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When You Refuse To Be Benched

, , , , | Friendly | November 25, 2025

This all happened long enough ago that I don’t recall my exact age, but I was in either first or second grade. My mom’s work schedule had changed recently, and because of that, she could now pick me up from school and take me to a playground right afterwards, one day a week. It was during one of these playground visits that I first met a child I’m going to call Bob.

I’d seen Bob sitting on a bench just watching the other kids playing, and I ran up to him to ask him to play. He agreed, and we had so much fun that I asked if he could have his parents bring him back to play next Friday. I don’t remember my next visit to the park, but Mom says that Bob ran up to us as soon as we arrived and said we took so long he thought we wouldn’t come.

So for a while, I saw and played with Bob every Friday after school, and I enjoyed it just as much as I did visiting all my other friends. I did find it a little odd and frustrating that Bob didn’t like to run around and chase each other as much as most of my friends, but there were plenty of other ways to play, so that was fine. And it was a little annoying how often Mom insisted on sitting and talking with us kids rather than just letting us play, but still, I really enjoyed my weekly playtime with Bob.

This is why I got so disappointed when one day Bob stopped showing up at the playground. The first day, I was disappointed but was willing to accept he might just be home sick or something, but when multiple Fridays went by, and I still didn’t see Bob, I could only assume Bob decided not to come because he didn’t like me anymore. Mom tried to argue that something might have come up, and Bob’s family just couldn’t bring him anymore, but I knew that couldn’t be the case because Bob told me he lived nearby and his mom let him come to the park whenever he wanted. I admitted my disappointment to my Mom, and she promised she would try to fix things, but I didn’t see how Mom could fix Bob not wanting to play anymore.

Then one day, right after dinner time, Dad answered a phone call, only to call me over and tell me Bob was on the phone and wanted to talk to me. I was shocked, I didn’t think Bob even knew our phone number, but also excited! We talked happily on the phone for some time after that. I asked why he didn’t come to the park anymore, and my understanding was that he had moved and was too far away to walk to the park like he used to. Of course, if that was the problem, Mom could fix it, so I told her I wanted to visit Bob again, and she should make it happen.

Eventually, we got our playdate on a weekend at a different park. I remember thinking Bob looked different than usual, but I was too happy to finally get to play again that I didn’t worry too much about that. I asked Bob if the man with him was his Dad, but Bob insisted he wasn’t and the man was just his babysitter. Bob had two babysitters now, a man and a woman, but one or the other would bring Bob to the playground for our play dates. Best of all, Bob was more willing to run around and chase each other now than he used to be!

It wasn’t until a while later that I finally understood what had happened.

While I didn’t pick up on any of the details as a kid who just wanted a playmate, my Mom had been more attentive. She had noticed Bob only seemed to have three sets of clothes that were always as dirty as Bob was. She had seen the signs of hunger that were the cause of Bob’s lethargy and unwillingness to run around. She had figured out that there was something wrong with the timeline in which we went straight to the park right after school, and yet Bob was always saying he waited a long time for us to show up, almost as if he didn’t have to wait to get out of school before coming to the park. And thankfully, she had done something about it.

Bob’s disappearance from our playground was because he had been placed in foster care due to his mother’s extensive neglect of him, a result of Mom reporting her concerns to the authorities. The two people I had thought of as Bob’s babysitters were in fact his new foster parents, who Mom had somehow hunted down so we could still meet up and play together. Bob would eventually be adopted into a home he was very happy in, and for years, Bob and I would have our regular play dates.

I was present when Bob finally learned Mom was the one who had gotten him placed in foster care, years after it had happened. It was so odd to see Bob, who usually acted as if nothing in the world fazed him at all, run up to hug my mom and thank her, sounding as if he was on the verge of crying. He would always thank my mom for getting him help every time we saw him after that.

I’m afraid Bob and I drifted apart a bit around high school. He was in a different school and a grade behind me – a result of his having to make up for all the time he spent out of school before being fostered – and it became too hard to keep up contact. Bob still always invited me to his birthday parties and always made it clear he was thankful to my mother and me for not ignoring him back when he was a lonely child who would walk to a playground just to be around happier kids.

Mom praised me for picking Bob as my playmate, as if I’d done something special that day. I still don’t think I did; I remember the day we met, and he was just the only kid not playing, and so was the easiest to approach. Still, I’m very glad I did ask him to play back then. It may have been nothing special for me, just a bored kid wanting a playmate, but even if by accident, it was the first step towards getting Bob the help he needed to change his life.

Baby Blessings And Brashly Bantering Blokes

, , , , , , , , | Friendly | February 10, 2025

My guy friendship group has been the same since we were all in high school. As a result, we’re all very comfortable with each other, and our banter with each other can be interpreted as insults by those who don’t know us.

