We Feel Bad For The Employee, But We Feel Worse For The Dog
I work in a hotel. Last night, I was out for dinner with my folks, having a grand old time, when I got a text from the hotel’s owner warning me that the woman in room 206 had been a pain in the a** about the pet fee and that she probably would argue with me about it in the morning. Cool. I always want to come back to work to a headache. Honestly, though, I’m glad for the warning.
Around 10:30 this morning, a woman came to the desk and asked about breakfast. I apologized and told her it had ended earlier. She said okay, and then she went and tried to go into the breakfast room anyway. The door was locked, so she came back and asked if she could have anything from breakfast.
Me: “I’m sorry again, ma’am, but breakfast is over. Everything has already been cleaned up and put away.”
She grumbled and walked away. Then, she came back.
Guest: “My friend came down earlier to try to grab breakfast for me, but it was so poorly stocked that she wasn’t able to get me anything. So, can I have some breakfast?”
Me: “I’m sorry again, ma’am. I wish your friend had told me. I was quite busy this morning and wasn’t able to check breakfast super often, so it may have gotten a bit sparse at some points, but if she had let me know, I would have been happy to restock whatever was empty. But again, breakfast is over, so unfortunately, I can’t help you.”
She grumbled some more and left to go complain with her friend who I had seen go and get breakfast earlier. Then, she came back again.
Guest: “Can I confirm that I’m down for a late checkout?”
I asked for her room number, and wouldn’t you know it, it was 206.
Me: “Yes, you’re down for a twelve-o’clock checkout.”
Guest: “I was told I could have later than noon checkout.”
Me: *Politely* “We do not offer checkouts past 12:00.”
Guest: *Insisting* “I was told I could have more time!”
Me: “We do not offer checkouts past 12:00, and there are no notes indicating any exceptions being made.”
She argued with me some more, asked if I was in the military and if that was why I followed all the rules, and made some other dumb comments before she finally gave up.
Guest: “I might want to stay another day. How much would that cost?”
I gave her a quote.
Me: “We would need payment by 12:00 if you want to stay again tonight.”
Guest: “Okay.”
At some point after 11:00, we got a call from an online travel agency.
Travel Agency: “If someone who is in-house makes a new reservation, can they stay in the same room? They’re in room 206.”
Me: “Of course, that’s no problem at all.”
Then, 12:15 rolled around. We didn’t have payment or a reservation yet, so the owner called the room to ask about the guest’s status.
Guest: “I’m working on the reservation. There was just an issue with the bank.”
Sure, of course, there is.
Owner: “Okay, we can give you until 12:30.”
He then left because he had originally only stopped by to drop off some items for tomorrow’s breakfast.
At 12:25, the phone rang.
Guest: “I’m still having trouble making the reservation. Could I have until 1:00 pm?”
Me: “I need payment by 12:30. Otherwise, you will have to check out and then check back in when we get the new reservation.”
Guest: “Why can’t you give me a break?!”
Me: “Ma’am, I told you before that you needed to pay by 12:00. It is now almost 12:30. This is your break.”
At that point, she angrily hung up on me.
A few minutes later, she called again.
Guest: “My friend is a very important travel agent for [Major Credit Card Company], and she will be reaching out to [Brand I work for]!”
Me: “That’s fine, ma’am. I’ve already explained your options to you.”
She angrily hung up again.
A few minutes later, she came down to the desk with an agent from [Online Travel Agency] on speakerphone for some reason, arguing with her and telling me about how the representative was from Guatemala. I had to explain to her why she had to give the representative her credit card number if she wanted to reserve with them.
She left the lobby again. A little while later, I saw the reservation pop up on the computer, and she came to the desk.
Me: “Can I have your credit card, please?”
Guest: “What do you need it for?”
Me: “You have only given your card to reserve the room. I need the card to charge it.”
Guest: *Groaning* “This is what I’ve been trying to say! It won’t go through.”
Me: *Staring at her incredulously* “I need payment for the room.”
Like, what was the plan here? Both the [Online Travel Agency] agent and I had explained to her when she was on speakerphone that she would have to pay after the hotel got the reservation.
Guest: “Can I pay with cash? I just need to run to the ATM.”
