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Gunning For A Win

, , , , , , | Legal | July 15, 2018

(I work at an indoor gun range where people can rent and try different guns. Every customer has to sign a liability waiver stating what their firearms experience is so we know better how to serve them. It also serves to protect us against people who may injure themselves and try to sue us. A woman who rented a gun minutes ago comes out holding onto her hand which is lightly bleeding.)

Me: “Did you get cut by the slide? It happens to everyone at some point. I’ll get you a bandage!”

Customer: “I don’t know what happened! I shot it and it cut me! I’m taking you all to court! This is your responsibility!”

Me: “But, ma’am, I thought you had extensive firearms experience. That’s what it says on your waiver!”

Customer: *frustrated and distracted from the bleeding* “WELL, I WAS LYING!”

Me: “Oh… Then you should not have lied!”

Customer: “No. You should have known what my experience was!”

Me: “I don’t know, ma’am, they don’t pay me to assess that… but they do pay me to get you that bandage!”

(She called a lawyer and lied to him, too. When she and the lawyer came in requesting the video, we showed him the liability waiver that she’d signed but neglected to mention to him. He looked at her for a moment, then walked out of the store.)

Systemic Failure

, , , , | Working | July 15, 2018

(I work in customer service, where I mostly process returns. Our return system is slightly different, depending on whether or not returned items are marked out of inventory. Due to an update on the return system, employees are encouraged to use a manual backup system to process mark-out returns. Once the system is updated, both systems are still in place, and there is no clear consensus on which one employees should use. It’s a minor issue that doesn’t change anything from a customer’s perspective, but since several of my supervisors can’t agree on which system to use, it’s been a huge hassle for customer service staff, leading to some uncomfortable interactions in front of customers. During this interaction, I’m in the middle of running a return for a customer who also wants to order a replacement. Early in the interaction, it comes out that the return item is used, meaning I need to mark it out of inventory. It’s also worth noting that, though I’ve been working this job for a while at several locations, I have a very young face, so it can be hard to get customers to take me seriously.)

Me: “All right, sir, if I could just have you sign on the pin-pad real quick to authorize the return to your card. Oh, [Supervisor], do you have a second?”

Supervisor: *bypassing me entirely* “Sure! What seems to be the issue here, sir?”

Me: “Um… There’s no issue here. I was just running this mark-out return, and I was wondering if you wanted me to mark the item in the backup spreadsheet, as well as the new system. [Supervisor #2] told me last week the new system was up and running, but since [Supervisor #3] told me yesterday to use the backup, too–”

Supervisor: “Oh, I see. Well, first, you’re going to have to cancel this transaction.” *to the customer* “Sorry about this, sir, but I am going to have you press that red button there, instead. It looks like it didn’t go through the right way in our system the first time around.”

Customer: *confused* “Oh, okay.” *cancels the refund*

Supervisor: “Yes, perfect! All right, [My Name], so what you’re going to do is…”

(She keeps talking, walking me through the return I just ran. In the end, she has me print out a pre-refund receipt to show the customer before having him sign, a cosmetic choice that changes nothing about the return. At the end of it, she leaves me to deal with the second part of the customer’s transaction without answering my question.)

Customer: *slowly* “So… I guess this place has a high turnover rate, huh?”

Me: *annoyed and trying not to show it* “Not really, no.”

Customer: *still trying to figure me out* “Right. Do you usually work in this department?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I’m one of our full-time customer service staff.”

(At this point, a store manager happens to be walking by my station. I flag her down just as the customer is signing for his order.)

Me: “Hey, [Manager]. I’m running this order exchange here, and I had to mark this item out of inventory. I’ve already marked it out in the new system, but should I mark it out in the backup spreadsheet, too?”

Manager: “Nope, the new system’s finally good to go! If you wanted to use the spreadsheet, you still could, but it’s a little redundant at this point.”

Me: “Yeah, I figured, but I wasn’t sure. Thanks!”

(I turn back to my customer to give him his receipt. He has the grace to look a little sheepish.)

Customer: *pointing at my supervisor across the room* “She didn’t answer your question at all, did she?”

Me: “Not in the slightest.”

This Train Will Pull In 28 Days Later

, , , , , , | Romantic | July 15, 2018

(While watching “Train to Busan,” a Korean zombie flick set on the titular train:)

Me: “Apparently, they’re making a Hollywood remake of Train to Busan.”

Husband: “How the h*** are they going to do that? Our public transport here is s***.”

Me: *cracking up*

Husband: “It’d be what? The Long Drive to Busan? Everyone’s just stuck in traffic. For two hours. Including the zombies.”

(Zombies begin falling from broken windows and rapidly swarm towards the survivors in a craze, snarling and spitting. They scramble over barriers and each other, broken limbs jutting out at odd angles, making them resemble a horrifying stampede of twisted, mangled marionettes.)

Husband: “Looks like a typical Black Friday, if you ask me.”

The Returner Versus The Couponator

, , , , , | Right | July 15, 2018

(I work at a craft store that accepts competitor coupons. After closing time the manager waits by the door to let out customers who stay late.)

Last Customer: “I have a coupon from [Competitor].”

Me: “All right!” *applies coupon* “You total is [total].”

(Finishes transaction.)

Last Customer: *irritably* “Can I have that coupon back?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Last Customer: “So I can use it at [Competitor], too?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; I can’t return a coupon that’s already been used.”

Last Customer: *to my manager on her way out* “Your employee was very rude!” *leaves*

Manager: “What did you do to her?”

Me: “She wanted me to give back her used coupon.”

Manager: “Pshh!”

Related:
The Couponator 6: The Coupon Awakens
The Couponator 5: Online Decline
The Couponator 4: Deadly Discounts
Return Of The Returner: The Buyback
Return Of The Returner: Jeans Of Justice
Return Of The Returner: The Return

Pray Tell… Actually, Don’t

, , , , , | Related | July 15, 2018

I grew up in a very religious home. My parents held rigid beliefs that, after much soul-searching, I realized did not represent my values; I decided to become agnostic.

Fast-forward to the present. I am having a challenging time with my infant refusing to go to sleep and waking up at all hours of the night. Exhausted, I reach out on Facebook for book suggestions for sleep training from fellow parents. I also ask parents to share their experience trying sleep-training techniques. I’m particularly interested in evidence-based approaches backed by research.

I get some helpful book suggestions… then I get a comment from my religious aunt. She tells me in great detail that I should abstain from coffee or tea, I should play Christian songs during bedtime, and I should pray with my infant son, reassuring me that this will cure all our sleep woes. Not wanting to start a debate on Facebook, I simply thank her. However, I am holding back a sigh and an eye-roll.