Bit Of An Overreaction, Don’t You Think?

At around 3:00 am one morning, I’m pulled over for a random breathalyser check. I don’t drink so I’m not worried. It’s just one of those things that happens occasionally, particularly early in the morning.

As I get ready to blow in the meter:

Police Officer #1: “Have you drunk any alcohol in the last three or four hours?”

Me: “No, I don’t drink alcohol. It makes me very depressed.”

I’m trying to keep it light.

Me: “But I had a couple of cups of tea before I left home if that’s going to be a problem!”

[Police Officer #1] gives me a friendly grin, and we do the business with the breathalyser.

Police Officer #1: *Curious* “The reading is all right, but where are you going at this time of the morning?”

Me: “I’m a research student at the university, and I like to get in early so I can get some work done before the phones start ringing and people start wasting my valuable research time.”

Police Officer #1: *Grinning* “Yeah, I can appreciate that. Have a good day.”

Police Officer #2: *Breaking in, angrily* “What about drugs? All university students take drugs.”

Me: “Not me. I don’t like my mind being messed with.”

Police Officer #2: *Getting angrier* “Don’t get smart with me, you b*****d, or I’ll arrest you for failing to answer my questions properly. You must have been taking something!”

[Police Officer #1] looks a bit doubtful about his partner’s attitude. Starting to get a bit upset, I glance at [Police Officer #1].

Me: “I’m not getting smart. I did answer your questions properly.”

[Police Officer #2] starts shouting angrily and reaching for his gun.

Police Officer #2: “Get out of the car, put your hands on the roof, and spread your legs!”

Now I’m starting to get frightened! [Police Officer #1], a sergeant, quickly breaks in and orders his partner to get back in the patrol car.

Police Officer #1: “I’m very sorry about that. I’m going straight back to the station and putting in an official report about him.” *Gives me his card* “If you want to make a formal complaint, give them my name and I will support you.”

I went on my way, shaking. I’d never before been threatened with a gun just because I passed a breathalyser test! Perhaps it’s time I learnt that some people don’t appreciate my weird sense of humour.

This story is part of our Best Of October 2021 roundup!

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