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Plain Kate, And Bonny Kate, And Sometimes Kate The Curst

, , , , , , | Working | December 7, 2020

My name can be easily shortened to a nickname, but I go by the full name. I’m a receptionist in a medical office with two other people who have the same full name, but it’s never an issue because one is a doctor and the other, the office manager, goes by the nickname. It’s pretty easy for us to tell from context who’s needed. For sake of storytelling, let’s say we’re all named Katherine; I go by Katherine, the doctor goes by Katherine, and the office manager goes by Katie.

One day, a nurse comes up to my desk while I’m filing some things. My desk is across the hall from the office manager.

Nurse: “Katie?”

Silence. The manager might not be in her office.

Nurse: “Katie?”

Silence.

Nurse: “Katie!”

Silence.

The nurse leans over my desk and taps my shoulder. 

Nurse: “KATIE!”

Me: *Confused* “What? Are you trying to ask me something?”

Nurse: “Yes! I need to know if our next patient is checked in yet.”

Me: “No, no one’s checked in.”

Nurse: “Okay, thanks… Why didn’t you answer me when I said your name?”

Me: “Because my name’s not Katie. I thought you were looking for the office manager.”

Nurse: “You don’t go by Katie?”

Me: “No, I never have… which is why people have been calling me Katherine for the year I’ve worked here.”

She’d been calling me by my full name for months; I’m not sure why she forgot then!

This Story Is Just Draining

, , , , | Working | December 7, 2020

When I am about twenty-four, someone manages to get my banking info and drains my accounts. Granted, I didn’t have a ton of money, but between my checking and my savings, I think it was close to $2,500. The whole situation is a fiasco from start to finish and I’m honestly still pissed off at the bank because they didn’t catch the drain.

I find the drain when I log into my account to transfer some money so I can pay a couple of bills. I realize the money is gone and immediately call the bank.

Teller: “Thank you for calling [Bank]; this is [Teller].”

Me: “Hi. I just logged into my account, and someone took my money, and I do not recognize the location it was transferred to.”

Teller: “Let me take a look at that.”

She verifies my info and then takes a minute to check my account.

Teller: “Well, I see that there’s a [My Mom] also on your checking account. She probably took it.”

My mom is on my checking account because I opened it before I was sixteen so I needed an adult on the account. She isn’t on my savings account, and even if she was, she would not take my money without asking. And she also wouldn’t drain my checking and then sign into my savings and transfer all of that back into my checking and then once again drain my checking.

Me: “My mom wouldn’t take my money without telling me, and she’s never had access to my savings account. And wouldn’t you be able to tell that it went into her account?”

Teller: “Well, she’s also on the account, so she probably took it.”

Me: “Can you hang on just a moment?”

I put the teller on hold and call my mom on my cell.

Mom: “Hey, aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

Me: “I’ll explain later, but you didn’t take all my money out of my bank accounts, did you?”

Mom: “No?”

Me: “Perfect, thanks. I’ll call you later.”

I end the call with her and get back on the line with the bank teller.

Me: “I just checked with my mom and she didn’t take the money.”

Suddenly, I’m getting more cooperation. The rep realizes that it didn’t go to another account from the bank. In fact, it seems to have gone to a completely different banking institution that I’m still not 100% sure is US-based. Now that they’ve figured that out, suddenly I’m talking with fraud and I have to explain myself about ten more times. I’m also told to go to my local branch the next day because I need to close my accounts and open new ones.

The next day, I’m down at the bank and we get things handled with closing the account and reopening a new one. Then, I’m told that they have to investigate and will get back to me as soon as possible. I am so stressed and not thinking clearly, so I don’t raise a fuss about the fact that I don’t even get supplemental funds.

A few days later, I’m still stressed because I’ve been dealing with cancelling anything that was set to autopay and changing information and double-checking that they didn’t manage to steal my identity, as well — thankfully, the only thing that came out of that situation was that they stole my money and managed to get my email address added to a bunch of random spam — and kind of getting the runaround from the bank.

I’m stressed as all get out, my boss isn’t being all that helpful in this, and generally, I’m just miserable. I get home one day and find a letter from the bank that says they’ve concluded their investigation and decided there has been no error. I lose it and call the number on the letter

Representative: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. How can I help tonight?”

I give her my name and my account information. I’m in tears throughout this.

Me: “I just got a letter from you guys that said there was no fraud detected. How could there have been no fraud detected? I’ve spoken to your fraud department, I’ve spoken to the branch manager at my local branch, and I spoke to another rep who admitted something wasn’t right. How in the h*** can you tell me there’s no fraud detected?”

Representative: “If they’ve determined there was no fraud, then that was the conclusion of their investigation.”

Me: “Even though I was speaking with fraud and they said there was fraud?”

Representative: “The only thing I can do is request they reopen the investigation. You’ll need to call your branch tomorrow.”

Me: “Reopen it, then. This is not okay.”

