Turn That Crown Upside Down

, , , , | Right | February 20, 2010

Me: “Do you have a Crown Club Card?”

Customer: “Crown Club? More like Clown Club! What a worthless program!”

Me: “Actually, if you had a Club Card today, you would get a coupon for a small popcorn for $1.”

Customer: “Where do I sign up?”

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Jokes From Down Under Are Just Too Alien

, , , | Right | February 3, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [Video Rental Place]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Have you seen District 9?”

Me: “Yes, I have. Do you have questions about it?”

Caller: “Is this some sort of Australian joke?”

Me: “I beg your pardon?”

Caller: “All this movie has been is interviews with government people and aliens wearing brassieres! Am I watching some weird special feature or is this some kind of Australian joke?”

Me: “Well, the movie is in a documentary style and that definitely sounds like the beginning of the movie. If you want, you can come down to the store and exchange it for no charge.”

Caller: “Thank you very much. Those Australians have a weird sense of humor, man. I should know…I used to be married to a Brit and they’re strange, too!”

Me: “All right, sir, you have a good night.”

Caller: “Okay. I will put in a decent movie now which is not an Australian joke.”

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Customers This Dumb Are Rare

, , , | Right | February 1, 2010

Customer: “Excuse me, miss. Could you help me out here?”

Me: “Sure, ma’am. Did you need anything else?”

Customer: “No, it’s just that I really don’t like my sushi at all.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, that’s one of our most popular items on the menu. Would you mind telling me what’s wrong with it?”

Customer: “There’s raw fish in it.”


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Fowl Behavior, Part 3

, , , | Right | January 28, 2010

Me: “Hello, sir, can I take your order?”

Customer: “Uh, yeah… can I have two whole roast chickens?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we are all out at the moment. If you come back in thirty minutes, there will be some chickens available.”

Customer: “But what about those chickens over there?” *points at plastic display chickens*

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but those are display chickens. They are not real.”

Customer: *raises voice* “I reckon those chickens are real and you’re just trying to keep them for yourself!”

(The customer stabs the chicken with a plastic knife from our tray. A chunk of polystyrene is taken out.)

Customer: “Oh, I guess you were telling the truth. I’ll come back in half an hour.”


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