A Stroll Among The Aisles

, , , , , | Legal | July 19, 2018

(Several weeks ago, security spotted a woman hiding items under her toddler’s stroller, then leaving the store. They were unable to catch up with her, but posted a picture of her as someone to watch out for. She has just entered the store with the stroller. Almost immediately she starts hiding items under it. Security starts carefully monitoring her on the cameras while someone shadows her. After a few minutes, she starts heading for the door.)

Security: “Excuse me, I’m going to have to ask you to step aside. We would like you to speak with the poli– Hey!”

(The woman takes off running through the second set of doors and across the parking lot. After a moment, the security guy talks over the walkie talkie.)

Security: “Uh, call police in. We have an issue. She left the stroller.”

Office: “So, you have the stolen goods?”

Security: “Yes, but… the baby is still in the stroller.”

(Police responded quickly, and the child was taken by a social worker. Five hours later, the thief showed back up with an older woman and sheepishly asked if we could give her her child back. Instead, she was arrested. The stolen goods were less than $100, so the theft charge was much less significant than the charge for abandoning her child.)

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Not Billed To Be The Next Great Conman

, , , , | Legal | July 18, 2018

(I am working the cash register when an unknown customer walks up to me.)

Customer: “Hello. I have lots of 10€ notes I’d like to exchange for bigger notes.”

Me: “Sure. We are actually low on 10€ notes today, so that is great! How many did you have?”

(The customer then proceeds to pull a big stack of 10s out of his pocket.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. We don’t actually keep that many big bills in the till. Looks like most I can do for you today is 250€.”

Customer: “Okay, fine.”

(I don’t hand him the money yet. I decide it’s best to keep it safely in the till until I’ve checked his notes. Then he starts to count 25 bills from the stack really fast. After he hands me the bills, I check and count them, and notice he actually gave me 24 bills. When I tell him this, he takes the 24 bills back and starts counting them again, lightning fast.)

Customer: “Oh, I’m sorry, looks like you’re right. Here’s one more.”

(He hands me back the stack of bills, plus one more from his pocket. I’m beyond suspicious at this point, so I start counting them again.)

Customer: *slightly panicked* “No, no, you don’t have to do that. You just counted them already!”

Me: “Errm, I’m kind of glad I did. Instead of 24 or 25 bills, there’s 16 now…”

(At this, he snatched the stack of 10s from my hands and ran out of the store. I closed my lane and went to tell the manager. My manager and a few department supervisors checked the surveillance footage of the camera pointed at my till after that. They actually had to play it at a three-times lower speed before they could see at what point he had taken part of the stack and hidden it up his sleeve. Turned out he had done this at lots of other supermarkets in the area, too, and had succeeded most of the time! They gave me a gift card for not falling for it!)

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Hooked On That One Room

, , , , | Legal | July 17, 2018

(I am working as a receptionist. One evening my colleague and I observe some unusual behaviour with three or four different gentlemen requesting a specific room number. That’s usually a good indication of having someone making “business” in your hotel. With the last gentleman:)

Gentleman: “Hello, I have a friend in room [same number as previous gentlemen].”

Me: “Certainly, sir, could you please tell me the guest’s name?”

Gentleman: “[Female Name].”

Me: “Thank you, sir, but unfortunately the name I have for that room is different. Would you be able to call that person to ask her to meet you here in the lobby?”

Gentleman: “Sure.”

(The gentleman calls the lady. They are talking on the phone and are three meters apart. I realise they are talking to someone they have never seen before; they soon realise and they go upstairs to her room. After about an hour the gentleman leaves and the lady asks me for a coffee. I serve her coffee and take payment.)

Me: “Madam, I’m sorry, but I need to talk to you in private.”

(I escort her to our office and close the door.)

Me: “Madam, I’m really sorry, but I have reason to believe you are making business in our hotel and we cannot allow it for obvious legal reasons.”

