(I work in a library.)

Customer: “You! Question!”

Me: “Yes, sir?”

(The customer gestures at the public computers in the middle of the room.)

Customer: “Why is it people who want to play stupid Internet games for an hour get to sit in plush comfort, while those of us who want to use the library services have to stand?”

Me: “I’m not sure what you mean.”

(The customer points to the far end of the room, where a catalogue-only computer is on a high desk, with no chair.)

Customer: *increasingly loudly* “I want to look up books, which is what this place is here for, and I am forced to stand to do so, while anyone who wants to waste library resources gets to sit in plush comfort.”

Me: “I see. Well, there’s two catalogue computers next to the photocopier; those have chairs if you’d like to sit down while you look up your books.”

Customer: “I am not wasting library resources, unlike everyone else in here.”

Me: “Of course. Also, the catalogue is Internet-based, so you can really use any of the computers to look up books, but you’ll need to log in with your library card.”

Customer: “I need to log in to use a chair?“

Me: “Not if you use the catalogues next to the photocopier.”

(The customer glares at me for a moment, then turns to leave. He stops at the door, turns back toward me, and points at me, scowling.)

Customer: “PLUSH COMFORT!”

Customer #2: “…what?”

Me: “I have no idea.”

(I work in the electronics department of a popular department store. While I am explaining to a couple the differences in our prepaid mobile phone carriers and plans, this question crops up.)

Customer: “So… what carrier is Verizon with?”

(I work as a supervisor for an electric company call center. I’m a woman, although my voice sounds very deep to the point where most customers think I am a man, especially over the phone. This doesn’t typically bother me. I am on a supervisor call correcting a billing mistake — these calls always have to go to a supervisor. The customer speaks very good English to me, but rants in German to somebody in the room with him that I am actually helping him because I am a “man,” and various other misogynistic comments about how women don’t belong in the workplace, are inept, etc. He doesn’t realize I speak German and understand everything he says.)

Me: *still in English* “Okay, you are all set; you’ll see an adjustment on your next bill and you can simply pay the corrected balance at your earliest convenience.”

Customer: “Thank you very much, sir. You have helped me incredibly.”

Me: *in German* “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

(I hear a gasp on the line.)

Me: *still in German* “Well, as a supervisor, I’m glad I had the opportunity to satisfy your concerns. Again, my name is Frau [Surname], and thank you for calling [Electric Company].”

This story is part of our Women’s Equality Day roundup!

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(I work in a local bicycle shop. We sell bicycles, parts, and service, but do not buy from the public. We get the following phone call at least once daily.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [Shop]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Do y’all buy bikes?”

Me: “No, we don’t, sorry. You might try posting on Craigslist or eBay.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I have a [year] [Model]. How much is that worth?”

Me: “I’m not sure. We usually just look them up on Craigslist or eBay to see what they sell for locally.”

Customer: “So, how much can I get for it?”

Me: “Let me just Google that for you.”

Customer: *uncomfortable silence*

Me: “…”

Customer: *recording* “We’re sorry, but the number you have dialed is no longer…”

(Our store’s bathrooms are closed for renovations. However, one of our neighboring stores has allowed our customers to use their restrooms until we are finished. One day, I notice a customer trying to get into our bathrooms, despite signs clearly explaining our current situation.)

Customer: “Why the hell are your bathrooms locked?! I need to take a p**s!”

(I am a bit irritated at her sudden anger, but I try my best to remain calm and polite.)

Me: “Our restrooms are currently being renovated. However, [Store next to us] is allowing our customers to use their restroom.”

Customer: “F*** you! I need to p**s! I’m not walking all the way over there!”

Me: “Ma’am, our bathrooms are being renovated. They do not even have sinks yet. We would be happy to hold your items at the front while you go next door. It is not a very long walk.”

(We argue back and forth for several minutes. I even show her the bathrooms in an attempt to prove my point. After nearly five minutes, I manage to calm her down a bit.)

Me: “Would you like me to hold your stuff at the front?”

Customer: “No. I want to finish shopping first. I’m already over here.”

(She ended up taking some clothes into the dressing room to try a few items on. However, after a minute or two, I saw liquid leaking from under the curtain. Since there was only a curtain, not a locking door, I checked on her just to be sure. Upon opening the curtain, I was greeted by a horrible sight. She had taken off her pants and was squatting over a pile of clothes, including some of our most expensive items, and relieving herself, both #1 and #2. Even after I opened the curtain, she continued peeing at full force for nearly a minute. I was only able to stand there in disgust and horror. Upon finishing, she stood up, wiped herself with yet another article of clothing, and pulled up her pants, all while maintaining eye contact with me. I managed to call security before she left, and she ended up paying for the damage and being banned from our store, but not before she blamed our store for what had happened.)