The first guy to have a baby and is joining us at the pub for the first time since becoming a dad. He shows us pictures of the baby, and we all congratulate him. After the fifteenth picture:

Friend #1: “Mate, we know you’re excited, but I can’t see the difference between any of the pictures you just showed us.”

New Dad: “Yeah, I guess I’ve become ‘that dad’.”

Friend #2: “Yeah, just remember that when [Friend #3] shows up. He’s already said on the group chat that if you force him to look at baby pictures, he’s going to be honest.”

New Dad: “I’ll try to remember that.”

[Friend #3] shows up, buys everyone a round, and congratulates the new dad.

New Dad: “Here, look at the pics!”

Friend #3: “It’s okay. I’m sure the wee lad is a cherub, but to me, all babies are ugly.”

New Dad: “No, seriously! Look! Look how cute he is!”

Friend #3: *Looking at the picture* “Jesus Christ! Did they throw away the baby and give you the placenta?!”

The new dad laughed his a**e off, with the rest of us following suit. Later that weekend, [Friend #3] gave the new dad a hundred nappies (diapers) and said, “For the cute little placenta”.

We don’t think the wives’ group would appreciate the “banter” from the blokes.

The 411 On 911

, , , , , , , | Friendly | February 4, 2025

I’m planning a trip to Iceland in August with a group of friends. We’re using a Google Doc so everyone can see the itinerary and the packing list. Since I’m the only one who has traveled internationally before, and a lot of us have health issues, I think it’s important that my friends know that 9-1-1 is NOT the emergency phone number in Iceland, but 1-1-2 is. (We are all American and used to 9-1-1.)

Although I plan to explain this on our next group call, I still type at the top of the “Good To Know” section: “112 is the Icelandic version of 911.”

My best friend calls me the next day with questions.

Friend: “What happened on January 12th?”

Me: “Uh… nothing that I know of? Why?”

Friend: “You put in the Google Doc that January 12th is Iceland’s 9/11.”

Me: *Laughing* “9-1-1! Not 9/11! 9-1-1!”

Friend: “Oh, okay. What is Iceland’s 9/11, then?”

Me: “I don’t think they have one.”

Friend: “But doesn’t every country have its version of 9/11?”

Me: “Darling. No.”

Bestie’s A Real Muttonhead

, , , , , | Friendly | January 20, 2024

This was in a recession, right after my best friend at the time and I had finished high school. We were working at the Renaissance Faire. We had sewn period-accurate costumes from scratch, and what we were paid to work there barely covered the cost of materials and transportation. We didn’t have other jobs yet.

Friend: “So, I saw a mug I want to buy.”

Me: “Oh?”

Friend: “You know how the other guys have mugs with them for getting drinks?”

I looked over at someone pouring homemade alcoholic cider into a mug, out of view of visitors.

Me: “But you can’t drink yet, and you already bought a pretty flask for water. I’d love to see it, though; I bet it’s pretty.”

We walked around the fair and looked at various expensive handmade wares, including the carved modern mug. It was $60, and the minimum wage was about $7, so even if we had other jobs, that’d be a lot.

Later, I saw [Friend] with the mug.

Friend: “I had just enough money left to buy it.”

Me: “Do you have your debit card with you? We need to eat and buy gas, and I didn’t bring enough cash for both of us.”

Friend: “Oh, I don’t have other money.”

Me: “Bu… you… what? At all? Even at home or in a bank?”

Friend: “Yeah. I’m sure it’ll work out, though.”

Me: “?!”

I never looked at her the same after that.

The Best Cure For The Christmas Cruddies

, , , , , , , , , , | Friendly | December 25, 2023

It’s the Christmas of 2020, and I’m stuck secluded at home with you-know-what. Everyone in my family lives in another state, so I usually fly out there for Christmas. Not this year. So, there I am, sick and miserable, when I hear the doorbell. Confused and more irritated than I already was, I walk over to the window and open it, planning to tell the person that coming here really isn’t a good idea.

The person in question turns out to be my best friend, who tells me to come to the door and then runs back to a group of some of our other friends. Curious now, I do as I’m told. As soon as I open the door, my friends, who are a safe distance away, start dancing and singing!

Friends: “We wish you a merry Christmas; we wish you a merry Christmas; we wish you a merry Christmas; and a healthy New Year!

“Oh, please stay six feet away; oh, please stay six feet away; oh, please stay six feet away; you’re spreading it through the air!

“We won’t stay if you come outside; we won’t stay if you come outside; we won’t stay if you come outside; so, keep your a** right there!

“We wish you a merry Christmas; we wish you a merry Christmas; we wish you a merry Christmas; and a healthy New Yeeeeeeaaarrr!”

By the end of it, I was alternating between laughing and coughing but felt immensely better emotionally. I also finally spotted the gift boxes at my feet, each of which had a bag of cough drops taped to it. My friends insisted on watching me open my presents right there and requested IOUs for their own gifts.

I have the best friends ever.