I get off the phone. I am NOT happy. Admittedly, I probably could have handled that call a little better; she didn’t have anything to do with the investigation. But in my defense, I’ve been getting a run around for a week and am not getting much help from anywhere. The next day, I call the manager at my branch.

Manager: “This is [Manager].”

Me: “Hey, [Manager], it’s [My Name]. Listen, I got a letter last night that said an investigation had been completed and no fraud had been detected.”

Manager: “That’s not good. Let me look into it and I’ll call you back.”

A couple hours passed and she did call me back. It turned out that the letter didn’t mean exactly what we’d thought. All it meant was that that specific department hadn’t determined fraud — it had been routed to a check investigation team or something like that — but my case was still being investigated.

They finally completed their investigation — the whole thing took them almost six weeks — and I did get my money back, but boy, was I ticked at that bank. I’m still mostly convinced that the reason it took so long was that it kept getting bounced to different departments because no one wanted to admit that they’d effed up because they didn’t catch the drain.

I mean, they flagged my card one time because I’d purchased some books for school and instead of reading it as a $65 charge, it apparently tried to read it as a $6,500 charge, which is too large to purchase online without authorization, apparently. But they didn’t catch someone draining my entire account?

Field Trips Are Great Opportunities For Learning!

, , , , , | Learning | December 4, 2020

The high school sports team I coach has a competition on the other side of the state, so we stay in a few rooms of a hotel the night before. Around ten at night, a few of the girls knock on my door.

Girls: “We heard some weird noises. We’re scared.”

Me: “I’ll check it out.”

We go to their hotel room, and they point me in the direction of the bathroom. Sure enough, I hear a noise through the wall, but being an adult, I know what it is, and try to figure out how to tell the very naïve girls. Most students at this school are pretty sheltered, and these girls are no exception. I decide to keep it somewhat vague.

Me: “Um, it’s nothing to be scared of. It would seem that some people find this hotel… romantic.”

Girls: *Giggling* “You mean, like, a couple’s on their honeymoon or something? Ew!”

I shrugged non-committedly and kept to myself that I only heard one person, and assuming the neighboring room’s layout was the same, the noise was coming from the direction of the bathroom.

Time To Change Your Name, I Guess

, , , , , | Working | December 3, 2020

My parents, two brothers, and I are flying to visit some family. We have an early flight, so we have to be at the airport before most of the gate agents are in and manning the stations. The airline we are flying with does have a self-check-in option, which we try to use.

My dad has all the info and starts quickly getting everyone scanned in, getting the claim tickets for the checked bags we have, etc. Things go just fine for him, my mom, and me. He starts trying to check in my brothers and the system starts giving notices about needing to talk to someone.

My dad starts selecting the “help wanted” button on the machine. Nothing happens. He can’t continue checking anyone in, there are no other errors on the screen, and it won’t let him cancel or start over. He then goes up to the counter and we have to wait another five minutes before someone finally comes up to the counter.

My dad explains what is going on and the agent asks for all our information, even for the ones that have already been checked in. The attendant starts typing and pauses, kind of side-eyes my family, and types some more. After a few minutes of typing and side-eyeing, my dad asks him what’s going on. The attendant glances at his screen and takes a breath and asks:

Attendant: “Which of you is [Brother #1]?

Brother #1: “Uh, that’s me.”

The attendant blinks a couple of times and starts typing again. My dad asks what is going on. It turns out that someone with the same name as my brother is on the no-fly list! We weren’t able to check in because the system had flagged him. The attendant made some more notes and got both my brothers checked in, and we got to the gate and had a great vacation.

Of course, now, almost any time my brother flies, he has to go up to the counter and prove to them that he’s not really the one on the no-fly list. He usually adds another thirty to sixty minutes to the time he has to be at the airport, just in case there are lines at the counter.

Eye Would Rather You Didn’t

, , , , , , | Learning | December 2, 2020

At the start of the second grade, when I am around seven or eight, my class has its first music class of the year. Our regular teacher takes us down to the music room, and we go in to meet our music teacher. She is very friendly and introduces herself with a little speech.

Teacher: “Some of you might have noticed that I only look at you with one of my eyes. I know people get curious about that, so I’ll tell you why right now: this eye—”

She taps the one not “looking” at us.

Teacher: “—is a fake eye made of glass. I had cancer when I was a child so doctors had to take out my real eye, and I have this one, instead. I’m not telling you because I want you to feel sorry for me; I’m doing just fine with one glass eye and one real eye. I just don’t want you to be scared and confused… like when I was your age and also had a teacher with a glass eye, but he didn’t tell the class. One day, the principal needed to talk to him. Right before he left the classroom, he took out his glass eye, put it on his desk, and told us, ‘I’ll be right back, but I’m keeping my eye on you.'”

Looking back, I appreciate her honesty and how understanding she was of childhood curiosity… but I also wonder if it was hard for her to resist pulling the same prank as her teacher did!