Me: “Do you have a Crown Club Card?”
Customer: “Crown Club? More like Clown Club! What a worthless program!”
Me: “Actually, if you had a Club Card today, you would get a coupon for a small popcorn for $1.”
Customer: “Where do I sign up?”
This story is part of the Customers With Wild Mood Swings roundup!
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Me: “Thank you for calling [Video Rental Place]. How can I help you?”
Caller: “Have you seen District 9?”
Me: “Yes, I have. Do you have questions about it?”
Caller: “Is this some sort of Australian joke?”
Me: “I beg your pardon?”
Caller: “All this movie has been is interviews with government people and aliens wearing brassieres! Am I watching some weird special feature or is this some kind of Australian joke?”
Me: “Well, the movie is in a documentary style and that definitely sounds like the beginning of the movie. If you want, you can come down to the store and exchange it for no charge.”
Caller: “Thank you very much. Those Australians have a weird sense of humor, man. I should know… I used to be married to a Brit and they’re strange, too!”
Me: “All right, sir, you have a good night.”
Caller: “Okay. I will put in a decent movie now which is not an Australian joke.”
Customer: “Excuse me, miss. Could you help me out here?”
Me: “Sure, ma’am. Did you need anything else?”
Customer: “No, it’s just that I really don’t like my sushi at all.”
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, that’s one of our most popular items on the menu. Would you mind telling me what’s wrong with it?”
Customer: “There’s raw fish in it.”
This story is part of the American States roundup!
Me: “Hello, sir, can I take your order?”
Customer: “Uh, yeah… can I have two whole roast chickens?”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we are all out at the moment. If you come back in thirty minutes, there will be some chickens available.”
Customer: “But what about those chickens over there?” *points at plastic display chickens*
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but those are display chickens. They are not real.”
Customer: *raises voice* “I reckon those chickens are real and you’re just trying to keep them for yourself!”
(The customer stabs the chicken with a plastic knife from our tray. A chunk of polystyrene is taken out.)
Customer: “Oh, I guess you were telling the truth. I’ll come back in half an hour.”
This story is part of the American States roundup!
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