A customer is signing out a car he has rented from our site at the airport. As he is signing the insurance paperwork, I feel I have to mention something. Normally, I wouldn’t, but since it’s a Saint Patrick’s Day weekend, our town is known for partying, and the customer is wearing a big green “Kiss me! I’m Irish!” shirt, I feel compelled to.

Me: “Sir, just to let you know, the insurance is void if any damage comes to the car while you’ve got any trace of alcohol in your system — and I do mean ‘any’. Some people think you need to be intoxicated, but the insurance paperwork makes it quite clear that you can’t have any in your system at all.”

Customer: *Not looking up, still signing forms* “Okay, so, just the one whiskey, then.”

Me: “Sir, obviously you can drink what you want, but I just need to let you know that if you do drink and drive, the insurance no longer covers you.”

Customer: *Still not looking up* “Okay, so, no whiskey, then, just a couple of shots.”

Is he toying with me?

Me: “I’m afraid that will still count, sir.”

Customer: *Handing over all the signed forms* “Fine, just some beers, then.”

Me: “Have a good weekend, sir.”

Customer: “I will have a good weekend because, unlike most of the fake posers in this city, I actually am descended from Irish immigrants. I can handle my liquor! It’s in my blood!”

Me: “Which is exactly the thing that would invalidate the insurance. Please have a safe and responsible weekend!”

Customer: “You wouldn’t know; you’re Black. You guys can’t hold down your liquor like you can’t hold down jobs.”

Me: “Okay… that was uncalled for. Your car is in bay forty-one. Goodbye.”

The customer smirked and rushed off.

Guess who came back on Monday looking terrible and smelling of booze? And guess who had scratched the car on the side so badly that it actually looked like it had been done on purpose? And guess who couldn’t get us to cover the insurance on it because they seemed so intoxicated we actually had to call the police because we’d no doubt just witnessed an obvious DUI?

And guess who said, “I guess I’m holding down my job better than you’re holding down your liquor,” as they were told just how expensive the repair bill was likely to be?

Customer: “Do we have to pay more if we don’t return the car?”

Me: “You mean… keep it?”

Customer: “Yes.” 

Me: “Yes… you’re gonna get extra charges if you don’t return the car…”

I was a recently admitted attorney, twenty-six years old, and looking at least five years younger, even in a suit. I needed to rent a car, so I headed to an agency. It was Saturday, and I was wearing a T-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. I talked to the agent and found a car I liked at a price that I could afford. The agent filled out a contract and handed it to me to sign, and I sat down and began reading it.

Agent: *Laughing at me* “What are you, a lawyer or something?”

Still reading, I took out my wallet and handed him my business card. He sat very quietly for the rest of the time it took me to read (very carefully) and sign.

I work at a museum in a city, and most of the time, I use public transportation. Once, on one of my days off, I rented a car to go on a day trip. The salesman was friendly and helpful as he got me signed in.

Rental Salesman: “Okay, here is your key fob. When you leave this office, you’re going to go straight and then make a U-turn to go down the escalator. As soon as you reach the bottom, go straight. The first five rows will have cars from [Other Company], but if you keep going, you’ll find [Company] cars. Your car should be in the first row, but it might be further back. If you press this button on the key fob, the car will unlock and you can find it because the lights will flash.”

He said it all in a very straightforward, matter-of-fact voice, but I was a little bemused. Did I really look so dumb that I wouldn’t understand how keyless entry works? But I thanked him and went on my way.

After my trip, I went back to work. At one point, a visitor approached me and asked where the bathroom was. Our complex was made up of three buildings, but due to the historic nature of the site, only one had public bathrooms, which weren’t visible from where we were standing. Still, they were only about twenty to thirty feet away.

Me: “Go straight down this hallway and leave this building, and then take a sharp right. You’ll see the doors to the bathrooms on the outside of the next building.”

The visitor walked to the end of the hallway, looked around, and stopped in the open doorway. She turned back.

Visitor: “I don’t see them.”

Me: “Go outside, and they’re on the right.”

She stepped over the threshold, looked around again, and started walking toward the building on the left. I sighed and went after her.

It wasn’t the first time something like that happened, nor was it the last, and I silently apologized to the rental salesman for taking offense. It’s not personal; it’s just dealing with customers.

I caught a late flight one night and wound up at the rental car area. I had about a two-hour drive to my destination and work to do the next day. I was also dressed for business, which I find helps enormously in these situations.

The guy in front of me and his wife apparently had the biggest crisis of their lives in that line. I wasn’t really clear about what was happening, but it seemed like their reservation was lost, or they were dissatisfied, or something. It took a good fifteen or twenty minutes before they stomped off in a huff and I made it to the desk.

The lady at the counter and I shared a look of mutual exhaustion before I promptly gave her my name, license, and credit card. After she processed the rental, she gave me the keys and said, “Drive safely!” with a clear undertone of “Don’t get caught!”

I figured out what she meant when I got to the stall and found the brand-new Mustang she had spontaneously upgraded me to.

Little did she know, I drive like an old lady, but it’s little gestures like that that give me some hope for the world.