We’ll Take Off Like A Wrecking Ball…

, , , , | Right | March 14, 2018

(I’m a passenger on an airplane that’s about to take off. The flight attendant is explaining the safety procedures, and decides to make sure everyone is listening.)

Flight Attendant: “Wear your seatbelt low and tight across your hips, just like Miley Cyrus’s mini-skirt!”

(The elderly woman seated next to me cracked up laughing!)

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Unfiltered Story #107063

, , | Unfiltered | March 12, 2018

(I own a sub shop and ask every customer how their day is, this one was exceptional, this customer is a regular and not at all friendly usually grumpy!)

Me: “How are you this evening?”

Customer: “Fat, thanks for asking.”

(Not a smile on his face he ordered his sub and left and I am still laughing.)

Unfiltered Story #106924

, | Unfiltered | March 7, 2018

(My name is Savannah named after the movie Savannah Smiles. My step-dad is working one day in a small town when he has this interaction with a customer.)

Step-Dad: I need to see your ID to complete your order.

Customer: *Hands over ID*

Step-Dad: *Looks at ID* My Step-Daughter has the same name.

Customer: Oh? Do you know where she got the name?

Step-Dad: The movie Savannah Smiles.

Customer: That’s me.

Step-Dad: Excuse me?

Customer: That movie. My Dad wrote it about me. I am Savannah. I was supposed to play the girl but by the time he finished writing it I was too old.

Step-Dad: Oh that’s really cool.

(Just then her phone rings and it’s her Dad. She puts him on speaker and my Step-Dad talks to him about how I was named after the movie. After work, my Step-Dad calls my Mom and tells her about the whole conversation. We had never really bothered to look up all that was in the movie, my Mom just loved the name and the movie. While my Step-Dad’s talking about the conversation he says that they are going to remake the movie. The movie was made in the 80’s and the Dad was well into his 70’s by the time the movie was made. So that would put him well into his 90’s by today’s date. It turns out one of his favorite things is finding out that kids are named after the movie.)

(It’s a few months later and we go to visit my Step-Dad and drop off some lunch. He’s with a customer and he quickly leaves the customer and comes up to us. He’s really excited and says that he’s helping Savannah from the movie. So we go up and chat with her. She’s a nice lady, and it’s obvious that my Mom is so excited to meet the daughter of the man who wrote the movie. So she asks for a picture. I am almost 5′ and she is almost 6′. So it’s a bit of a strange awkward picture, but my Mom is happy. We find out that her Dad comes up to visit and he would love to meet us. We’re still waiting on that, but I’m certain that my Mom’s going to be the most excited.)

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A New Definition Of Puppy Love, Part 2

, , , , , | Working | March 6, 2018

(We’ve had several large meetings scheduled in the building’s biggest conference room for today. Unfortunately, the projector and the screens in said conference room have also both chosen today to break down, so we’ve been frantically trying to find other venues for everyone. After five hours of scouring calendars, booking new rooms, and redirecting people to the alternate locations, I’m feeling pretty burned out. At this point, one of the regular employees comes in pushing an animal carrier.)

Worker: “Afternoon, [My Name]… Wow. You’re not looking well.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s been… a trying day. I’ve had to relocate most of the staff here, forcing them to waste time and, in some cases, gas, to get to other locations, while the technicians are busy making that lovely racket you’re hearing, trying to figure out why nothing wants to work in our conference rooms.”

Worker: “D***… Sounds like you could use a pick-me-up. Hmm…” *he looks down at the animal carrier* “Technically, pets aren’t allowed in the building, right?”

Me: “Uh… Well, technically, yes… but the owners really don’t care if anyone does bring one in. Why?”

(The worker opens the case and takes out a sleepy newborn puppy.)

Worker: “I was going to bring this fella up to say hello to the office while I grabbed some files, but I think he’d do more good for you right now.”

(He reaches over the reception desk and plops the puppy in my lap. It looks up at me, licks my hand, then curls up and goes back to sleep.)

Worker: “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

(He goes up to his floor, leaving me with a warm, adorable ball of fluff to pet until he returns a while later.)

Worker: “Feeling better now?”

(I’m so absorbed in cooing over the puppy I almost jump at his voice.)

Me: “Uh… Surprisingly, yes. So much so, I’m almost annoyed I have to hand him over now.”

Worker: *laughs* “Obviously, it worked, then. I’ll make sure to bring him back soon, so you can remain acquainted.”

(I reluctantly handed the puppy back over; however, I also spent the rest of the day feeling so much happier than before. I make sure to let that worker know how much I appreciate little gestures like that every time I see him, and I also keep a small bag of doggie treats on hand for when he brings his pet in with him.)

A New Definition Of Puppy Love

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Don’t “Play” With Their Settings

, , , , , | Working | March 5, 2018

(Where I work, we clock in and out via a program on the computer in the back office. This is also the same computer that new employees sometimes use to watch training videos. We’re a small enough store that this rarely causes an issue, but on this particular day a new hire happens to be watching a video on the computer when I have to clock out at the end of my shift.)

Me: “Can I get in there just for a sec to clock out?”

New Hire: “Sure!”

(She scoots her chair back to allow me access to the computer. I lean in, pause her video, pull up the window to clock out, then bring the window with her video back up when I’m done. However, rather than playing the video, she just sits there staring at the screen for a moment.)

New Hire: “Um… How do I…?”

(Internally face-palming, I lean in again to click the play button on her video for her.)

New Hire: “Oh! Thank you!”

(Now, the new hire was middle-aged, and I understand that older generations sometimes struggle with new technology. But the concept of pressing a play button to make a video play has been around, in one form or another, for decades. How does one get this far in life without making that connection?)

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