We Don’t Have To Wonder Why They’re Not Getting Married

, , , , | Right | January 27, 2020

(I work at a small bridal boutique in a very scenic town. We get a lot of foot traffic and people wandering in “just to look” because our shop is airy and open, with beautiful window displays that are very obviously bridal. While we are happy to have people walk in to see what we have to offer, we require an appointment to actually try on dresses, especially on the weekends when we are typically fully booked. We take care to staff enough to have a consultant in every appointment as well as a third person to “float,” answering the phone, tidying up, and greeting guests who walk in. Our gowns are all on racks around the boutique because we like to let brides see and touch them to gauge their tastes. Most guests are very respectful of the fact that they are $1000+ sample dresses and handle them with at least a little care, but there are always exceptions. One of our consultants greets a pair of women who walk in one busy Saturday. Our dressing rooms and seating areas are fully in use by parties who have booked appointments in advance and the fitting rooms are booked until the end of the day.)

Consultant: “Is there anything that I can help you find?”

Guests: “No, thanks, we’re just looking!”

Consultant: “Absolutely! Feel free to look around and let me know if you have any questions or are interested in booking an appointment to try on dresses!”

(She is asked to go in the back and pour champagne for one of the appointments and excuses herself. A few minutes later, she returns to the sales floor to find both of the guests standing in the middle of the store, pulling dresses off the racks, and putting them on over their clothes. They are dragging the dresses on the ground and stepping all over the skirts and trains. They even walk into a seating area to look at themselves in the mirror while one of our brides is changing in the fitting room, but her guests are still seated in the chairs.)

Consultant: “Excuse me! We ask that you book an appointment to try on dresses so one of our team can assist you with the gowns.”

Guests: “We’re not getting married; we just want to try on some dresses!”

(The consultant is trying to remain polite, but they are stomping on $4500 ball gowns and aren’t even shopping for a wedding.)

Consultant: “We only allow gowns to be tried on with an appointment so we can be sure to have a fitting room and consultant available.”

(They stepped out of the dresses and allowed her to hang them back up, but continued looking around. It was a busy day, so she was called away by other requests and lost track of them. After a short time, she heard giggling coming from a staff area and found the two guests! They had managed to bring sample gowns into the back and were still trying them on over their clothes! They were laughing and taking selfies while wearing our dresses, with more tossed on the floor. This time the consultant was less than polite and asked them to leave the boutique. They left the dresses on the floor and walked out. We’re just lucky they didn’t decide to open the hanging gown bags and try on one of our bride’s dresses that hadn’t been picked up yet!)

The Burning Need To Pee

, , , , | Right | January 27, 2020

(I am working as a janitor during college in the student union building on campus. I have closed the bathroom to clean it, blocking the entrance to the bathroom with a spring-loaded pole that goes across the opening and a flag hanging down it saying, “Restroom closed.” I have just sprayed phosphoric acid cleaner in the bowls and on the seats of the toilets, and I have to let it sit to clean and neutralize before washing it off. In the meantime, I start on the sinks. A woman comes in with her daughter who seems to be three or so.)

Woman: “Excuse me, is the bathroom closed?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

(She must have walked under a bar that literally said so to ask me this.)

Woman: “Well, my daughter needs to use the restroom.”

Me: “I’m sorry. It’s closed.”

Woman: “But she has to go potty.”

Me: “I understand it’s hard when kids just have to go, but I just put phosphoric acid cleaner on the toilets. If she were to use them, she would get chemical burns. There is another bathroom on the next floor up.”

Woman: “She can’t wait.”

Me: “There’s nothing I can do about this.”

Woman: “I’m going to use this one.”

Me: *standing in front of her* “Look, I’ve gotten this cleaner inside my gloves on accident before and it burns. I can’t let your daughter sit on it.”

Woman: “It will be okay.”

Me: “Go upstairs. You could have made it there in this time.”

Woman: *leaving* “If she wets herself, it’s your fault.”

Me: “Better wetting herself than having chemical burns on her legs and bottom!”

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No Matter What You Try It’s All Downhill

, , | Right | January 27, 2020

(For security reasons, the bathrooms at my workplace are locked. Employees have their own keys, but visitors have to get keys at reception. There are signs stating this everywhere. While leaving work one day, I notice a man standing in front of a bathroom, rattling the doorknob, and staring at the sign. I’m not actually supposed to help visitors as I’m still in training, but I’m the only one there and I figure it won’t be that difficult.)

Me: “Hi, excuse me? You’ll have to get the key from reception. It’s just up those stairs.”

(The man moves away from the door and towards the staircase leading down.)

Me: *thinking I misspoke* “Oh, sorry. It’s upstairs.”

(The man steps towards the staircase leading down again.)

Me: “Uh, no, it’s upstairs. This way, follow me.” 

(I start walking upstairs. The man moves in the opposite direction.)

Me: *gesticulating wildly* “UP-stairs!”

(No change.)

Me: *giving up* “All right. Go downstairs and follow the corridor. You’ll find a staircase to your right. It’ll lead you to reception.”

(Fortunately for the guy, the staircase I directed him to only goes up. I just hope he didn’t end up in the basement somehow.)

Enlarging Your Client Base

, , , , , | Right | January 27, 2020

I work at a law office and part of my job is to screen potential new clients — PNC — to help our attorney decide if they have a case or not.

Today, this flashed on my screen from our online contact form.

“PNC requests a callback regarding car accident, and her insurance company is now refusing to cover the cost of a breast enlargement that her doctor stated was to help her balance after car accident caused spinal issues.”

Firing Them Is Firing Themselves

, , , , , | Right | January 27, 2020

(I am the store manager of a big-box outlet. I’m in my office checking my emails when I suddenly hear the electronics department manager over the public address.)

Electronics Manager: *over the PA* “[New Hire], if you can hear me… YOU’RE FIRED!” *pause* “Please head to the store manager’s office to pick up your termination papers.”

(I am in complete disbelief at what I’ve heard. She is referring to a new hire who has been, simply put, problematic. It’s his first shift back from a three-day suspension, and he’s already on his last chance. However, I wasn’t expecting him to be fired so quickly; I haven’t even prepared his pink slip yet! I’m just as confused as he is when he comes into my office. Since lateness is one of his many issues, I check his punches, and learn that he has in fact clocked in an hour late. Since he is already on his last chance, I explain to him that yes, he is fired, as I quickly prepare his termination slip, hand it to him, and send him on his way. After a quick call to the district office explaining what happened, I call the electronics manager — who isn’t exactly a model employee herself — to my office. She comes in smiling proudly as if she’s just won the Nobel Prize.)

Electronics Manager: “So, how’d you like my creativity?”

Me: *pause* “Actually, I was quite amused by it.”

Electronics Manager: “Really? Why, thank you! Honestly, I impress even myself some—”

Me:However, not only did you once again go over my head in firing someone from your department, but what you did was essentially yell at him in front of the entire store — unacceptable, and completely unprofessional! Sign your reprimand and go home. We’ll discuss this further tomorrow morning.”

(I hand her a writeup for yelling in front of customers and violating termination protocol. She nonchalantly signs it.)

Electronics Manager: *smirking* “Totally worth it.”

(You should have seen the look on her face when she was forced to explain her actions to the district manager the next day. Needless to say, with literally dozens of complaints from customers AND security footage corroborating what happened, he didn’t buy her excuses, and gave me the green light to fire her for gross misconduct. We haven’t seen her since then.)

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