Rise And Shine And Seethe

, , , | Working | September 14, 2020

Recently, I have been getting a lot of calls from telemarketers. This one has called me a total of four times, every time early in the morning.

I’m sleeping and my phone starts to vibrate on my nightstand.

Me: “[My Name].”

The telemarketer starts his spiel. I hang up and try going back to sleep. My phone starts vibrating and it’s the same number, so I answer with the intention of giving him a piece of my mind, but instead, the telemarketer manages to speak first.

Telemarketer: “Hello again. It seems we got disconnected—”

Me: “Actually, I hung up as I want to sleep. I don’t want your magazine; don’t call again!”

I hang up.

The next morning, a Friday, my phone wakes me up again. I try to answer, but the caller hangs up immediately. I forget the call for the time being.

On Monday, my phone vibrates again.

Me: “[My Name].”

The telemarketer starts his spiel once again, not even bothering to check who he’s talking to.

I start raising my voice with every word after the second “No,” as the first two have no effect.


The telemarketer speaks with the most irritatingly sneering tone I have ever heard.

Telemarketer: “There’s no need to yell.”

Me: “I wouldn’t have had to had you just listened to when I first said, ‘No!’”

I give him a piece of my mind, asking why he won’t just leave me alone already. He replies that I can always end the call myself; note that this is definitely the same guy that immediately called me back the first time I hung up on him.

Me: “…also I was sleeping and I want to get back to sleep as soon as possible!”

Telemarketer: “Well, that’s your own fault for keeping your phone on!”

Me: “I want to talk to your supervisor.”

Telemarketer: “I am alone here.”

Me: “I hear someone’s voice in the background.”

Telemarketer: “That’s my coworker.”

Me: “So, you are telling me that you and your coworkers are working without a supervisor?”

Telemarketer: “Yes.”

Me: “What’s your name?”

Telemarketer: “[Telemarketer].”

Me: “You’ll be hearing from me very soon.”

The telemarketers used to hide their caller IDs but have since stopped doing it as people stopped answering calls with the ID hidden, meaning I was able to track down the company’s contact info. I also realised he had called me a total of four times over the course of three consecutive banking days. I managed to figure out which branch he worked at, and I called the branch manager.

The manager was not pleased when I recounted the events, mentioning how I’d made it quite clear the first time around that I did not want them to call me again. By calling four times in three days, they were, in fact, harassing me.

This was over a month ago now and they haven’t called me again.

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Now That’s Just Too Easy

, , , | Working | September 9, 2020

I get a spam call that is obviously automated. I like messing with telemarketers, so I decide to sit on the line until I can get a human on the phone.

Computer: “We are calling from Medicare regarding your coverage…”

Me: “Blah blah blah, I’m under sixty-five…”

Computer: “…your surgery may be denied…”

Me: “You’re a computer, not a human…”

All of a sudden, a human voice pops into the call and talks over the computer.

Human Voice: “You have been removed from our call list, ma’am! Have a nice day!”

They hung up on me. I didn’t get any more spam calls for the rest of the day!


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Praise Be To The Caller ID

, , , , , | Working | September 8, 2020

At my last job, I worked in a tea house where the manager was also the owner of the business. Like most businesses, we received our fair share of solicitor calls, but we had an advantage for detecting these calls early. The owner’s husband’s name had been put down on some piece of paperwork when opening the business, so we could always tell when a solicitor was calling because they would ask for her husband’s name.

The owner had no tolerance for solicitor calls, so as soon as someone asked for her husband’s name, we would say, “We don’t accept sales calls,” and hang up on them.

There are a lot of things that I do not miss about that job, but hanging up on solicitors and leaving them to wonder how on earth we figured it out so quickly was one of the perks.

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Unfiltered Story #207156

, , | Unfiltered | September 5, 2020

I am helping take care of my brother, who is battling cancer. I am his Power of Attorney, so all of his mail and bills come to me. His address and phone number have been changed to mine so I can handle all of his affairs. Because of this (and my brother’s love for signing up for everything he sees online), I’ve seen a pretty big upswing in telemarketing calls to my cell phone, many of them robot calls. Usually, if you listen all of the way through the message, there’s an option to press a number to be removed from the list. One day while watching television with my husband I get a robo-call advertising a great product that my brother can’t possibly live without (using his name and everything). After listening through the message, the only option is to hit 0 to speak with an representative. I do so.

[Representative]: (heavily accented) Hello there! I see from you push button that you want to be receiving [product]. Yay! You no to be disappointed!

[Me]: Actually, I’d just like you to remove this number from your contact list, please.

[Representative]: (screaming) Go f*** yourself! Go f*** yourself! (the call disconnects)

[Me]: (looking down at the phone) What the…?

[Husband]: Well, that escalated quickly.

Thank… You…?

, , , , , | Working | August 25, 2020

This story is short but sweet. I occasionally get calls that register as potential spam on my phone, but I am waiting to hear back from a job so I pick up.

An automated recording says, “This is a courtesy call to inform you that you have been placed on our do-not-call registry. Thank you and have a nice day.”

My wife overhears the message and says, “Seriously?”

Yep, seriously. They seriously called me to let me know that they were going to stop calling me.

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