That Name Is A Gob-Stopper

, , | Right | October 15, 2019

(I work at the call center for a national truck rental company. When people call in to get a quote for a truck, we have to ask for their name and phone number. Most people don’t make a fuss about it, but some get angry.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name].”

Customer: “Hi. I’d like to get a quote for a 17′ truck on Saturday.”

Me: “No problem. Can I get your name?”

Customer: “Willie.”

Me: “And your last name?”

Customer: “Wonka.”

(I start giggling.)

Customer: “I get it; you’ve gotta put something in your boxes.”

(We finish up the rest of the quote. He declines to reserve the truck.)

Me: “Well, sir, this is one of the best calls I’ve gotten in a while. Thanks, and have a good day!”

Customer: “No problem, young lady! And from the chocolate factory, thank you!

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Cold Cold Murder

, , , , | Right | September 18, 2019

(I work at a boat rental. It’s spring. The lake is around 60 degrees, and it’s around 70 degrees.)

Me: “And do you need a swim ladder?”

(Pause.)

Me: “You know, probably not.”

Guy: “Nah, if we throw somebody off, we want to make sure they can’t get back on.”

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Getting You Where You Need

, , , , | Hopeless | August 2, 2019

(Around four months ago, I got the call from my mother that my grandfather had suffered a massive brain aneurysm and was in ICU. She didn’t tell me that they didn’t expect him to live, but I knew from my experience in healthcare that his time was limited. I told my mother I was coming home to see him. The only problem was that I live 1,000 miles away from home. My wife helped me get a rental car so that I could begin the trip. We called a car rental place that had a location at the local airport. The customer service representative for their 1-800 line asked for a credit card to book the car, and I informed her that I only had a debit card. I asked if I could use my wife’s card, and she told me I couldn’t unless my wife was coming with me. She told me that I could use my debit card if necessary, but that a $100 deposit would be placed on my card until I returned the car. I agreed and booked the car. My wife drops me off at the rental place, and my conversation with the location’s customer service representative is as follows:)

CSR: “All right, I have Nissan Altima booked for [MyName]. I just need your ID and the credit card you’ll be using to pay!”

Me: *handing him my ID* “I spoke to a woman over the phone who told me I could use my debit card, but a $100 deposit would be charged to my card.”

CSR: “I’m not sure why you were told that. We don’t even offer the option to use a debit card for in-state drivers.”

(At this point, I begin to cry. I don’t know what I’m going to do to get home before my grandfather passes. I’m a wreck. Before I can decide what needs to happen next, the customer service representative addresses me again.)

CSR: “You look like you really need to get to where you’re going, though, don’t you?”

Me: “Yes. I’m trying to make it to Iowa to see my grandpa in the ICU. I don’t think he’s going to make it.”

CSR: *nodding* “I’m going to do an override. I do have to place a $250 hold on the account, though, because the transaction will be considered high-risk. Is that okay?”

Me: “Yes! Thank you so much!”

CSR: “Travel safe!”

(I sign the paperwork, get in the car, and begin my 17-hour drive. When I return the car to the rental place near the hospital, I ask the representative when the deposit will be returned to my account.)

CSR: “Oh. There’s no deposit on your account. You’re good to go!”

(It warmed my heart that the man in Maryland was so willing to help me in such a trying time. I made to the hospital in time to see my grandpa before he was too sick to speak to us, and got to be with him while he took his final breath, all thanks to this man’s kindness. Rental care employee, you made me feel that it’s not always hopeless.)

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Is Your Cousin’s Mom Betty White?

, , , , , , | Related | June 24, 2019

(A second cousin of mine told me this story. She’s renting a car.)

Agent: “What brings you to Missouri?”

Cousin: “I’m here to celebrate my mother’s 90th birthday.”

Agent: “In that case, why don’t you upgrade to a nicer car? Think how happy your mother would be if you took her for a ride.”

Cousin: “Thanks, but if my mom wanted to go for a ride, she’d have her boyfriend take her out in his convertible.”

(She wasn’t kidding.)

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Mommy’s Little Driver

, , , | Right | February 14, 2019

(I work in billing for a car rental company and get a lot of outrageous customers. A customer is supposed to return the rental car on a specific date, and conveniently it is stolen on the same day. They are complaining that they were charged a fee for the car being stolen.)

Customer: “I don’t want to pay this fee, and I want you to refund it.”

Me: “I can’t do that, because while the car is in your possession, it is your responsibility to make sure nothing happens to it, and since it was stolen, you need to pay the fee.”

(Keep in mind this customer is in their mid-fifties.)

Customer: “This is outrageous! Wait until I tell my mom!”

Me: *long pause* “Did you just say you’re going to tell your mom?”

Customer: *ignores me and proceeds to complain for a few more minutes, then gives up and hangs up*

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