I begrudgingly offered her ten minutes because I just wanted the situation to be over. She’d drained my patience and was using the fumes in the reserve tank.
She kept yapping at me about something instead of leaving to get the money, and I quite bluntly told her that I wasn’t sure what she wasn’t understanding. Obviously, she would have to pay.
She got irate, said that, obviously, she was “estupido”, and then said something about Guatemala — not the country but referring to the travel agency representative as “Guatemala”. I don’t remember what exactly it was, but it was rude and b****y and racist enough that it sapped up the last of the patience fumes.
Me: “All right, we’re done. You need to leave.”
Guest: “I’m not leaving!”
Me: “If you don’t leave on your own, I’ll call the police.”
Guest: “Call them!”
So, I did. I called the non-emergency number and explained to the dispatcher that I needed an officer there for an eviction and trespass. The entire time, the woman was trying to talk over me or to me, and I ignored her.
After that, I got to spend the next half-hour with her in the lobby calling her friend to complain about me. (She left a message; her friend did not answer the phone.)
Then, she called me a b**** and a [homophobic slur]. I’ll give her credit, though: she never called me fat, which most people do when they’re mad at me and list out all the things they think I’m insecure about.
Guest: “I feel sorry for you that you have such a sad life. It was so unnecessary for you to call the police! I hope they send a cute officer. I can’t wait until the police get here! I wonder what lies you’ll tell them. Just wait ‘til they hear my side of the story!”
She kept trying to engage me, and I ignored her entirely except when necessary, which was when she asked for a key to the room and I told her that she could have access to the room when the police arrived.
After I answered her one time, she kept trying to engage me again, saying my name over and over again. I only answered her one more time when she asked if I called 911; I told her I had called the non-emergency number. She had gotten impatient with the police and began debating whether she should just call them herself to see if they’d hurry up.
A little after 1:00, the housekeepers came down to the breakfast room for lunch. She tried talking to them, but they didn’t speak much English, so they had no idea what she was on about. Then, every time I interacted with them, she would say something in a s***ty sarcastic Mexican accent.
Ironically, she then began musing that perhaps I was just treating her like this because she had a Jewish last name. She said I must be conservative because who else would treat her like this? While I had done a very good job of not reacting to her, at that point, I did nearly snort, but I managed to hold it in because, obviously, a reaction was what she was looking for.
Then, her friend called her back and she complained about me some more, saying I’d had it in for her since that morning.
FINALLY, at long last, the police showed up, and she came and stood at the desk to wait for them, smirking like the cat who had gotten the cream. I greeted the officer as he walked up and told him I needed the woman evicted and trespassed.
Officer: “Okay. How long has she been staying here?”
Me: “She just checked in yesterday.”
He turned to her and asked her for her ID.
Guest: “Wait, don’t you want to hear my side of the story?”
Officer: *Looking a little dumbfounded* “No, they’re a private business, and they can trespass you if they’d like.”
The look on her face honestly made the entire thing worth it. I’ve never seen a more surprised Pikachu.
Another cop arrived, they went outside, and I could see that the guest was arguing with the officers. She was quite loud, so occasionally, I’d hear snippets of what she was saying, and she definitely yelled something about Guatemala. Then, her friend from earlier showed up — I guess to help and see if having two Entitled Jerks would improve the situation. (It didn’t.)
While the police were dealing with her, a regular came to check in.
Regular: *Gesturing to the police outside* “Is everything okay?”
Me: “Everything is under control.”
A moment later, the woman came up to the night window a few feet to my right. I could see her out of the corner of my eye as I got the dude checked in.
Regular: “Uh, there’s a woman outside the window making a heart shape at you with her hands.”
Me: “Oh, is that what she’s doing? I’m not going to look; she’s just trying to get a reaction.”
Then, he realized she was why the police were there.
Finally, a few minutes later, the woman and her friend got into their cars and left. (I had provided a key for the room once police arrived, and she retrieved her things and her dog before leaving.)
I cannot wait for the bats*** customer care complaint we’re going to get from her. And you know, it’s funny. My boss was wrong; just about the only thing she didn’t argue with me about was the pet fee.
