I am a tech who works in different venues on a cruise ship doing lights, sound, and audio. A fellow crew member and I are killing time before an event in a venue, and we’re talking about Canada (where I’m from). [Crew Member] is from India.

Crew Member: “Why are Canadians so nice? Is it taught in school?”

Me: “Nope, not taught in school, but there is one thing in Canada that isn’t nice.”

Crew Member: “Oh? What?”

Me: “Cobra Chickens, also known as Canadian geese. Once a year, we as a nation do a chant and put all our hate and negativity into them, which is why they are mean.”

A guest has come into our closed venue and is listening in on the conversation.

Guest: “Why would you do that? You are torturing those poor birds! I’m never going to Canada! It’s full of witchcraft!”

Without me getting to say anything, she stormed out of the venue, leaving both of us trying to figure out what had just happened. She did try to make a complaint to the ship, but as it was a Canadian issue and not a ship issue, it was ignored.

I have an aunt who is very opinionated. She loves to give what she calls “advice”, but it’s more like decrees; she just states, “You will do this”. Arguing with her or telling her no is a recipe for frustration. She is stubborn and will not give an inch, and she’s a lawyer ,so she’s actually relatively skilled at talking you in circles and making you think you’ve “lost” the argument.

Many years ago, my then-fiancé and I were meeting up with my extended family to celebrate one of my cousins. [Fiancé] would be meeting [Aunt] for the first time.

At the time, we were shopping for our first home. Not long after we got there, [Aunt] cornered me, and I started to get some “advice” about where we should live.

Aunt: “You guys have to get a place in [Area #1]. It’s up and coming, and it’s near a lot of good shops and restaurants. It’s really the only option.”

Me: “Actually, we found a place we think we are going to put an offer on. It’s over in [Area #2]; it’s closer to my work, and we get more house for our money. We are actually meeting the realtor over there after this for one last look before we pull the trigger.”

Aunt: “Oh, no. [Area #1] is much better. Go set up some appointments there instead.”

At that point, [Fiancé] noticed [Aunt] talking to me and came to join us.

Fiancé: “Hey, how’s it going? What are y’all talking about?”

Aunt: “We were just talking about how you guys have to get a house in [Area #1] rather than [Area #2].”

Fiancé: “Yeah, that sounds like a great idea.”

Aunt: “And make sure that it has [feature] and is zoned to [School].”

Fiancé: “Sure thing.”

My aunt, now feeling accomplished, moved on to talk to someone else, and I turned to [Fiancé], a little irritated.

Me: “What was that? None of that was what we were thinking for the house!”

Fiancé: “Oh, I know. None of that’s changed. There was just no point arguing with her. We can do whatever we want and don’t need to convince her of anything. I still want to put an offer on that one we are seeing this afternoon.”

The rest of the party went great, and we put an offer on the house we wanted later that day.

To be honest, it’s been the most effective way anyone in my family has to deal with my aunt now. Whenever she gives a decree, people just nod along and then do whatever they want anyway.

I work for a store with the word “pet” in the name. We have a competitor who has a similar name, also with “pet” at the beginning. One day, a woman comes in and brings about $300 in merchandise to the register.

Me: “Will that be cash or card?”

Customer: “I have a gift card.”

Me: “Okay, go ahead and swipe it.”

The system rejects the payment: “ACTION NOT PERMITTED”. I’ve never seen this rejection before.

Me: “Weird. Do you want to try again?”

Customer: “My friend just gave this to me. I don’t know why it’s not working. Can I do it again?”

Me: “Sure.”

It gets rejected again. I’m very confused.

Customer: “What is wrong with your system?”

She begins waving the card around, and I see something.

Customer: “Every time I go to [My Store], there’s an issue. That’s why I’m here with you instead. Are you going to be difficult, too?”

Me: “Can I see the card?”

Customer: *Rolls her eyes* “Okay, sure. Take a look and fix it with your magical retail skills.”

She tosses the card at me. I pick it up off the floor and see the issue.

