Overstayed Your Medicaid

, , , | Healthy | December 23, 2017

(After our son is born:)

Nurse: *to my wife* “And I’m just confirming that the baby is covered by your insurance for at least 21 days?”

Wife: “Yes, that’s correct.”


Doctor #1: “Hi, Mom & Dad! Congratulations! I’m [Doctor] and just here to look over the little guy. Oh, he’s a cutie!” *examines the baby for five minutes* “Well, everything looks good. Congratulations again!”

(Even later:)

Doctor #2: “Hello! I’m [Doctor #2]. I’m here to examine [something else] with your son. Congratulations, by the way! Oh, he’s a handsome guy!” *examines baby for five minutes* “Well, everything looks good. He seems to be doing great!”

(Later still:)

Doctor #3: “He’s doing great, but his levels aren’t quite where we would really like them to be. I’m going to keep you guys here for another night to monitor him.”

(Months later we start seeing bills from pediatricians whose names we didn’t recognize at all for “neonatal exam” and other odd things. Two years later our daughter is born in the same hospital.)

Nurse: *to my wife* “And I’m just confirming that the baby is covered by your insurance for at least 21 days?”

Wife: “No, I’m on a self-funded plan so that isn’t the case. We’ll be putting her on the state-based Medicaid plan with her brother and coverage will be retroactive to her birthday.”

(Later, as in less than 24 hours after the birth:)

Nurse: “Looks like you guys get to go home today! Just so you know, her levels aren’t quite where we would want them to be so you’ll need to set up an appointment with your primary care pediatrician to have her checked within the next day. Congratulations again!”

(The next day at our pediatrician’s office:)

Pediatrician: “Why in the world would they discharge you with her levels like this? This is very concerning to me. She needed another night in the hospital. Did any pediatricians at the hospital look at her?”

Wife: “Just one. Weird, because last time we saw like four or five; they’d just pop in and we’d never see them again.”

Pediatrician: “These numbers are not good. We need to get her to the ER today.”

(Off to the ER (at a different hospital) and our new-born daughter had to stay the night for some urgent treatment. She’s fine now but the lesson is learned that we mention Medicaid to the hospital with extreme caution.)

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Sounds Like Soggy Stockings To Me

, , , , , , , , | Related | December 20, 2017

(My partner and I don’t do Christmas, but due to over-saturation in the media, our three-year-old daughter knows all about it. She is also a very sweet and observant kid.)

Daughter: “Mama, what do you want to ask Santa to bring for Christmas?”

Me: “Nothing. I already have everything I need.”

Daughter: “Maybeeee… coffee.”

Me: *laughs* “That’s a good present.”

Daughter: “Daddy, what do you want to ask Santa to bring for Christmas?”

Partner: “Nothing. I have everything I need.”

Daughter: “Maybeeee… Gatorade.”

(We laughed. The kid knows our favorite drinks!)

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Farming Out The Same Old Story

, , , , , | Romantic | December 17, 2017

(My wife has had her car for nine years and is very sentimentally attached to it, but it has to go, as its transmission has just failed, and it is far too small to haul around the coming baby. I manage to find a buyer for just a couple hundred bucks who’ll use it until it’s kaput and then junk it. I sign the papers, take the money, and shake hands with the guy, and then call my wife at work as he drives off.)

Me: “Hi, honey. It’s sold and gone.”

Wife: “Where are they taking it?”

Me: “I assume to his home?”

Wife: “Is he taking it to a farm?”

Me: *catching on* “Yes. To a nice farm where there will be lots of space for it to drive around with other cars and play all day.”

Wife: “And it can chase scooters and cyclists?”

Me: “You bet. It might even catch a few.”

Wife: “Okay, I feel better, then. See you tonight.”

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Unfiltered Story #101656

, , | Unfiltered | December 16, 2017

Saleswoman: “So are you thinking that’s the guitar you want?”

Me: “Yeah, I believe so.”

Saleswoman: “Very good choice. Is this your first guitar bought from us?”

