Unfiltered Story #93332

, , | Unfiltered | September 7, 2017

(I work at a detox facility that regularly checked people’s vitals. I have a group of men that I am checking. I’m not following their whole conversation.)

Patient #1: “At least we’re still alive.”

Me: *whispering* “For now.”

(Cue [Patient #1]’s eyes widening as I realize what I’ve said and don’t know what else to say. Sometimes my dark humor gets the best of me.)

Changing Insurance Companies Is Hellish

, , , , | Working | September 5, 2017

(My phone rings in the middle of the day. The person calling sounds incredibly cheerful and happy.)

Caller: “Good morning! I’m calling in regards to your car.” *lists make and model* “Our records indicate you haven’t extended its coverage past the factory default.”

Me: “Yes, that’s because I’ve got it covered by [other insurance company].”

(There is a rustling of papers, and the caller then says the following in the same overly cheerful and upbeat voice.)

Caller: “I see… well, in that case, f*** you, and I hope you burn in Hell!” *click*

You’ve Been Brandied A Problem Customer

, , , , , | Right | September 4, 2017

(I work at a small local store that specializes in multiple types of gourmet booze [which basically translates to any brand and type you wouldn’t find in a normal grocery store]. One day I get that customer we all know and love: a barely 20-something-year-old with no ID, who can’t understand why we won’t sell any booze to him. He gets verbal, but after my manager steps in and basically tells him to either produce ID or talk to the police, the guy leaves. Fast forward to my shift the next day.)

Customer: “Bottle of [Expensive Brandy] please.”

(I look up and am taken aback to see it’s the same guy again.)

Me: “Do you have your ID this time?”

Customer: “It’s in my car. What do you mean ‘this time’?”

Me: “Sir, we went over this yesterday. If we think you’re underage, we need to see your ID.”

Customer: “…D*** it, I didn’t think you were smart enough to remember me!”

(He storms out and my shift continues without further drama. Fast forward to next weekend and…)

Customer: “Hey, you got any [Same Expensive Brandy] in?”

(Yep, same guy, except this time he’s wearing a hat that’s pulled down low to shadow his face.)

Me: “That depends; do you have your ID with you this time?”

Customer: “I’ve never been in here before!”

Me: “Sir, you spoke to me less than seven days ago.”

Customer: “…you still remember that?”

Me: “It’s hard to forget you when you keep coming in here and trying the same thing, over and over again. Not to mention that, even if I didn’t, the rules aren’t going to change. You want your brandy, you need ID.”

(More cursing and swearing as the guy stormed out again. Later on the store owner got a complaint letter saying he needed to fire the “smart-a**es who keep ruining everyone’s weekend.”)

The Excuses Are Just As Overboard

, , , , | Related | September 3, 2017

(My dad and I have been jokingly accusing my mom of going overboard for my dad’s 50th birthday party. The day before the party, my mom’s two friends, whom I refer to as aunts, come over to help her get ready. That evening I walk downstairs, and there are decorations up everywhere.)

Mom: “How does it look?”

Me: “Looks like you and your friends had fun.”

Mom: “It’s not my fault! I just bought those few things from [Store], and then I called [Aunt] and asked if she still had things from [Cousin]’s casino-themed party.”

Me: “Sounds like you still instigated.”

Mom: “I didn’t expect her to bring EVERYTHING, plus things from her own 50th, plus some other things! And then while we were putting stuff up, she starts going ‘Oh, you shouldn’t use this one. Here, let me make you this, and make you this while I’m at it.’ It’s her fault, not mine.”

Me: “Are you practicing on me for when Dad gets home?”

Mom: “Yes, does it sound convincing? It’s really not my fault, though.”

Unfiltered Story #92601

, , , | Unfiltered | September 2, 2017

(Background: I was shopping for a car. I foolishly allowed myself to be put through a high-pressure situation that ate up most of my Saturday as I was slowly guilted (yes, guilted) into nearly buying a car that was WAY outside of my budget. I didn’t have the self-confidence to control the situation, nor the knowledge of my options and power as the consumer, and the salesman took full advantage of it. He also, through the course of conversation, learned that I was (am) a Christian and in an attempt to connect with me he mentioned that he “goes to church, too.” I came to my senses regarding the sale and walked away when I was able to get away from him for about 30 minutes and was about to sign the financing. I booked it out of the dealership before the salesman could find out what happened and catch me in his claws again. However, he proceeded to call me and leave me no less than 8 voice mails over the next day and a half trying to get me to come back in and rework the sale. I did call him back once–after probably the fifth voicemail–to try to put an end to it but he wasn’t taking “no” for an answer. The following Monday I’m browsing around other car lots and hear my phone ring. I answer the phone reflexively before I can think about it. As soon as I accept the call, but before anyone says anything, I know who it is.)

ME: “. . . (sigh) . . . Hello?”

SALESMAN: “HEEEEEEEEEEEEEY [MY NAME]! How you doing? This is [Salesman] over at [Dealership] and I was thinking about our DEAL–”

ME: [hangs up]

(The phone rang again about 10 seconds later and I let it go to voicemail. I listened to it later.)

SALESMAN: (very calm) “Hey there, [my name]. This is [Salesman] down at [dealership]. Hey I’m just so sorry that you feel so bad . . . in dealing with me . . . that AS A CHRISTIAN you think it’s okay to just hang up on me and not even give me the day of time [sic]. But you know what? That’s fine, man. I hope you have a nice life and that you find the car that you’re looking for. Bye.”

(Never heard from him again, thank goodness. Important car-buying lessons learned, and a great story gained, as a result, though).

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