(I’m bringing some used motor oil to an auto parts store to be recycled. Depending on who’s working at the time, they may take the oil for me, or they might have me go in the back and pour it out myself. This time, an employee escorts me to the recycling tank. Each time this is done, there’s a log that needs to be filled out. We get to the part regarding “quantity” when this happens.)

Employee: “So, how much?”

Me: “Well, this says gallons, so let’s say one.”

Employee: *indicating my container* “That’s one?”

Me: “Well, it’s five quarts, and there are four quarts in a gallon, so it’s a little more than one.”

Employee: “So…”

Me: “We can say one and a half, because that’s gallons.”

Employee: “So, four?”

Me: *giving up* “Sure.”

This story is part of our Pi Day Math roundup!

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(I work at a well-known sandwich shop that recently held a Dollar Sub Day for its customers. This event only lasts for about fours hours, and then we go back to business as usual. For the rest of the day, we continue to get calls and customers walking in asking if we are still doing the special. This happens well over four hours after the event, in our drive-thru over the intercom.)

Coworker #1: “Hey, how’s it going?”

Customer: “Good! Can I have two [sandwich #1]s, four [sandwich #2]s, and two [sandwich #3]s?”

(We think nothing of it because this is a common thing. [Coworker #2] and I start to make the sandwiches he is ordering.)

Coworker #1: “Okay, I have [sandwiches ordered]. Anything else for you today?”

Customer: “No, thanks!”

(We are almost done making all the sandwiches by the time they finish.)

Coworker #1: “Okay, your total will be [total]. See you at the window!”

([Coworker #1] sends the order.)

Customer’s Wife: “Wait, what?! That can’t be right, it’s Dollar-Sub day!”

Coworker #1: “No, I’m sorry that ended [about four hours ago].”

Customer: “Oh, we didn’t know that.”

(It is on every poster that was around, including a few Internet ads.)

Customer: “Can we cancel all but two of those?”

(We had all of their sandwiches made. After that, my coworker went through the long process of changing their order. We wasted about six sandwiches that we couldn’t sell.)

(I am the customer here, and about 16 years old. I have fallen asleep in the car during a family trip, and my family wakes me up as we stop as a popular sandwich chain in an unfamiliar town to get lunch. The girl behind the counter is about my age, and we’re about halfway done making my sandwich and making small talk while I am half-asleep.)

Employee: *what I hear* “Do you know Justin?”

Me: “No, I don’t; I’m not from around here.”

(My parents laugh, and she gives me a weird look, but proceeds to make the rest of my sandwich. I sit down with the rest of my family and start eating.)

Mom: “I think that girl was eyeing you up for a second there.”

Me: “What? Really?”

Mom: “Yeah, until she asked you if you wanted dressing and you said you weren’t from here.”

Me: *screaming internally* “I thought she asked me if I knew Justin!”

(I work as a cashier at my local grocery store. My supervisor is an older man, who tends to be kind of a pushover in regards to customers, which is why this incident surprises me. I am scanning a woman’s groceries.)

Me: “Hello, did you manage to find everything okay?”

Customer: “Yes. I have a 20% discount.”

Me: *a bit confused, as I don’t know of any coupon or deal we have to give 20% off an entire purchase* “Okay. Well, if you could just show me the coupon for that, I’ll get it scanned in.”

Customer: *says nothing, just stares at me*

Me: *after a few moments* “Um, ma’am? I’m going to need the coupon to process any discounts.”

Customer: *speaking very slowly* “I. Have. A. 20%. Discount.”

Me: “I understand, but I need something to scan in to process that discount.”

Customer: *stares at me, saying nothing*

(After a couple more attempts to get her to show me whatever is giving her this discount, my supervisor comes over to see what the hold-up is with my line. I explain things, while the woman just keeps staring silently at us.)

Supervisor: “All righty. So, as my cashier said, we need to see proof of the discount.”

Customer: *lets out an angry snort, but otherwise, still says nothing*

Supervisor: *after a brief staring contest with the woman, shakes his head* “Right, then.”

(He reaches over and types in the register to void out the purchase, pulling the bags around behind the counter.)

Supervisor: “Next!”

Customer: *starts screaming* “What are you doing?! I’m not finished!”

Supervisor: “Yeah, you are, as you just stood there like a statue. Now, you can either take your things and go to the back of the line to try this again, or you can get the h*** out of my store. Either way, you aren’t getting any discounts today.”

(After a brief angry glare, while I started scanning the next customer’s things, the woman turned and stomped out, making deliberately big stomps as she did.)

(I’ve been working at a popular coffee shop for a month or so. I work with my best friend who is extremely nice and doesn’t have a bad bone in her body. This weekend our town has our parade, town activities, a baseball tournament, and a softball tournament. Naturally, it has been really busy. We have one customer, though, who doesn’t care about that and gives us a lot of h***.)

Me: “Welcome to [Coffee Shop]. What can I get started for you?”

(The lady orders two easy drinks that I could make in my sleep.)

Me: “I’ll have your total at the window.”

(The lady pulls up and I let my friend cash her out while I make the drinks. I suddenly hear yelling from the lady.)

Customer: “My daughter—” *who is in the car* “—works at [Coffee Shop] in [Other Town], and we got a 35% discount here last week.”

(We don’t have a 35% discount.)

Friend: “I can give you a 25%, but I’m not supposed to.”

Customer: “Fine. This is awful service. I’m also paying with a gift card.”

(The lady hands my friend the card. Instead of pressing redeem, though, she presses reload and five dollars. My friend realizes the mistake and tells the lady what happened. The lady will have to pay five dollars on her credit card, and then we can use the gift card. She refuses.)

Customer: “Are you serious? How do you even mess up that much? You’re so incompetent.”

(My friend is on the verge of tears, and we end up letting the lady leave. We end up paying the five dollars, so she gets five dollars on her gift card from us, and two free drinks. Ten minutes later:)

Me: “[Friend], that lady is coming inside.”

Customer: “My [super easy drink] is made wrong. There isn’t any caramel in it.”

(I am tired of this lady and we just got slammed.)

Me: “I know I put caramel in this.”

Customer: “You obviously didn’t. If you can’t handle this, we’re going to have a problem, and you shouldn’t be working here.”

Friend: “I’m so sorry. We’ll remake the drinks for you.”

Customer’s Daughter: “I hope you do. And we should get them free.”

(Now I’m pissed. They want four free drinks out of us, when we never messed up. I remake her caramel drink as she watches me like a hawk. As I put the whipped cream in, I reach for a lid to have it there.)

Customer: “DON’T YOU DARE FORGET THE DRIZZLE!”

(Her daughter is right there, so I ask a question.)

Me: “You work here. How many pumps of caramel should I put in here for a large?”

(The girl stutters around.)

Customer’s Daughter: “Like, six?”

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU ASK HER THAT QUESTION?!”

Me: “It’s 2.75 pumps of caramel. Please leave. You got two free drinks out of us, and now you’re scamming for two more. I’m not dealing with that today.”

Customer: “SHE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT!”

Me: “We all take a quiz after training. She should automatically know how much goes in, seeing as it’s a specialty drink.”

(The lady grabbed her daughter and left. She came back the next day and tried to start more crap. Luckily, my manager was there and didn’t take it.)