I’m working in a garage. I’m finding it really difficult to learn and fit in. I’m finding myself walking on eggshells already when this customer walks in.

Customer: “Hey! Can you look at my car?”

I’m clearly busy; I’m under a car struggling to loosen a bolt.

Me: “Yeah, give me a minute.”

I struggle some more and finally get it loose. Before I can even move:

Customer: “Come on, mate! I need to get to work!”

Me: “Yeah? And it’s just me here, you didn’t call ahead, and you can see the yard is full. I’m clearly busy.”

The man starts to get in my face.

Customer: “You need to watch your mouth.”

I’m not a big guy, but I am still carrying the massive wrench.

Me: “Or what?”

Customer: “Just look at my car, will you?!”

The car looks a mess at the front, bracket, bumper, and light, scuffs down the side, and the wheel looks bent in.

Me: “What is this, your getaway car?”

Customer: “Err, no, just had an accident, that’s all.”

Me: “All right, leave it there. I will get someone to call with a price.”

Thankfully, he left. I fully intended to just not look at the car and give it to one of the other guys. But all my jobs took less time than I thought, so I gave it a look over.

Clearly, the car had been driven hard. The tyres were balding, there was damage all over, the seat belts were ripped, and it was filthy inside. I turned a blind eye to the small packet of white powder, but then I noticed the orange cap of a used needle.

Nope, they don’t pay me enough. I shut the door and called the police. They turned up pretty quickly and took the car. They didn’t confirm, but I got the idea that they had been looking for this car.

My boss gave me an earful as “some of the customers don’t appreciate when cars get taken away by the police.” I told him exactly what he and his customers could do and quit there and then.

Apparently, the garage had more of a reputation than I realised; I found a job at another garage who told me that the place was well known in the trade and, up until recently, would have police presence every month.

I am travelling on the bus from Vancouver to Seattle. As I am getting on the bus, I see another traveller rock up who immediately looks suspicious. He’s arrived with zero luggage and looks far too relaxed. Something about his body language and demeanour looks funny, and a couple of travellers even mention the fact he has no luggage. I put this down to me just being paranoid and decide that as long as he’s not causing trouble I’ll pay him no mind.

When we get to the US/Canada border, his demeanour immediately changes. He appears a little more jittery and nervous and begins to pace around. Immediately, one of the US border agents takes notice. 

Border Agent: “Hey, sir… Are you all right? Why are you pacing around so much?”

The guy tries to ignore him.

Border Agent: “Sir… why are you pacing around?”

The guy then gives him an extremely arrogant sneer and shrugs. Instantly, all of us can tell this was a dumb move! 

Border Agent: “Come with me, please, sir!”

He gestures for him to follow, but the guy remains rooted to the spot.

Border Agent: “Sir, come this way immediately!”

The guy very sheepishly followed him into the building. When we left the border, the guy wasn’t on the bus. I have no idea what he was doing, but I have a feeling it was illicit. The lesson here when dealing with border agents: don’t be that guy!

At around 3:00 am one morning, I’m pulled over for a random breathalyser check. I don’t drink so I’m not worried. It’s just one of those things that happens occasionally, particularly early in the morning.

As I get ready to blow in the meter:

Police Officer #1: “Have you drunk any alcohol in the last three or four hours?”

Me: “No, I don’t drink alcohol. It makes me very depressed.”

I’m trying to keep it light.

Me: “But I had a couple of cups of tea before I left home if that’s going to be a problem!”

[Police Officer #1] gives me a friendly grin, and we do the business with the breathalyser.

Police Officer #1: *Curious* “The reading is all right, but where are you going at this time of the morning?”

Me: “I’m a research student at the university, and I like to get in early so I can get some work done before the phones start ringing and people start wasting my valuable research time.”

Police Officer #1: *Grinning* “Yeah, I can appreciate that. Have a good day.”

Police Officer #2: *Breaking in, angrily* “What about drugs? All university students take drugs.”

Me: “Not me. I don’t like my mind being messed with.”

Police Officer #2: *Getting angrier* “Don’t get smart with me, you b*****d, or I’ll arrest you for failing to answer my questions properly. You must have been taking something!”

