Has A Head For Trouble

, , , , | Learning | December 6, 2017

(It is the early 1990s and we are getting a tour of a prosthetic limb plant as part of a group experience for school. Ages range from six to ten.)

Rep: “Anyone have any questions about [prosthetic]? Yes, you in the back.”

Six-Year-Old: “Do you make prosthetic heads?”

Rep: “Oh, sweetie, no. We don’t make prosthetic heads.”

Six-Year-Old: “But why not?”

You Can’t Snake Around This Behavior

, , , | Learning | December 5, 2017

(My son has a pet snake that his younger sister adores. She is only seven, but she already wants to work with them when she’s older. Her class has a school trip to a local zoo, which has a reptile exhibit. My daughter is extremely excited about it the morning of the trip, but comes home early with a teacher. She has been crying, and she runs up to her bedroom before saying a word. The teacher asks to have a word with me.)

Teacher: “Your daughter has an unhealthy obsession that you need to correct.”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t follow.”

Teacher: “SNAKES! It’s all she would talk about! The first place she wanted to go was the snake exhibit!”

Me: “And that’s a problem? She wants to work with them when she’s older.”

Teacher: “I hate them! It isn’t normal. I told her never to speak of them again, or I would send her home.”

Me: “Is that why you brought her home? Did she even see the exhibit?”

Teacher: “Of course not. I don’t encourage deviant behaviour!”

Me: “No, you just crushed my daughter’s aspirations to work with animals because of your own opinions about them. The exact opposite of what a teacher should do.”

Teacher: *blushes*

Me: “I’ll be speaking with the school before I move her to a better school. Now if you could please leave.”

(I called the school the second she left and filed a complaint. In the next week before I removed my daughter, the teacher tried to get her excluded for being aggressive and physically violent with the other kids, which didn’t work, as there were other teachers on the trip too who vouched for me. The last I heard, the teacher was suspended temporarily, and then moved to a role where she didn’t need to work with children, which apparently is common at that school. It has a larger administration staff than teachers. My daughter is much happier at her new school, and my son leaves the snake with her while he is at university.)

Enclosed In A Guilt Cage

, , , , , , , | Learning | November 15, 2017

I am at a zoo with my school to learn about the animals, and one of the volunteers asks if there are any questions. I can’t remember my exact question, but I say something about “cages.”

The woman goes very stern and says, “We say, ‘enclosures!’”

Guilty, much?

Your Realization Skills Are Out Of Gas

, , , , , , | Learning | November 14, 2017

(I’m in college, coming back from a cross-country meet with my teammates. Our school is small, so we take two mini-buses and have our coach and assistant coach drive them. I’m on the bus with our assistant coach, only about five minutes away from home, when we run out of gas. We pull over to the side of the road and try to call our coach and his wife. Another truck pulls over and my assistant coach goes to talk to the driver.)

Assistant Coach: “Thanks for stopping; we have a bit of a problem, here!”

Truck Driver: “Hey, do you know what time the cafeteria closes at [Other College in our town]?”

Assistant Coach: “Uh, no. We’re actually from [College], but we’re kind of out of gas.”

Truck Driver: “Oh, yeah? I’m running a bit low, too. Thanks, anyway.” *drives away*

(Eventually, our coach’s wife did bring us some gas. I still wonder if that guy eventually realized we were asking him for help.)

An Opportunity To Spot The Elusive Canadian Giraffe

, , , | Learning | October 15, 2017

(We are on a field trip to a sanctuary with our summer camp, where the students can see some of the local wildlife. Since we focus a lot on reading, we’re trying to get the students to read the posters about the animals. One of my younger students looks into an area where he can see white tailed deer fawn that still has spots.)

Student: “What animal is that?”

Me: “It says on the poster; try to read it.”

(The student looks at the picture, then at the animal, then back to me.)

Student: “Is that a giraffe?”

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