I Give Size Zero F***s About Your “Opinion”
As any clothes shopper will know, sizes can change dramatically between brands. This can be frustrating to certain types of shoppers who equate their self-worth to their clothing size.
A woman storms up to my counter near the changing rooms.
Customer: “Your clothes are all wrong!”
Me: “What do you mean, ma’am?”
Customer: “I just tried these on and they’re too tight, but they’re a size four!”
Me: “Yes, ma’am, our sizing can—”
Customer: “Look at me! I’m a two at most! Probably even a zero!”
Me: “Well, we don’t do size zero here, ma’am.”
Customer: “What are you going to do about this?”
Me: “Well, sizing can change between brands, so if you tried one size up maybe you’d—”
Customer: “Excuse me? Did you just call me fat?”
Me: *Internal sigh* “No, ma’am.”
Customer: “Good! Because you’re the fat cow here, not me!”
At this point, I call my manager over because I am not dealing with this kind of evil on minimum wage.
Manager: “Can I help you, ma’am?”
Customer: “Your oversized beached whale over there called me fat! Me! I am clearly a size zero!”
My manager looks over at me questioningly.
Me: “I suggested she try a size bigger if the clothes she’s tried on are too tight.”
Manager: *Back to the customer* “How is that practical suggestion an excuse to shout and call my staff names?”
Customer: “Practical? It’s an insult! I stay thin to look amazing, and your stupid clothes are undoing all my effort!”
Manager: “Ma’am, sizing can be complicated. People can look amazing in any size of clothing, and our range reflects that. Your opinion on what size you think looks good on you doesn’t give you the right to be unkind to my staff.”
Customer: “It’s not my opinion! It’s a fact.”
Manager: “No, ma’am, it’s not.”
Customer: “Whatever. I look amazing, and that’s a fact. You’re all a bunch of worthless fat people, and that’s a fact, too!”
Manager: “Actually, that’s an opinion, and that’s your opinion. My opinion is that you’re the ugliest person I have ever met. What is a fact is that you’re banned from this store and no longer welcome.”
She cusses up a storm but does finally leave. My manager asks me if I’m okay and I say I am.
Manager: “Don’t worry about her. She’s just cranky because we’re capable of being happy in our skin and she’s jealous.”