Plush With Discomfort

(I work in a library.)

Customer: “You! Question!”

Me: “Yes, sir?”

(The customer gestures at the public computers in the middle of the room.)

Customer: “Why is it people who want to play stupid Internet games for an hour get to sit in plush comfort, while those of us who want to use the library services have to stand?”

Me: “I’m not sure what you mean.”

(The customer points to the far end of the room, where a catalogue-only computer is on a high desk, with no chair.)

Customer: *increasingly loudly* “I want to look up books, which is what this place is here for, and I am forced to stand to do so, while anyone who wants to waste library resources gets to sit in plush comfort.”

Me: “I see. Well, there’s two catalogue computers next to the photocopier; those have chairs if you’d like to sit down while you look up your books.”

Customer: “I am not wasting library resources, unlike everyone else in here.”

Me: “Of course. Also, the catalogue is Internet-based, so you can really use any of the computers to look up books, but you’ll need to log in with your library card.”

Customer: “I need to log in to use a chair?“

Me: “Not if you use the catalogues next to the photocopier.”

(The customer glares at me for a moment, then turns to leave. He stops at the door, turns back toward me, and points at me, scowling.)

Customer: “PLUSH COMFORT!”

Customer #2: “…what?”

Me: “I have no idea.”