(I’m at work and the store is about to close in fifteen minutes. I have this couple come to my till a few minutes before closing.)

Me: “Hi! All ready to check out?”

(I start scanning items.)

Wife: “Uh… Wait, my husband’s cart got stolen.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I start checking out the other customers. The wife returns with her husband and his cart with over A THOUSAND ITEMS.)

Me: “…” *begins checking them out*

Couple: *argues over which frame to buy*

(I was the only cashier on the floor along with my supervisor. They left fifty minutes AFTER the store had ALREADY closed.)

(The store I work in is a bulk foods grocery store. We have two types of clientele: general retail and wholesale — customers who order freight deliveries from our warehouse.The customer I’m dealing with fits into the latter category.)

Me: “Good morning, ma’am! Finding everything you need today?”

Customer: “No… I forgot to order a delivery this week and I’m almost out of a lot of supplies, so here I am.”

Me: “Let’s a take a look at your list and we’ll see what we can come up with, okay?”

(We spend the next half-hour or so going through her shopping list and, as is expected, most of the items she normally orders out of the warehouse are not carried by the store, so I help her find comparable items. The customer is becoming increasingly frazzled as we go on, but is maintaining her composure. Finally, we reach the end of the list.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, looks like you’re all set. Anything else I can do for you?”

Customer: *obviously holding back anger* “No, but I guess this will have to do, won’t it?!”

(I apologize profusely and again offer some assistance, as I’m expecting her to start screaming at any moment.)

Me: “Again, I’m terribly sorry, ma’am.”

Customer: *takes a breath* “Don’t be. It’s my own d*** fault. This is what I get for not putting in an order in time. I knew I had to do it this weekend, and I put it off. Oh well.”

Me: *slightly taken aback* “Oh, uh… Well, hopefully it all works out in the end for you. Have a great day!”

(I head back to the stock room to finish my morning tasks. My shock must be obvious because my coworker gives me a concerned look.)

Coworker: “[My Name], are you okay?”

Me: “No. I think I’m in The Twilight Zone.”

Coworker: “What just happened?”

(I relay the story to my coworker who looks just as shocked as I feel.)

Coworker: “There’s no way that happened.”

Me: “A customer actually owning up to their own mistakes. Hell, I wouldn’t believe if I hadn’t just seen it.”

(Our store has a credit card, and you get a coupon when you open one with us. It works on anything, but only for one day. A lady comes up to me with UGGs — almost always excluded from coupons — and this happens:)

Customer: “I’d like to buy these with my coupon, but if I need to return them, how can I get my coupon back?”

Me: “Well, none of the coupons we have available today work on UGGs, but if you’re referring to our rewards discounts, those are treated like cash for your card and would be refunded.”

Customer: “No, I have a coupon; it’ll work on anything, even makeup!”

Me: “I mean, if you show me your coupon I can try, but no promises.”

Customer: “It’ll work. I got it for opening up an account and never used it.”

(Sure enough, it is the old coupon for opening the account, so I give in and try.)

Me: “Okay, since this is for opening an account, it should work; I’ll try it and see.”

Customer: “It does work; I used it on another pair of UGGs before.”

Me: *pause* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: *catching her slip up* “Oh! I mean they sent me two… but, uh, if I return these, how will I get my discount back?

Me: “I can make a note on the receipt that if that’s the case that you’re to get the discount for that day, instead, since this is all you’re buying today, but I’ll still have to mark the coupon for use.”

Customer: “What? I don’t want them, then, if you’re going to mark the coupon.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “No one’s ever marked it before.”

Me: *I stare at her as she now admits to using it before* “Well, they’re supposed to.”

Customer: “But they don’t, so you are?”

Me: “Well, yeah. I have to.”

Customer: *in a huff, grabbing the coupon from my hands* “Then I’m just going to come in another day!”

(Of course, the next day, when I wasn’t working, the shoes were sold.)

(I work at a store in the electronics department. In our store, some of the products are displayed in display counters arranged in a near complete oval shape, with a walk space in the center where workers can talk to customers about the product, and a register near the entrance. A customer leans over the part of the counter that displays the digital cameras.)

Customer: “Excuse me, miss. Can you help me?”

Me: *turns around to face the customer* “Yes, sir. What can I do for you?”

Customer: “Can you point me to where y’all sell the digital cameras?”

(I look down at the cameras that we are both standing over, look back at customer, and then point down.)

Customer: *looks down* “Oh.”

Me: “If it were a snake, it would have bitten you.”

Customer: “It sure would have.”

(After making the sale, the customer thanked me for embarrassing him as gently as I did, but told me I shouldn’t have been so gentle because it was funny and would have taught him to pay attention to his surroundings.)

(Due to family issues, I moved around every few years when I was younger so I don’t really sound like I’m from anywhere. Over the years, I’ve watched a lot of American and Canadian shows and I have a fair few American friends, so sometimes I can unintentionally talk with an American twang. Customers often ask where I’m from and are very surprised when I tell them the UK. I try my best to smile about it but I can often get very self-conscious about how I’m talking.)

Me: “Hello there. How can I help?”

Customer: *looking at me suspiciously* “Yeah… Can I have a popcorn combo?”

Me: “Regular or large?”

Customer: “I want someone else to serve me.”

Me: *panicking that I’ve accidentally insulted him in some way* “I’m sorry; is there a problem?”

Customer: “Your voice is too weird. I don’t want you serving me.”

Me: “Too weird?”

Customer: “I want someone else to serve me.”

Me: “Are you having trouble understanding me? I’m sorry. I’ve been told I can be hard to understand sometimes.”

Customer: “Just get someone over here who talks normal so I can get my d*** popcorn.”

(I am the only person on this area, so there is no one else to serve him, and we’ve got a popular film about to go in so we’re expecting a rush any minute.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. The only other place you can be served by someone else is over there.” *pointing to nearby area that also serves everything I do*

Customer: *angrily* “F***’s sake! Just get me my food, and don’t talk to me while you do it!”

(I’ve had enough and honestly don’t feel like talking anymore at this point, so I just finish the transaction as quickly as I can and in silence.)

Customer: *having paid* “Get yourself one of those d*** speech therapists!” *storms off*