Lady: “Business? What business?”

Me: ”It can be either prostitution or drugs, madam, and we cannot allow it here.”

Lady: “Oh, no, no, no. I would never do anything like that! You are wrong; I’m just a normal guest meeting friends.”

Me: “Meeting friends you don’t even know how they look? A bit unusual.”

Lady: “…”

Me: “Madam, look. You have paid so you have the right to stay here. This is your life and I don’t judge you for your choices. However, if I see any more signs of activity I will be forced to ask you to leave the hotel.”

Lady: “Absolutely. I am not making any kind of business.”

(She goes up to her room. Five minutes later she calls reception:)

Lady: “Hi, we spoke a few minutes ago.”

Me: “Hello.”

Lady: “Can I please just have one last client coming up?”

Me: “No.”

Lady: “What if I give you £20?”

Me: “No.”

Lady: “Oh, okay.”

(The lady left the hotel a few minutes later.)

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Giving Way More Than Your Two Cents On The Situation

, , , , | Legal | July 16, 2018

(I work for a civil division small claims court, where you sue people for smallish amounts of money and represent yourself in court. An older man comes in the office and up to the service counter with a wheelbarrow. In the wheelbarrow is a burlap sack full of… something.)

Defendant: *after ranting about the case he was involved in with a neighbour/ex-friend and the judgment rendered against him* “I am here to pay my judgment BUT I am paying it in PENNIES! If [Plaintiff] wants his money, FINE, but he’s going to have to work for it!”

Me: *looking at burlap bag and realizing what’s in it* “Um, I’m sorry sir but we cannot accept that here.” *IN MY HEAD: “Never mind the fact that WE would be the ones ‘working’ for it, not the plaintiff!”

Me: “If you wish to bring them to the plaintiff directly you can see if he will accept them.”

(After grumbling a bit more, the defendant leaves. The judgement was $800 so it would have been 80,000 pennies, weighing around 50 pounds. About 30 minutes later I answer the phone and immediately know who I am talking to:)

Plaintiff: “[Defendant] just showed up at my door with a bag full of pennies! Do I have to accept them?”

Me: “Well, sir, you can refuse it but then you will have to take further proceedings to collect on your judgment, such as a garnishment, which will take time and cost money. Monies paid out for further proceedings are recoverable and added onto the judgment, but seeing as the courts are not a guarantee that you will get your money it might be in your best interests to take the pennies.”

Plaintiff: *lots of swearing and ranting about [Defendant] and the case in general*

(In the end the plaintiff took the pennies and had to roll them all by hand because change sorting/rolling machines had not yet been invented for the casual user. I thought to myself then, and still think now, that if I ever got sued and had a judgment against me, that’s exactly the way I would pay it, too!)

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Gunning For A Win

, , , , , , | Legal | July 15, 2018

(I work at an indoor gun range where people can rent and try different guns. Every customer has to sign a liability waiver stating what their firearms experience is so we know better how to serve them. It also serves to protect us against people who may injure themselves and try to sue us. A woman who rented a gun minutes ago comes out holding onto her hand which is lightly bleeding.)

Me: “Did you get cut by the slide? It happens to everyone at some point. I’ll get you a bandage!”

Customer: “I don’t know what happened! I shot it and it cut me! I’m taking you all to court! This is your responsibility!”

Me: “But, ma’am, I thought you had extensive firearms experience. That’s what it says on your waiver!”

Customer: *frustrated and distracted from the bleeding* “WELL, I WAS LYING!”

Me: “Oh… Then you should not have lied!”

Customer: “No. You should have known what my experience was!”

Me: “I don’t know, ma’am, they don’t pay me to assess that… but they do pay me to get you that bandage!”

(She called a lawyer and lied to him, too. When she and the lawyer came in requesting the video, we showed him the liability waiver that she’d signed but neglected to mention to him. He looked at her for a moment, then walked out of the store.)

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