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General Knowledge Generally Gets You In Trouble

, , , , , | Right | October 15, 2010

Customer: “Hello, do you work here?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. I don’t.”

Customer: “Then why do you have so many books in your hands?”

Me: “I am about to purchase them.”

Customer: “You read?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Then you must work here.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t.”

Customer: *picking up one of the books in my arms* “J.D. Salinger? Who’s that?”

Me: “An author. He wrote Catcher in the Rye.”

Customer: “See! You do work here! You know what books he wrote!”


This story is part of the “What Are They Teaching In School These Days?!” roundup!

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At Least His Answer Is In The Right Aria

, , , , , , , , | Learning Right | October 14, 2010

(I am giving a tour of the opera house to a group of fifth-graders. We are backstage and we pass a large service elevator, generally used to transport grand pianos, costume racks, etc.)

Me: “So, guys, who can think of a reason why the opera needs such a big elevator?”

*silence*

Kid In The Back: “Because there are REALLY BIG PEOPLE in operas!”


This story is part of our “Kids say embarrassing things” roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Hilarious Stories About Sisters, And How We Love/Hate Them!

 

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Like Two Beans In A Pod

, , , | Right | September 7, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [Coffee Shop]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, hi, is this the one on Main Street in downtown?”

Me: “We’re actually part of a shopping center that is on the corner of Main Street but we’re several miles from downtown.”

Caller: “Oh, well, what’s the one on Main Street?”

Me: “I don’t believe there is a [Coffee Shop] on Main Street downtown.”

Caller: “Yes; yes, there is, I know there’s one on Main Street! How do I get there?”

Me: “There is a [Other Leading Coffee Chain] on Main Street downtown. Is that what you mean?”

Caller: “Yes! Can you call them for me? What’s their address?”

Me: “I don’t know. We’re separate companies.”

Caller: “But you both serve coffee! Doesn’t that make you the same?”


This story is part of the Ignorant Coffee Customers roundup!

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With Customers Like These, Who Needs Anemones

, , , , | Right | September 3, 2010

Guest: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

Me: “Hi there! Do you have a question?”

Guest: “Yes. What is this?” *points to a specimen*

Me: “That is called a sea anemone.”

Guest: “Oh…” *walks away, only to walk back a few moments later* “What are they the enemies of?”


This story is included in our Aquarium roundup!

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Taking Their Sweet Time

, , , , | Right | August 1, 2010

Customer: “I’m looking for a book called Like Watery Chocolate For Chocolately Water or something.”

Me:Like Water For Chocolate by Laura Esquivel?”

Customer: “Um… no… it’s by this Mexican author.”

Me: “Yes, Laura Esquivel. The book is Like Water For Chocolate.”

Customer: “No, it has all these recipes in it.”

Me: “Yes. Like Water For Chocolate by Laura Esquivel.’

Customer: “No, it has, like, this blue cover.”

Me: “Yes. Like Water For Chocolate by Laura Esquivel. I can take you right to it, ma’am.”

Customer: “No, that’s not it! They’re making a movie out of it!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. The book is Like Water For Chocolate.”

Customer: “No! Oh, you’re just no help at all!” *stomps off*


This story is part of our Bad-Listener Customers roundup!

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