Thanks For Being Stupid, Scammers!

I’m walking in the city when a woman stops me. Through broken English, she explains she is new to the country and lost. She doesn’t want money but does ask if I can walk her to the bus station. She seems quite helpless and nice, so I start to walk with her, but before I know it, I’m surrounded and feel very vulnerable. 

Me: “The bus station is just down there.”

I pick up speed.

Woman: “Wait, walk with me some more.”

Me: “Nope.”

The others start to pick up speed, too. Clearly, this is a setup for pickpocketing or worse. I run toward a shop and dart inside. They call the police and, to my surprise, the group waits outside.

The police arrive and they speak to the group before coming inside.

Police: “I’m told that you took something from that woman and ran off.”

Me: “Is that what they told you? No, they started to follow me. I think it was a pickpocket scam.”

Police: “They allege you took money and jewellery.”

Me: “I doubt they gave you any description. Keep things vague, huh?”

Police: “I’m just telling you the information they gave me. Do you have any cash or jewellery on you?”

Me: “No, I don’t carry cash on me. And the only jewellery I have is my wedding ring, but look: it’s inscribed.”

I take off my ring and show it to him. He hands it back to me and tells me to stay inside. He speaks to the crowd, and when backup arrives, they arrest all of them that don’t run off. I head back outside.

Me: “So…”

Police: “We have everything we need.”

Me: “Do I need to give a statement or anything?”

Police: “Please do when you next have a chance to, but it’s unlikely we will be able to bring any charges against them on that front.”

Me: “But you’re arresting them anyway?”

Police: “Oh, yes. They gave fake names; however, the fake names were already wanted. Luckily, one of the officers recognised them and we believe them to be wanted on a number of other charges.”

Me: “Not the brightest criminals.”

Police: “And yet far from the worst. Stay safe.”