(I am talking to [Customer #1] about a shoe we don’t have in stock when I am interrupted by a second customer.)

Customer #2: “Do you have this shoe in 7.5?”

Me: *scans* “No, ma’am, we have a 7 and 8; would you want to try that?”

Customer #2: “I need 7.5.”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, we only have 7 and 8.”

Customer #2: “I need 7.5.”

Me: “I don’t have that; would you like to try size 7?”

Customer #2: “Okay, I will try 7.5.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t have 7.5; I have a 7 or 8, no 7.5.”

Customer #2: “You don’t have 7.5?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I don’t.”

Customer #2: “Okay.” *walks away*

Customer #1: *looks at me* “Did that really just happen?”

(I work in a movie theatre. It is reasonably busy today, and we have three lines operating: a line for just tickets where I am the cashier, a line for online pre-bookings, and a line for tickets and candy bar. The line for just tickets is significantly shorter than the other two.)

Customer: “Hi! I’d like one ticket to [Movie].”

Me: “Here you go; you’ll be in [cinema]. Have a nice day.”

Customer: *in hushed tones* “Dear, would I also be able to have a small Coke Zero?”

Me: “I’m afraid you will have to queue in the line on the far side.” *gesturing*

Customer: “But it’s so long!”

Me: “I know, but all those people over there are also wanting tickets and candy bar. It would be unfair to serve you before them, from the incorrect line.”

(She disappears, and I serve the few people left in the queue. Then I go to assist with the candy bar and online pre-bookings queues. I notice she has stepped in the front of the online bookings queue, which has also thinned out, to have a go with another cashier. I intercept.)

Me: *leaning over the counter near the online pre-bookings queue* “Hi, was it just the small Coke Zero?”

Customer: *she thinks she’s hit the jackpot, and smiles gleefully* “Yes, just the Coke, no ice.”

Me: “Great, just in the candy bar queue there. Thanks.”

(She finally moved into the correct queue, grumbling.)

(I work in a small store that sells kitchen accessories as well as both kitchen and sporting knives. There are usually two people in at a time so we have the chance to sit in the backroom and eat our lunch without being disturbed. My coworker has just gone for her lunch when a customer comes in.)

Me: “Hello, is there anything I can help you find today?”

Customer: “No, I know what I want. I want this sporting knife by [Brand]. I have done my research and I’m set on this one.”

Me: “Okay. Let me just grab it for you and I will bring it up to the till.”

(I grab the knife for the customer and ring her through.)

Me: “That will be $135.76; will that be everything for you?”

Customer: “That is way too expensive. Can you discount the price for me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but unless the knife is damaged I can’t reduce the price.”

Customer: “Yeah, let’s do that!”

Me: “Do what?”

Customer: “Discount the price.”

Me: “I can’t do that, ma’am; the item is not damaged so I can not offer a discount.”

(At this point my coworker comes out and grabs her water, then goes back into the backroom.)

Customer: “Oh, if I had known she was working today, I would have just asked for her to help me. She always gives me a discount, because we know each other; she always gives me half off.”

(I know she is lying because she just “suddenly” remembered that my coworker gives her discounts, and the most we can give is 20% off to a customer; if we give any more than 50% off an item that isn’t marked down as 50%, we get locked out of the system and can not log in unless a manager is contacted, and we have to explain why we were issuing a 50% discount on an item that isn’t on sale.)

Me: “Don’t stand there and lie to my face. My coworker and I work every shift together because we are more productive as a team, and ever since we have worked together we have never seen you in here before. But if you would like, I can go grab my coworker and you can tell me again how you know each other and how she always gives you a discount.”

Customer: “I can’t believe you treat your customers like this. Give me a business card; I’m going to be calling your manager and corporate to tell them your attitude is horrendous!”

Me: *puts a business card on the counter* “Feel free, and you can also tell them how you lied to me about knowing my coworker, just so you wouldn’t have to pay full price on an item. Have a nice day, and thank you for shopping with [Company].”

(She never called my manager or corporate, but according to my manager she came in two other times with my other coworkers and tried to pull the same thing. We have her picture up in our backroom, and are told to refuse her service.)

(I work the front desk of a small pet day care and boarding facility. Most of the dogs who are dropped off for “dog day care” are regulars, and are pretty comfortable and used to everything. Sometimes people who have a puppy or their first dog can be more nervous, and they want to make sure their dog is okay and will call during the day to check up on their pet. This is the fourth time today that this particular woman has called to check up on her dog.)

Me: *answering phone* “Hello, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, this is [Customer] again.”

Me: “Hi, [Customer]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I am calling to check up on [Dog] again because I am a crazy dog mom!“

(I work alone at the customer service counter, which is on the same elevated platform as the pharmacy. There is a sign with giant letters well over 12 inches tall and wide with the customer service department name over my head, and an identical one over the pharmacy windows. My counter is closer to the middle of the store, while the pharmacy’s main window is on the far right wall, since they have a drive-thru. The pharmacy always has at least two people working, several computers, and shelves upon shelves of prescription medicine, along with the higher strength cold and allergy medicine they hold behind the counter. The customer service counter is only big enough for one person, and it has a lottery machine, scratch-off tickets, a terminal for sending and receiving money, and a postal scale. There’s nothing behind me but a single computer and shelves filled with binders and store supplies. But people don’t pay attention to my surroundings, or the three places it says, “Customer Service,” and they just assume I’m the pharmacy since it’s elevated.)

Customer #1: “I need [OTC Medicine].”

Me: “Oh, sorry, you want the pharmacy. It’s—”

Customer #1: *suddenly pissed* “Isn’t this the pharmacy!?”

Me: *looks over at my lottery machine, postal calculator, and bookkeeping binders* “No. No, it’s not.”

Customer #1: *stalks down to the next window*

(Later that day:)

Customer #2: “Hi, I have this rash, and I’m wondering what you’d recommend—”

Me: “Wait, you want the pharmacy; it’s the far window.”

Customer #2: “I know, but the line is long; can’t you just tell me what I should take?”

Me: “I can’t recommend treatment. I’m sorry.”

Customer #2: “Can’t or won’t? It’s not that hard!”

Me: “So, when you go to a bank, do you ask the security guard to manage your account if the tellers have lines?”

(And the next day I work:)

Customer #3: *says absolutely nothing, just puts down a small scrap of notebook paper with some barely legible numbers on it*

Me: “What is this?”

Customer #3: *stares at me, confused, and just silently points to the scrap paper*

Me: “Sir, what is this for?”

Customer #3: *even more confused, silently puts his finger on the paper again, nudging it closer*

Me: *trying to figure it out, noticing the numbers seem to be in groups of five* “Is this lottery? Money orders?”

Customer #3: *in a barely audible voice* “…prescriptions.”

Me: *a little exasperated* “The pharmacy is the far window; this is customer service.”

Customer #3: *steps back, reads the sign with the twelve-inch letters that say, “Customer Service,” takes his shred of notebook paper, and drifts down the aisle*

(My manager walked in some time during that exchange, and he steps up after the customer has left.)

Manager: “So… this isn’t the pharmacy?”