Me: “Oh. This is for [Competitor].”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “We’re in [My Store].”

Customer: “No, Google said [Competitor] was here.”

Me: “I… don’t think so. There’s one two exits south on the highway but—”

Customer: “No! I am telling you that Google says this is [Competitor].”

Me: “Well… it’s not.”

I point to the logo on my shirt and the gigantic wall design with the store name.

Customer: “Why would Google mislead me?

Me: “I’m not sure, ma’am. What is the address you’re looking for?”

Customer: “[Competitor’s address].”

Me: “Right, that’s two exits south on the highway.”

Customer: “Oh, my God. I am going to rain all over your Yelp page. I have connections you could only dream of having. Wait until I bring your rating to a single star.”

Me: “Okay. Have a nice day.”

I kept watching our Yelp page as well as our nearby competitor’s, but nothing came through.

After a few weeks, I checked the page for the competitor again, and sure enough, there she was.

Customer: “[My Name] at [Competitor] was an absolute b**** about my gift card. She insisted that she worked at [My Store] and I was in the wrong place. The level of entitlement of today’s youth is disgusting!”

I felt bad, so I reached out to the manager at our competitor and explained everything. He thanked me for the clarification — they don’t have anyone with my name working there — and told me not to worry about it. If she reached out to their corporate office, he would explain what really happened.

Related:
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 32
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 31
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 30
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 29
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 28

My wife and I were running a couple of errands on my day off and, as is customary being humans who are alive and possessing functioning stomachs, we got hungry.

I took a quick detour to a well-known Chinese food chain because I was in the mood for some orange chicken, and my wife wanted teriyaki chicken. My wife stayed in the car while I ran in to grab the food. There weren’t very many people inside, and I was like, “Sweet! I should be in and out of here pretty quick.”

There was a couple in front of me who looked like they were in their early twenties and a man ahead of them who looked like he was in his late twenties. The two guys ordered their food without incident.

Now, when the girl ordered her food, I noticed that she happened to be ordering the exact same thing I wanted to order for my wife: teriyaki chicken. Crazy, I know.

When the staff member asked me what I wanted, I started by asking for the teriyaki chicken for my wife. Before I could order the orange chicken for myself, the girl, hearing what I had ordered, looked back at me with the most disgusted look on her face and interrupted.

Girl: “I have a boyfriend, you creep. Are you trying to get with me or something?”

Before I could even get a word in edgewise, she walked off in a huff to join her boyfriend at the till. She continued to glare at me once or twice while her boyfriend rolled his eyes and finished paying.

The staff member and I looked at each other thinking, “Did she really just say that?”

Staff Member: “I’ll give you a little extra.”

Me: “Thanks. My wife will really appreciate that. Can I get an order of orange chicken, too, for myself?”

A man and a woman stroll into the restaurant, completely ignoring our host, who is standing next to our “Please wait to be seated” sign literally two feet away from the entrance. Our host is finishing up a transaction with another customer, so she can’t stop them before they breeze past.

We have many clean open tables abound, and all but one of the booths are occupied, but because customers have booth obsessions, they walk over to the newly vacated — the seats are still warm — booth and proceed to “bus” the dirty table by taking all the dirty items and putting them on a clean table.

I hurry over and try in vain to get them to stop.

Me: “Please, leave that to me and our bussers!”

They stop for a second, look right at me, and then still proceed to plop the stuff down on the clean table AND SIT DOWN IN THE BOOTH!

My passive-aggressive inclination is to walk away and let them sit at that dirty booth and ignore them. But, alas, it wouldn’t be fair to subject the other diners to any drama. So, as I get to them, I say:

Me: “Please don’t put dirty items on a clean table!”

Customer: *In an overly loud and offended manner* “Well! Sorry! No one else was doing it!”

They were in my station, but I had a coworker pick them up. I did make a big show of grabbing the stuff off the table and making another trip with a clean towel to clean the affected area.

The man was embarrassedly silent and kept his head down while all this was going on.