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Sick Of Waiting

, , , , , , , | Right | June 4, 2010

(A woman is several places back in line with her son who is about eight years old.)

Customer’s Son: “Mom? I don’t feel good.”

Customer: “Hang on, honey. Mommy is going to get her coffee and then she will take you to the restroom.”

Customer’s Son: “Mom? I feel really sick.”

(I look up and see the boy is very pale and breathing heavy.)

Me: “Ma’am? If you would like to take your son to the restroom, we will save your place in line.”

Customer: “No, it’s okay. We will wait.”

Customer’s Son: “Mom. I really need the bathroom. I don’t feel good.”

Customer: “Honey, just wait. We’ll be done in a few minutes.”

Manager: “Ma’am, please take your son to the restroom. We’ll make your drink while you are in there. On the house. Please!”

Customer: “No! He will have to wait.”

(The customer’s son begins to gag and the customers near him move away from, all of them begging her to take him to the restroom immediately. A few even offer to take him themselves.)

Customer: “I said no! He is just doing this for attention. If you ignore him he will stop.”

Me: “Ma’am, for the last time. Please take your son to the–”

(The customer’s son bends over and begins vomiting on the floor.)

Manager: “Please! Get him out of here!”

Customer: “But I don’t want to lose my place in line.”

Manager: “Ma’am, either get him to the restroom or get him outside. Now!”

Customer: *in a huff* “Well, fine! He’s only doing this for attention!”

(The customer comes out five minutes later leading her fully-recovered son by the hand. As I finish mopping the boy’s breakfast off the floor, she collects her free coffee drink, smiles, and leaves, calling out…)

Customer: “Thank you very much. See you all tomorrow!”


This story is part of our Terrible Parents roundup!

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Inn-Experienced Guest

, , , , , | Right | May 11, 2010

Customer: “Yes, I’d like a room for the night.”

Me: “Okay, the rate for tonight is [price].”

Customer: *confused* “You mean it’s not free?”

Me: “No, it’s [price].”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Not free?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Do the people upstairs know about this?”

Me: “Yes. They all paid the same thing.”

Customer: *walking away* “Crazy people.”


This story is part of our Weird Hotel Guests roundup!

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A Not So Bitter End

, , , , | Right | April 28, 2010

Customer: “Are you in charge of the salad bar?”

Me: “Of course. I make sure all the food is fresh. Was something wrong?”

Customer: “Your dressings are too sweet!”

Me: “We buy our dressings pre-packaged, but it is possible that something went wrong somewhere along the way. Which one was it?”

Customer: “The dressing!”

Me: “They are all too sweet?”

Customer: “Were you born simple? The dressing is sweet!”

Me: “Is it red, orange, white, or brown?”

Customer: “The brown one is too sweet!”

Me: “That’s the balsamic vinaigrette. It shouldn’t be sweet at all, but I will pull it and put out a new container of dressing for you.”

Customer: “Thank you! Was that so difficult?”

(I begin to pull the only brown dressing we have and she stops me.)

Customer: “My God, you are such an idiot! You’re pulling the wrong d*** dressing!”

Me: “You said the brown dressing, right? I am pulling the brown dressing like you asked.”

Customer: “Not that dressing, you idiot, this brown dressing. You are so stupid!” *points*

Me: “You mean the chocolate pudding?”

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Welcome To HAL Industries

, , , , | Right | March 3, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. May I have the e-mail address on your account, please?”

(Note that the caller sounds to be about thirteen years old.)

Caller: “Are you a computer or a real person?”

Me: “I’m a real person. I live in [Town]. I love sushi, and I like to knit. How can I help you tonight?”

Caller: “Are you sure you’re not a really good computer?”

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He Who Shall Not Be Sprayed

, , , , | Right | February 24, 2010

Customer: “I would like to use my upgrades to spray tan.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t do that anymore. Our new system doesn’t allow us to.”

Customer: “Well, just type in your magic code or something!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry. It physically won’t let us do that.”

Customer: “You don’t have a magic code?”

Me: “No, sorry.”

Customer: “But you look like Hermione from that magic movie…”

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