[Police Officer #1] looks a bit doubtful about his partner’s attitude. Starting to get a bit upset, I glance at [Police Officer #1].

Me: “I’m not getting smart. I did answer your questions properly.”

[Police Officer #2] starts shouting angrily and reaching for his gun.

Police Officer #2: “Get out of the car, put your hands on the roof, and spread your legs!”

Now I’m starting to get frightened! [Police Officer #1], a sergeant, quickly breaks in and orders his partner to get back in the patrol car.

Police Officer #1: “I’m very sorry about that. I’m going straight back to the station and putting in an official report about him.” *Gives me his card* “If you want to make a formal complaint, give them my name and I will support you.”

I went on my way, shaking. I’d never before been threatened with a gun just because I passed a breathalyser test! Perhaps it’s time I learnt that some people don’t appreciate my weird sense of humour.

This story is part of our Best Of October 2021 roundup!

Read the next Best Of October 2021 roundup story!

Read the Best Of October 2021 roundup!

I’m walking in the city when a woman stops me. Through broken English, she explains she is new to the country and lost. She doesn’t want money but does ask if I can walk her to the bus station. She seems quite helpless and nice, so I start to walk with her, but before I know it, I’m surrounded and feel very vulnerable. 

Me: “The bus station is just down there.”

I pick up speed.

Woman: “Wait, walk with me some more.”

Me: “Nope.”

The others start to pick up speed, too. Clearly, this is a setup for pickpocketing or worse. I run toward a shop and dart inside. They call the police and, to my surprise, the group waits outside.

The police arrive and they speak to the group before coming inside.

Police: “I’m told that you took something from that woman and ran off.”

Me: “Is that what they told you? No, they started to follow me. I think it was a pickpocket scam.”

Police: “They allege you took money and jewellery.”

Me: “I doubt they gave you any description. Keep things vague, huh?”

Police: “I’m just telling you the information they gave me. Do you have any cash or jewellery on you?”

Me: “No, I don’t carry cash on me. And the only jewellery I have is my wedding ring, but look: it’s inscribed.”

I take off my ring and show it to him. He hands it back to me and tells me to stay inside. He speaks to the crowd, and when backup arrives, they arrest all of them that don’t run off. I head back outside.

Me: “So…”

Police: “We have everything we need.”

Me: “Do I need to give a statement or anything?”

Police: “Please do when you next have a chance to, but it’s unlikely we will be able to bring any charges against them on that front.”

Me: “But you’re arresting them anyway?”

Police: “Oh, yes. They gave fake names; however, the fake names were already wanted. Luckily, one of the officers recognised them and we believe them to be wanted on a number of other charges.”

Me: “Not the brightest criminals.”

Police: “And yet far from the worst. Stay safe.”

I get a call from a number I don’t recognize but pick it up. An automated voice begins to drone on about my car’s warranty. I decide to press the number to speak with a representative and have a little bit of fun, knowing it’s a scam.

Representative: “Hello, please verify the VIN number of your vehicle, please.”

No company name, no verification that they are through to the right person. Just wanting the VIN.

Me: “Once you tell me what color my vehicle is.”

Representative: “Sorry, but for security purposes, I cannot give you the information until you verify the VIN number.”

Me: “It’s not that personal. It’s just a color. Is it blue? Is it red? You should be able to at least tell me what color the car is.”

Representative: “Sorry, but for security purposes, I cannot give you the information until you verify the VIN number.”

Me: “It’s just a color. It’s not a security risk to tell me the color of the vehicle in question. My neighbor can see the color of my vehicle and they don’t even need information on a computer screen to see it. So, please tell me what the color of my vehicle is.”

Representative: “I’m sorry, I cannot give you that information. Please verify your VIN number, please.”

Me: “Not until you give me the color of my vehicle. I can do this all day.”

Representative: “Okay, ma’am, I’m sorry we could not help you today. Please have a good day.” *Click*

After this call, I got another call about three months later from another unfamiliar number with the same automated “car warranty” song and dance. This time I told them that I don’t have a car and they “apologized” and promised to take me off their “system”.