(I have graduated from high school early, and I’m starting college. I’m barely 16 years old, and my mom is a broke single mother. For my graduation, she buys me a $400 used car, and I apply for financial aid so I can go to college. Part of my financial aid is a work-study job in the college cafeteria. My shift is supposed to be from 6:00 to 10:00 in the morning, but since I have a 10:00 class, the manager moves my shift to 5:45 to 9:45 so I can make it to class on time. Serving breakfast to surly college students is NOT fun, and almost every day, the boss gives me too much to do, so I’m late getting out of work. Now, I am in danger of being dropped from my class for excessive tardiness. I ask my mother for permission to quit my job and look for another one, and she says yes. I go to my boss.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I need to quit this job. It’s interfering with my schoolwork and I need to get good grades.”

Boss: “You really need to stay and finish the job. Otherwise, all your life, you will feel like a quitter. I don’t accept your resignation.”

Me: *is stunned into silence*

(I go home and told my mom what happened. She gives me permission to stop going to work, so I go to class instead. Two days later, my boss calls me.)

Boss: “I’m sorry, but due to your attendance, I’m going to have to let you go.”

Me: “I can’t say I’m sorry about this. I quit two days ago, remember?”

(It took me years to get over feeling ashamed of losing one of my first jobs, but now when I think back on it, I’m proud that I stood up for myself.)

(I go with my friends to a fast food place that specializes in burgers, before going to the movies. There is no one in the lobby, when this interaction takes place.)

Me: “I would like to order a Bacon Double Cheeseburger meal, please.”

Cashier: “Certainly! That will be [amount].”

(My friends and I pay for our meals, and within a couple of minutes, my friends get their order, but I never get mine. I stand there for quite a while, until the same cashier who took my order makes eye contact with me and approaches me.)

Cashier: “Is there something wrong, ma’am?”

Me: “Yes, I never got my Bacon Double Cheeseburger meal.”

Cashier: “That is because we have been out of burgers all day. Would you like to order something else?”

(I wonder why he didn’t mention that, if he knew they had no burgers in stock, but not wanting to cause trouble, I order something else from the menu.)

Cashier: “Okay, with your new meal, that will be [amount].”

Me: “Aren’t you going to refund me for the other meal?”

Cashier: “Why would I do that?”

Me: “Because I paid for the Double Bacon Cheeseburger meal and you waited to tell me after I paid for it. I should be getting a refund.”

Cashier: *looks at me confused* “Well, I’m not sure if I can give you one because I don’t have proof you ordered a Bacon Double Cheeseburger to begin with. Do you have your receipt?”

Me: “You’re the one who rang me up five minutes ago and told me, after the fact, that you had no burgers.”

Cashier: “But I still have no proof you order it. Do you have your receipt?”

Me: *facepalms*

(I handed him the receipt and he went to get a manager for the refund. After telling the manager he never told me until after the fact they had no burgers, she offered to give me a new meal for free. It still blows my mind that a restaurant commonly known for selling hamburgers and cheeseburgers was out of them!)

(I am a territory salesman for a chemical company. I am sound asleep with my wife at just after 5:00 am and the phone rings beside the bed.)

Me: *groggily answering the phone* “Hello.”

Caller: “Hello, it’s [Caller], from [My Employer] in Toronto calling.”

Me: “Do you know what time it is?”

Caller: “Yes. It’s 8:05.”

Me: “Not in Prince George, it isn’t.”

Caller: *hesitating* “Oh… What do you mean?”

Me: *realizing the caller has no clue how the world works* “Well, you know how the sun comes up in the east and goes down at sunset in the west?”

Caller: *obviously unsure where this is leading* “Oh… Yes?”

Me: *trying to impart just a wee bit of wisdom* “Well, it hasn’t gotten here yet.”

Caller: *sounding really confused* “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, the sun may be up in Toronto, but it will be three more hours before we see it, so it’s only ten after five in Prince George.”

(The caller is either completely unaware, or disregards the fact that she has woken me from a sound sleep and by this time, my wife is sitting up in bed beside me with a very puzzled look on her sleepy face.)

Caller: “Well, while I have you on the line, can you pop by this morning to [Customer] in Prince Rupert and drop a copy of an invoice that they didn’t receive?”

Me: “Well, I can get a copy to [Customer], but it won’t be this morning. Do you realize that Prince Rupert is 500 miles from here, which is a whole day’s drive, one way? Why don’t you just fax a copy, and then I won’t have to do anything until my next trip out west?”

Caller: *sounding shocked and perhaps just starting to realize the enormity of Canada* “Oh, okay. I guess I can do that.”

(Many years later, I sometimes think of that young clerk, and imagine her hanging up the phone and sitting there stunned by the incredible knowledge that the whole world doesn’t operate on Toronto time.)

Related:
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 11
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 10
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 9
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 8
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 7

This story is part of the fourth Geography roundup!

Read the next Geography roundup story!

Read the fourth Geography roundup!

(I’m a carer for a young man who has autism. Like a lot of autistic children, he can be picky about what he will and will not eat. As a reward for recent good behaviour, I take him to the local fish and chips shop for some hot chips.)

Server: “What can I get you?”

Me: “Can I please have a large chips, no salt?”

(The server sighs and stalks away. I think it is weird, but I let it go. The server cooks up a fresh order of fries… only to add salt to them.)

Me: “Sorry, but it was a large chips with no salt.”

Server: “Oh. I forgot. No big deal, though, right?” *tries to give me the chips*

Me: “No. Big deal. I need you to make a fresh order with no salt, please.”

Server: “C’mon, I know that this is just a ploy that people do to get a fresh batch of chips, and you’re just going to add salt to them. You saw me cook them fresh, so it’s fine.”

Me: “No. If I give [Boy] chips with salt, he will lick off the salt and not eat the chips. Please give me what I ordered, or I’ll be forced to ask for a manager.”

(The server sighed, rolled her eyes and muttered up a storm, but eventually she gave me an order of saltless fries. I think I’ll try somewhere else to get hot chips, next time.)

(We have been receiving calls from a scammer once a week discussing nonexistent student loans and asking for banking information. Finally, I have had enough. The phone rings from the same call center.)

Me: “Hello.”

(Pause.)

Scammer: “Hello?”

Me: “That’s what I just said.”

Scammer: “Hello?”

Me: “I think we have already covered this part of the conversation. May we move on, or shall we greet one another once more?”

Scammer: “I would like to talk to you about refinancing your student loans.”

Me: “Okay. Have fun with that, but I’m just going to set the receiver down and go start dinner, because I am 38 and paid off all my student loans years ago.”

(I set down the phone and I could hear talking for a full two minutes before the scammer realized I wasn’t there and hung up. So, I redialled the number and said we got disconnected. I did the same thing again. And again. Until supper was ready. One scammer kept off the phone for over an hour. You’re welcome, society!)