Me: “The first *guitar* I’ve bought from you, yes.”

Saleswoman: “Okay, well we give free string changes and setups for the life of the instrument on every guitar we sell here, and since this guitar has a floating bridge, you’ll have to reset the intonation with every string change. I’d imagine you know how to change your own strings but given the added complexity on this particular model, this policy of ours can come in handy.”

Me: “That actually sounds like a pretty good idea; I’ll be sure to make use of that.”

(Over the course of the next three years, I have that store do all but one of my string changes on said guitar–at least 7-8 times per year. That specific saleswoman did the string change herself maybe twice; it was nearly always a different salesperson who took care of it for me. Those exchanges went like this every time:)

Me: “I need the strings on my guitar changed.”

Salesperson: “Did you buy it from us?”

Me: “Yup.”

Salesperson: *gets my name, looks me up in the system* “Okay, there you are. Great. I’ll have this ready for you and give you a call in [estimated time].”

(After three years I moved out of the city, which made it harder to make a trip to that store for string changes. After a little more than a year, I finally get fed up enough with the dead strings that I set time aside to head in. I walk up and set the case on the counter and speak with a salesman.)

Me: “Hi there, just need the strings changed on my guitar. It’s one I purchased from you guys.”

Salesman #1: *gives an odd look to the “I bought it from you” comment but he proceeds. “Okay, so string change on a normal six string, that will come to $[amount]–you want to take care of that now or when you pick it up?”

Me: “Uh, no. I bought the guitar from you. String changes should be free.”

Salesman #1: “Why would they be free if you bought it from us?”

Me: “Isn’t that the deal with any guitars you sell here? Free setups and string changes for the life of the instrument?”

(He claims ignorance and calls over another salesman which he regards with some level of authority and explains the situation. I recognize neither of these guys, by the way, and I’d been a customer there for at least 8 years by this point–not having been there for a year prior to this notwithstanding).

Salesman #2: “I’ve been here for almost three years and I’ve never heard of that policy.”

Me: “I bought this guitar four years ago from here, the saleswoman who sold it to me told me that was part of the deal, and that’s what’s been done without question since.”

Salesman #2: (gets my name, looks me up in the system) “Oh, well it was [Saleswoman] who sold this to you, I’m seeing.”

Me: “That’s correct.”

Salesman #2: “I don’t see any notes or anything here about free string changes.”

Me: “Would there need to be if it’s a store-wide policy?”

Salesman #2: “That must have been some promotion she was doing for her customers, but she hasn’t worked here in almost two years now, so since she’s gone any promotions she gave out would be void.”

Me: “It was not a personal promotion. It was explained to me to be a store-wide policy.”

Salesman #2: “Like I said, I’ve been here for years and I’ve never heard of that before. It must have been her thing. I guess we can do the strings for you this one time as a courtesy but we won’t be able to do it again.”

Me: *fuming* “Fine.”

(Of course I’ve never been back, and the several hundred dollars in equipment purchases I’ve made since have been through other stores.)

You Can’t Stay Here And That’s The Naked Truth

, , , , | Right | December 15, 2017

(It’s May, and a guest walks in to get a room. I go about putting in the info and pulling up his name then see that he’s on our “Do Not Rent” list. I tell him I can’t rent to him and he’d have to stay at another hotel.)

Guest: *in a whiny voice* “But why?!”

Me: “Well, it’s noted that you were seriously intoxicated the whole time, you wouldn’t stay in your room, and you were naked through it all.”

Guest: “But that’s what I wanted to do.”

Me: “Well, you can’t do that here.”

Guest: “But I came here to be safe!”

Me: “But all our other guests obviously don’t feel safe with you around.”

Guest: “Well, how long ago was that?”

Me: “Last February.”

Guest: “But that was so long ago!”

(By this point I’m looking at him like he’s an idiot.)

Me: “Not really.”

Guest: “What am I supposed to do, then?!”

Me: “Go to another hotel.”

Guest: “But—”

Me: “There’s one down the street.”

Guest: *quietly* “Thank you.” *walks out*

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