Scams Bring The Victim Together

, , , , | Working | June 8, 2017

(I get a call on my cell phone about lowering my credit card interest rates. I don’t actually have a credit card, so I know it’s fake, but I push the button to speak to a representative so I can request to have my number taken off their list. I am treated to a series of ear-piercing numbers, and then I hear this:)

Caller #1: “I only have $200 in credit card bills. I don’t need my rates lowered.”

Me: “Wait, why am I…”

Caller #2: “I don’t have a credit card at all, so I know this is a scam and you should all be ashamed of yourselves! I just want my number taken off your system!”

Me: “Me, too! How many of us are on this call?!”

Caller #2: “There’s at least three of us… What in the world?”

Me: “And we’re all people who got called; I don’t think there’s even a representative on the line!”

(We all start to chuckle.)

Caller #1: “Welcome to America. I don’t believe this.”

Caller #2: “This is actually kind of funny. Well, ladies, this just goes to prove it’s a scam!”

Me: “Sure does!”

Caller #1: “At least we have solidarity!”

(We all wished each other a good day and hung up laughing. In the end it was pretty funny, but I’d really like to know what in the world happened at the call center that we all ended up talking to each other instead of someone working for the outfit!)

Unable To Grant Your Request

, | Orlando, FL, USA | Working | April 5, 2017

(I’m at home when I get the following call from a telemarketer:)

Me: “Hello?”

Telemarketer: “Good afternoon, may I speak with [My Name]?”

Me: “This is she.”

Telemarketer: “Congratulations! You’ve been selected to receive a $3,000 government grant! I will just need to take some of your information before you can receive your money.”

(I immediately know that this is a scam, but I want to get more information from the telemarketer as I intend to report the number to the FTC.)

Me: “Okay. What’s the name of the grant?”

Telemarketer: “The… name?”

Me: “Yeah, grants are usually named after a person or whoever is paying out the grant money. So, what’s the name of the grant?”

Telemarketer: “Um, one moment.”

(I heard her whispering to someone in the background, asking about the name of the grant. They spoke back and forth for a moment before the line abruptly went dead. I guess I derailed the scammers’ script by asking a simple question.)

Their Heart Wasn’t In It

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Right | March 25, 2017

(I work in a fairly large telemarketing office raising money for various charities (eg. cancer council, police citizen’s youth club, etc.) by selling raffle tickets.)

Me: “Good morning, my name is [My Name] and I’m calling on behalf of the Heart Research Institute of Australia. How you doing today, sir?”

Man: “Sorry, don’t have one of them.” *click*

How To Win The War Against Telemarketers: The Next Generation

| Pineville, LA, USA | Working | March 15, 2017

(My phone rings and, even though it’s a number I don’t recognize, I answer it, thinking it may be the oral surgeon’s office confirming my appointment. It turns out to be a telemarketer.)

Telemarketer: *in a foreign accent* “Yes, hello! I’m calling with an offer to save you money on your car insurance!”

Me: “I don’t have a car. Even if I did, I wouldn’t make changes to the insurance without first consulting my husband.”

Telemarketer: “May I speak to your husband, then?”

Me: “No, he’s at work and even if he wasn’t he’s happy with his car insurance.”

Telemarketer: “Well—”

Me: “Look, I have a baby that needs to be changed and fed. Bother someone else.” *click*

(After feeding my son, I grab my phone to call my parents and it rings before I can dial. It’s the same number from before. Not wanting to play this game, I accept the call and immediately put the phone on speaker then hold it toward my ten-month-old.)

Telemarketer: “Yes, hello? I—”

(Before he even finishes his greeting, my son starts squealing.)

Son: *at the top of his lungs* “NUH NUH NUH! PA! PA! PAAAAAAA! NUUUUUUHHHHHH!”

Telemarketer: *click*

Me: *pats Son’s head* “Very good. Now let’s call Pawpaw and tell him how we deal with telemarketers.”

(It’s been a week and that number hasn’t called me since. If they do call again, they’ll get an earful of the same.)

You Can’t Lawyer A Lawyer

| Johannesburg, South Africa | Working | February 16, 2017

Telemarketer: “Hello, sir! This is [Name] from [Insurance Company]. Could I have a few minutes of your time?”

Me: “Yes, what is it?”

Telemarketer: “Sir, I’m here to tell you about our legal cover…”

Me: *interrupting* “I’m not interested.”

Telemarketer: “Why not?”

Me: “I’m a lawyer.”

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