Books Have All The Answers

, , , , | Right | March 6, 2020

(An elderly woman comes in off the street and approaches me.)

Customer: “Hello. I was hoping for some advice.”

Me: “Certainly. Are you looking for a gift or something for yourself?”

Customer: “Myself. I recently sold my car and I need to know if I’ve completed all the right paperwork.”

Me: “I see. Well, unfortunately, we don’t have any legal texts in stock covering car ownership—”

Customer: *interrupts* “Oh, no. You misunderstand me. I don’t want a book; I just want advice about my sold car.”

Me: “From me?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “In a bookshop?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(I am perplexed, but I play along.)

Me: “Well, did you have insurance on this car you sold?”

Customer: “Yes, I do!”

Me: “You should probably contact the insurance company and cancel it, then; no point paying insurance on a car you no longer own, right? And while you’re there, I would ask them for advice, as they deal with cars all the time and would know more about it.”

Customer: “Thank you! You’ve been so helpful! I’ll go to my insurance company right away! I love bookshops! Everyone is so helpful.”

(She leaves, very happy. A regular turns to me:)

Regular: “Maybe it’s because we read what we have to do about something before we do it.”

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What Awesome Looks Like

, , , , , , | Right | February 13, 2020

I am working the self-serve checkouts, and a little old lady asks me for help. As I check her out, she doesn’t say much, just clarifying that it is credit and she wants to sign. There are no problems with the card, so I go to help out another customer, leaving the lady to make her way to her car.

As I finish with the other customer, I turn around to see the little old lady tearing out of the car park in her pimped-out Hummer, windows down, screaming, “F*** yeah!”

My coworker and I both break down with laughter for the next ten minutes.

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Have A Bad Feeling In The Back Of My Throat About This

, , , , , | Healthy | February 1, 2020

(I am scheduled for a tonsillectomy in the afternoon. My mother gets a call in the morning.)

Nurse: “Is [My Name] all ready for her big surgery?”

Mother: “I guess so; I haven’t heard from her today.”

Nurse: “She hasn’t eaten in the past twelve hours, has she?”

Mother: “I wouldn’t know.”

Nurse: “You should know. She may not be able to have surgery if she ate; it’s too dangerous!”

Mother: “Given that she’s a twenty-seven-year-old woman, why don’t you call her mobile and ask her whether she ate?”

Nurse: *embarrassed silence*

(Most people having this surgery are children, and it’s protocol to call their parents and confirm the surgery. Why they didn’t check the age of the patient before calling my emergency contact is beyond me! It was funny at the time but also a breach of my privacy.)

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Mmm, The Afraid-Of-Being-Called-Racist Discount

, , , , , | Working | September 5, 2018

(The fast food restaurant where I work is only a short walk from my place of residence, so my friends and I often go there and use my employee discount. I have never been given a weekend shift in the eight months since I started. Yet, lo and behold, the one time I misread the roster, I am assigned a Sunday morning shift and do not realise until Sunday morning when I wake up to three missed calls and texts from the shift manager. This is the first shift I have ever missed. Up until now, this particular manager has been friendly with me, even giving me the 50% discount any time I come into the store even though it is only reserved for our break-time meals. But after this incident, his attitude completely changes. He becomes a lot more commanding and bossy, stops making casual conversation with me, no longer gives me the 50% discount, and looks for any reason to not give me the usual 20% employee discount, like if my order is over $20 or if I am ordering from the cheaper items list — while these are technically the standard rules of the discount at all stores, managers have always been a lot more lenient with employees from their own store. When my friends and I enter the store on this night, I notice [Manager] is working this shift and let them know that I’m not likely to get a discount. I am a 20-year-old female of Southeast-Asian descent with light brown skin.)

Manager: *curtly* “Hey.”

Me: *politely* “Hey! Can I grab a [small family box meal] and two [cheaper items], please?”

(My manager silently puts my order in and the total comes up on the display as $20.95.)

Manager: “Your whole order is over $20, so I can’t give you the discount.”

Me: “That’s fine, just on card ple—”

Manager: “Also, how come you didn’t show up to your shift today?”

(I am about to tap the card to the machine when I stop and frown at him.)

Me: “What?”

Manager: “You were rostered on for six to ten this morning. Where were you? That’s the second shift you’ve missed in a month without notice.”

Me: “What are you talking about? I’ve been double-checking the roster every week since that shift I missed, and I definitely wasn’t rostered on at all today!”

Manager: “Yes, you were. We called you multiple times and you never answered, let alone called back to explain why.”

Me: “I’ve had my phone on me all day and never got any calls, let alone notifications for a missed call. As for the shift, I had university lectures starting at nine am today! I don’t think I even have today in my availability, and usually [Manager who organizes roster] puts me on six to ten Monday!”

Manager: “Well, you’re going to have to talk to her, because I sure as heck—” *he goes silent and stares at me intently for a second* “Wait… Aren’t you [Other Female Southeast Asian Employee]?”

Me: “No! I’m [My Name]! I’ve worked here for almost a year now!”

Manager: *sputtering and going slightly red* “I knew that… I did know that! And [Other Employee] doesn’t even go to university.”

Me: “[Manager], you’ve known me since I started!”

Manager: “Oh, God, I’m sorry! I just… I don’t know what… It’s really late… Okay, I’m sorry. I genuinely feel really bad. Um…”

(The manager taps on the register screen a couple of times and my displayed total is immediately halved.)

Manager: “I’ll give you the 50%.”

(I tap my card against the machine and wait for the approval.)

Me: “Thank you. Hope you get some sleep.”

(While we usually eat in the dining area, we decided to take this one home. I assured my friends, who had overheard most of the conversation, that I wasn’t hurt or offended, and we rejoiced at getting a $10 meal for four people. But the next time I went into the restaurant to buy food, the manager had gone back to his previous ways and refused me the 20% discount for ordering off the cheaper items menu. The only difference was that when he served me, he made a point to clearly say my name.)

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Getting His Insecure Panties In A Twist

, , , , | Right | August 9, 2018

(I work in a lingerie sore. We cater only to women, but occasionally a man will come in shopping with his girlfriend or partner. It astounds me how many men think it’s okay to stroll into the fitting room areas with their girlfriends to “assist” them trying things on. Our company policy is that no men are to be allowed in the fitting rooms when there are other customers trying things on. Most women feel very uncomfortable if they are trying on bras when there is a strange man nearby. One day, a man comes in with his girlfriend, and I have to politely ask him to leave the fitting rooms.)

Me: *politely in a quiet voice* “I’m really sorry, but we don’t allow men in our fitting rooms when there are other customers using them.”

Male Customer: *stares at me*

Me: “I know you are just with your girlfriend, but it’s for the privacy of our customers.”

(He blinks and walks away and I think everything is fine, but later he approaches me again.)

Male Customer: *aggressive* “You know, just because I have a penis, it doesn’t mean I am dangerous!

(He certainly seemed threatening after that!)

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