All Gassed Up And Ready For Mischief

I’m at the pump, just starting to fill up. A guy carrying a green petrol can comes up to me.

Man: “Hey, could you put a couple of quid in here? It won’t let me put in less than five and I don’t need that much.”

Me: “Err, that’s petrol, right? I’m filling up with diesel.”

Man: “Oh, come on, man. I only want a couple of quids’ worth.”

Me: “Again, I’m not filling up with petrol. I’m using diesel. This isn’t what you want?”

Man: “Mate, I’ve broken down. I only need enough to get me home.”

Me: “Are you drunk? Do you want petrol or diesel?”

Man: “I don’t care, any.”

Massive alarm bells started ringing. His story made no sense. I made up a lie about going to pay for my fuel before getting his. Luckily, the staff were half decent and eventually called the police. The guy started to get real nervous and ran off just before they got there, but they caught him anyway.

It turned out that the guy was drunk, had no licence, and had stolen his friend’s car, which ran out of petrol almost immediately. I guess this wasn’t the first time as he ended up with jail time.