(I work at an international airport for a very large car rental company. A customer approaches the counter, provides me with a reservation number, and I request their driver’s license and credit card.)

Customer: “Here is my credit card.”

Me: “Okay, I will need to see your license as well, please.”

Customer: *begins doing something on his cell phone, seemingly ignoring me*

Me: “Sir, I just need to see your driver’s license.”

Customer: “HOLD ON, HOLD ON!” *puts hand up to shush me*

(The customer hands me his cell phone in which there is a photograph of a TEMPORARY license sitting on what looks like a kitchen counter.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I need to have a physical driver’s license here in order to verify it.”

Customer: “This is a real driver’s license; there’s a photo right here.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Unfortunately, I cannot accept that as a valid driver’s license.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I have a driver’s license! It is right here. This company is going to h***, I swear!”

Me: “Could you present your license to a police officer if you were to be pulled over?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Then I cannot complete this rental for you. I’m very sorry.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. I have the license right here. Are you blind? You can see this, can’t you?”

Me: “I can see it, yes. But unless you have a valid license in your possession that could be presented if requested, I cannot legally rent you a vehicle, and legally you cannot drive a vehicle.”

Customer: “I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU GET OFF DOING THIS TO PEOPLE!” *stalks off*

Me: *slams face on desk*

(I work at a home decoration store. We have a particular brand that is unreasonably popular and people line up at the front door for it. It’s popular because people get it with us cheap and resell it online. We’re not allowed to put it on hold for ANYONE, not even staff; if we do, it could result in termination. A customer is making constant comments about having some of this brand on hold. Fed up, my coworkers decide to prank her back because she always asks everyone and gets the newer kids who aren’t familiar with the rule to just bring her out new stuff. I’m not new, but she hasn’t asked or seen me yet, so she thinks I’m new.)

Me: *stacking shelves*

Customer & Friend: “Oh, my God, miss! Miss! We, um, we have some more [Brand] on hold for us in the back; could you go get it?”

Me: *pretending to look concerned* “Ma’am, we aren’t allowed to put that on hold for anyone anymore.”

Customer: “I want it. Could you maybe go get it for me?”

(My manager walks by at the right time.)

Manager: “Oh, wait, [Brand]?” *turning towards me* “So, you’re the one that’s been going in the backroom and giving it to her! That’s it; you’re fired. Get out!”

(I ran to the break room and looked back only once. I saw the woman frantically trying to explain, but to no avail. Needless to say, no matter how badly she wanted the stuff, she never asked anyone to get her her things “on hold in the back” again.)

(I run a private computer store associated with a larger company. We see a lot of customers each day with issues using their cell phones. Many have changed something on the device that they were not aware of, and it requires us to scroll through a number of different settings on the device to troubleshoot. This happens while I am helping a lady who appears to be in her 60s.)

Customer: “Do you by chance have a water fountain?”

Me: “No, but will a bottle of water do?”

(I keep water in our refrigerator for personal use; I usually buy bulk packs of mini bottles. I get a bottle of water from the back room, hand it to her, and bend over to the counter to look closely at the phone settings once again. She starts drinking from the bottle, standing directly opposite me, and basically right on top of me as I check her phone. She then gets some water down the wrong pipe, and does the biggest cough and spit take you have ever seen, showering me, the counter, and her phone. I take it all in stride, clean up what I can with a roll of paper towels we keep behind the counter, and get her taken care of the best I can, and she leaves.)

Coworker: “You have got the be the most composed person I have ever seen! She was shooting water out her nose, even! If it would have been me, I would have told her I had to go home and take a shower after that!”

(I didn’t really need to hear that part. Bonus points: she never said she was sorry!)

Related:
H2-Woah, Part 3
H2-Woah, Part 2
H2-Woah

(I work at the front desk in a hotel.)

Me: “Hello, checking in?”

Guest: “Johnson.” *or something equally as common*

Me: “First name?”

Guest: “Just Johnson.”

Me: “There are multiple Johnsons here, sir; I need to know—”

Guest: “My name is Johnson! Just Johnson! Just look for it. How hard is that?!”

Me: “You know what? Just give me your ID; I need to see it, anyway.”

(From then on, I just ask for ID first.)

Me: *answering phone* “Hello, this is [Store]. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, hello, I need to know about a PS4.”

Me: “Okay, I can help you with that. What do you want to know?”

Customer: *suddenly angry and screaming* “NO! YOU IDIOT! A PS4!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. What would you like to know about a PS4?”

Customer: *suddenly nice again* “Oh! I just need to know how much they are, and if you have them in stock.”

Me: “Well, right now they are [price], but unfortunately we are sold out and will not get any more in until tomorrow morning. I can leave a note to have one held in your name when they come in, though.”

Customer: “What about a PS3?”

Me: “We have several PS3s in stock, and they are only [lower price] right now.”

Customer: “Oh, so, you have PS4s for [lower price]?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, no. We have PS3s for [lower price] and PS4s for [price].”

Customer: *suddenly screaming again* “YOU STUPID IDIOT! YOU ARE SO STUPID! I NEED A PS4! NOT PS3; PS4, YOU IDIOT!”

Me: “Ma’am, I need you to calm down. If you continue to speak to me in that manner I will terminate this call. I am only trying to answer your questions. I’m sorry that I misunderstood your question. Could you please repeat it for me?”

Customer: *calm again* “That’s all right. I need to know the price of a PS3 and a PS4, and if you have them in stock.”

Me: “Okay, PS3s are [lower price] and we have them in stock. PS4s are [higher price] and we are out of stock, but I can take your name to have one held for you when they come in tomorrow morning.”

Customer: “Okay, I will be at the store in about an hour to pick up my PS4.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but if you want a PS4, the soonest we can get it for you will be tomorrow morning, as we have not received them yet.”

Customer: *screaming* “YOU STUPID IDIOT!”

Me: *click*