Unfiltered Story #177086

, , | Unfiltered | November 7, 2019

So I’m watching both my counter and my coworker’s counter while she is in the mall getting us smoothies. A customer walks up to my coworker’s counter and is clearly irritated no one is there, so I greet her.
Me: Did you need some help in Lancome?
Her: Yes, there’s no one over here.
Me: Yes, she just took a 15, did you know what you needed? I can help you.
Her: I need an eyeliner…
Her daughter is looking at eyeliners and asks if her mom just wants black.
Her: Yeah, black, ugh, do I have to *wait* for her to come *back*?!
Me: Nope, I can help you, like I said. You want the black retractable?
Her: yes.
I tell her to meet me around where the pin pad is. She hands me a coupon good for $10 off of $50, the eyeliner is only $20, so I offer their holiday box which is $60.
Her: So I can’t use my coupon?
Me: Not unless you spend at least $50, no.
Her: *swipes her coupon out of my hand* Ok.
She walks off and I voided the transaction.
My coworker comes back and I told her all about the crazy lady!

Discount? Discount. Discount!

, , , , | Right | November 6, 2019

(Our store is having a sale where if you buy one item, you get 20% off that item. If you buy two items, you get 25% off both items. If you buy three items, you get 30% off all three items. There are certain exclusions, items on which there is no discount because they are clearance.)

Customer: “Can you tell me if I can get any kind of discount on this item?”

Me: *scans item* “This is clearance; it does not qualify for a discount, but it does qualify as an item that will give you a discount on those items.” *pointing to the other items she is holding*

Customer: “So, I’ll get a discount on all of these?” *referring to the first clearance item, as well*

Me: “No, the discount only applies to regular-price and sale-price items, but all items qualify to give you a larger percent off items that are regular or sale-priced.”

Customer: “So, I get a discount on all of these things?”

Me: “No, only on this and this—” *indicating the regular-priced items* “The rest of these give you enough items to qualify for the discount on the full-priced items.”

Customer: “So, all of this will be discounted?”

Me: “…”

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Should Nut Have Said It That Way

, , , , , , , | Working | October 23, 2019

(I work in the kitchen of a high-end hotel. We give out “welcome packages” to VIPs, usually consisting of a small plate of food of some kind. Today, we had two people from a large company receiving welcome packages, each including a package of mixed nuts. One of the packages of mixed nuts was a bit larger than the other.)

Me: “Who gets which package, since they’re a little different in size?”

Manager: “I’m not sure! Let me call someone and find out who has seniority!” *on phone* “Hi. I was wondering who has bigger nuts in [Company]?”

Me: *stifles laughter*

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Getting Very Anal About The Probing Questions

, , , , , , | Healthy | October 10, 2019

In 2013, at the age of 25, I begin to have tonic-clonic seizures. Prior to this, I have never experienced any kind of seizure. As the doctors are trying to understand what’s going on with me, they recommend an MRI to see if there are any physical indications in my brain as to what’s going on. Before the referral is made, the doctor asks if I have any metal in my body and I tell them no, and they note it in my chart. They tell me not to wear any jewelry when I go to have the MRI. 

I go to the MRI clinic and throughout the paperwork process, I am asked several times if I have any metal in my body. I write “no” on all the paperwork and confirm this verbally with the intake person. I then speak with the nurse who takes me back to where the MRI is, and she asks me a couple of times if I have metal in me, as well. I tell her no and that I didn’t wear any jewelry. She writes that down and leaves me to change into clothing with nothing metal in it and to hang out in the room until the tech can come in and prep the machine.

After about five minutes, the tech comes in and begins prepping everything. “Before you lay down, I need to ask if you have any metal in or on your body.”

I am profoundly tired, in a lot of pain from the seizures, and scared I have a brain tumor, and so my coping mechanism kicks in. “Oh, no, just the implant the alien put in me when I was taken up on the mothership,” I say, as brightly as possible.

She looks at me quizzically and I repeat myself, smiling to let her know I’m kidding. She’s silent for a beat and then just sighs and tells me to get on the table. No chill at all.

I understand why they have to ask about metal due to the intense magnetism, but jeez, look at the charts, people! I don’t think I need to answer this question twelve times in the span of 48 hours.

Also, I don’t have a tumor, and my implant didn’t show up in the scan!

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Unfiltered Story #160902

, , | Unfiltered | August 24, 2019

Me: Credit or Debit?

Customer: Crebit

Me: Beg pardon?

(This happens quite often)