

Me: “Forgive me for asking, but if you want to know what happens, why not just read it?”

Customer: “Read? How stupid! Where’s the movie?! All books are made into movies so that we don’t have to read them!”

Me: “I am sorry, I can’t help you. This is a bookstore. Only popular books — usually adventure stories — are adapted into movies. I am quite sure that this book hasn’t been made into a movie.”

Customer: “Why not?!”

Me: “Because it’s a fishing manual.”

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(I am working near a copy station, and a woman comes up with a large stack of papers.)

Customer: “Do you have any zip ties to bind this with?”

Me: “Sure, here.”

(As she binds the papers, I see the word “Ethics” on the first page.)

Me: “Oh, is this for an ethics class?”

Customer: “Yes! I didn’t want to pay for the book, so I photocopied it. Do you think the professor is going to like how resourceful I am?”

Me: “I’m sure you’ll have a very lively discussion about it.”

This story is part of our Customer Situations That Will NOT End Well roundup!

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Customer: “Can you help me to find the ‘Frankenstein’ trilogy by James Patterson?”

Me: “Sir, I think maybe you mean Dean Koontz.”

Customer: “No. Patterson wrote it.”

Me: “Okay, one moment; let me get that for you.”

(I return with the first book of Dean Koontz’s Frankenstein trilogy).)

Me: “Is this what you wanted?”

Customer: “Yeah. That’s the one. I need the fourth book in the trilogy.”

Me: “I believe there are only three books in the trilogy.”

Customer: “No, I read online. There are four.”

Me: “All right. One minute, please.”

(I return with the third book in the trilogy.)

Me: “Is this what you needed?”

Customer: “Yeah. That’s it. Have you read these?”

Me: “Yes I have. I thought they were a wonderful re-imagining of Mary Shelley. I really enjoyed Koontz’s ideas about the monster.”

Customer: “Yeah but he didn’t even put Frankenstein in the books. Just some scientist guy. What kind of a name is Victor anyway?”

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15 Hilarious Stories About Customers Demanding The Impossible

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Customer: “Excuse me, I have an important question.”

Me: “Sure, what can I help you with?”

Customer: “You know a lot about the Bible, right?”

Me: “Well, not everything entirely.”

Customer: “Okay. Can you tell me what part of the Bible does Narnia come in?”

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(A customer looks at our new game ‘Dante’s Inferno.’)

Customer: “Is this, like about Dante from Devil May Cry?”

Me: “No, it’s based on the poems.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “It’s was originally a series of poems. The Divine Comedy.”

Customer: “So, it’s a book?”

Me: “No, it’s a game based on the poems from the Divine Comedy.”

Customer: “What? So, it’s a game, then? What the heck is a poem?”

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