This happened years ago.

In Toronto, there’s a small island airport close to downtown and then the full-on Pearson International. Once every two weeks or so, I’d have to travel for work, so I’d usually book my flight through the island airport since it would be cheaper, and my office was downtown so it took literally fifteen minutes to get there. (There were no real customs or anything; you could show up thirty minutes before your flight departure time and be good to go.) If my flight was at 1:00 pm, I’d leave the office at noon and make it with time to spare. 

One day, I got my expense request denied for the [Rideshare] that took me to the airport because “it was close enough to walk and, as per company policy, taxi/rideshare is only for Pearson.” This was all over $12, and I had been doing this for months.

Okay, fine.

The next flight I booked at Pearson. The ticket was $900 instead of $400, I paid $70 in a [Rideshare] to get there instead of $12, and I had to leave work a full three and a half hours before my flight to make it through check-in, security, etc., to get to my gate in time. Usually, I’d be on some sort of call leading up to my flight, but at Pearson, I couldn’t do any work at all. Sorry, team, I’m unavailable for the rest of the day because of company policy.

When I came by, I was asked why my expense report was double the usual amount I’d put in. It’s because I couldn’t expense a $12 [Rideshare] to the island airport, and I was not going to walk for forty minutes in my suit and dress shoes in the middle of January in the snow.

Two months later, it had cost them over $2,000 more than what I’d normally have spent. Some of the flights in that time were over $1,000 versus $400 at the island airport.

Finally, I got an email one day saying I could take whichever flights I deemed best based on my judgment and that any amount under $700 was auto-approved at the island airport. Now, I get to eat a nice meal and sometimes upgrade myself to premium seats and still fall within budget!

I work in an airline call center.

Caller: “I want to use my $50-off coupon for my ticket.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but since the ticket price is less than $300, the coupon isn’t valid. Your ticket is only $220.”

Caller: “What?! That’s crazy! You will let me use this coupon! It’s my right!”

Me: “The only way I can let you use the coupon is to manually increase the ticket price to $300, but after the coupon, it would still be more than the current price of $220.”

Caller: “Do it! I must use my coupon!”

So, I did. She paid $250. The last thing she said before hanging up was:

Caller: “See, I knew you were trying to screw me out of my coupon, and you failed! I got to use it anyway!”

Related:
The Couponator 37: The Year Of Reckoning
The Couponator 36: The Counter-Coupon Cashier
The Couponator 35: Dog Food Day Afternoon
The Couponator 34: Blast From The Past
The Couponator 33: The Double Cross

Security on this airline is known to be really tough. I am waiting to go through security behind the quintessential sweet little old lady.

She is setting off all sorts of bells and whistles but apparently having trouble hearing or understanding the security guard. He looks at her, rolls his eyes, and waves her on through.

I am through quickly and as I am passing her, she catches my eye.

Little Old Lady: “Humph! He didn’t think I could be a terrorist, did he?!”

I flew from America to Canada with a box of insulin that had to stay cold. I looked online and saw that I could take a cold pack and tell them at the checkpoint that I had medication that had to stay cold.

I went through the pre-check line and met the first agent.

Me: “Hi there. This bag has some insulin and a cold pack. Should I take it out?”

Agent #1: “No, you’re pre-check; just go through.”

[Agent #2] asked me whether I had anything on the list of items that cannot fly.

Me: “No, but I have insulin and a cold pack.”

Agent #2: “Solid ice?”

Me: “It’s a… one of those blue cooler blocks?”

Agent #2: *Sigh* “Remove it. We’ll take a look.”

Me: “Okay.”

I took the cold pack and insulin out of the bag. Everything went through the scanner. I waited. And waited. And waited. Three agents looked at the scanner and then back at me. I smiled politely because I didn’t really know what else to do.

Agent #3: “Miss, is this your item?”

Me: “Yes. I told—”

Agent #3: “Step aside. I need to search your bags.”

Me: “Okay.”

I waited while this man sifted through my clothing, holding my medication up to a light and nearly emptying my backpack. Finally, he turned to the cold pack with the insulin.

Agent #3: “Is there anything dangerous, such as knives or needles, in here?”

I looked at the clear bag.

Me: “No just insulin and the cold pack.”

He turned it over in his hand, glancing up at me occasionally. Finally, he handed everything back to me.

Agent #3: “In the future, please tell the first agent that you have these items.”

Me: “I did. He said it was fine.”

The agent glared at me and waved me off. As I walked away, I wondered why he asked if there was anything dangerous in the clear bag but had no problem blindly rooting through my clothing like a truffle hog.

I am returning home from a two-week trip to Germany. The final leg of the flight departs from Paris, where I have this lovely interaction with the security agents. Despite me knowing that they are not TSA, I still refer to them as TSA in my mind.

When going through security in the airport, I know the drill: belts off, jacket off, take the laptop out of my bag. I submit to the X-ray four trays: one with my carry-on, one with my laptop by itself, one with my belt, watch, and jacket, and one with my personal item (think a fanny pack).

I’m randomly selected for further screening. (I have a Lebanese last name and a beard. I’m ALWAYS randomly selected for further screening.) The agent berates me for putting all my electronics together.

Me: “I took my laptop out of the bag, as per standard procedure.”

Agent: *Screaming at me* “That is not enough! You must take out every electronic device from your carry-on and put each of them in an individual tray. Go to the back of the line and do it right!”

There are two things this French “TSA” agent is unaware of. The first thing is that I’m a videographer by trade and I was in Europe to cover an event with video footage and interviews. The second thing is that [Airline] changed my flight times, so my two-hour layover became a ten-hour layover, which I’m not particularly happy about.

I’m being sent back to the end of the line and I have to submit each electronic item individually? Sure, no complaints from me. Two camera bodies, one drone, one GoPro, four lenses, nine batteries, and two lavalier microphones later, there is no more space in the conveyer belt. People behind me are complaining that they will miss their flights because I’m taking so long. There’s nothing I can do; I’m just following the orders I received. And at this point, I’ve only unpacked my photography vest and fanny pack.

The conveyor belt starts moving, some space clears up to put additional trays, and that’s when I open my carry-on bag. Again, I’m in Europe for work. I didn’t bring any nice clothes or shoes or anything. All my personal effects are in the checked-in luggage. The carry-on is filled EXCLUSIVELY with electronics. I still have four microphones, two recorders, lights, additional lenses, battery chargers, video monitors, audio monitors, and drone controllers. Once I open my carry-on, it’s very clear to everyone within eyesight that I’m not even a third of the way done. One electronic per tray? Sure thing, I’ll just occupy this entire checkpoint by myself, then.

The people behind me in line are literally jumping and screaming about their missed flight to the point that the security agents leave their posts to control the line. Someone in a non-uniform suit appears and talks to the agent who sent me to the back of the line.

That’s when the unthinkable happens: the agent comes to me and says:

Agent: “There’s no need for you to continue separating your electronics. You can just submit your entire carry-on bag as a single item, and we’ll examine it further if it seems necessary.”

Me: “You sure? Because it’s no bother at all. I can keep unpacking here all day long.”

They insisted it was not necessary, but I still had over twenty trays at this point occupying the conveyer belt. I went through the metal detector and then spent some minutes recovering and repacking everything.

Based on the number of fuming passengers, I like to think I contributed to [Airport] reviewing their stance on X-raying individual electronics.