Anti-Vaxxers Holding Out Until The Last Drop

, , , , , , | Healthy | November 5, 2019

(I work in the billing department for an emergency clinic, and I get a call from an upset mother.)

Mother: “I will sue you all! How dare you treat my son with [medical shot]?! It’s against our religion to do this! I didn’t sign any form to give consent!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, let me look up his information.”

(I look up the information. The day we treated her son was the day he turned eighteen; he was old enough to have any medical treatments without parental consent.)

Me: “Ma’am, I have it here that your son was eighteen the day he was treated. There’s nothing else I can tell you or discuss with you unless he calls and tells us it’s okay for us to talk to you.”

Mother: “That’s f****** ridiculous! He was not officially eighteen!”

Me: “It says on his driver’s license that he was eighteen on the day he was seen.”

Mother: “NO! He was born at 4:00 pm! He was seen at 10:00 am! He wasn’t officially 100% eighteen!” 

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t go by the time of birth. We go by date of birth.”

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Unfiltered Story #172116

, , , | Unfiltered | October 22, 2019

(I work for a property mangagement company. We just bought a new property in the beginning of 2015. We have no records for that property before 2015. I just had surgery and this is my first day back to work. This is a phone conversation with a very upset women.)

Me: [Company Name] this is [My name], How can I help you?

Lady: Yes, I lived at [Property] back in 2013-2014 and it’s showing on my credit that I owe them $2,000. Why? I don’t live there no more.

Me: I’m sorry ma’am but I don’t know that information. We just bought this property and we have no prior records. You will have to contact the previous owners and ask them.

Lady: Well why in the h*** would I have to do that?!

Me: Like I said before we do not have those records. I’m sorry.

Lady: Well can you give me the old owners information?

Me: No ma’am I cannot because that is not my department so I do not have that information. The person who is in charge does, but he is currently out of the office. Would you like to leave your info with me so he can give you a call?

Lady F*** NO! I can’t believe they have some stupid b**** working the front desk that doesnt even know how to do anything. You must be some kind of stupid.

Me: Ma’am please stop cursing at me. I am trying to help you the best that I can.

Lady: Well f*** you. (String of incoherent curse words)

Me: *Click*

( I hung up on her. Told my boss what happened and she wasn’t even mad)

Unfiltered Story #169587

, , , | Unfiltered | October 13, 2019

Customer: This is my first time here. What is a *names the drink.*

Me: Begins to explain the drink but apparently is not clear enough for the customer. (Even though I literally described the entire recipe).

Customer: *sarcastically and rudely* Thank you for telling me all about it.

Me: Begins to give a further explanation but interrupted while the customer turns to another employee to ask the question.

A Pox On Both Their Houses!

, , , , , , | Working | October 11, 2019

(This takes place back in the early 90s, right before the chickenpox vaccine is released. I am only a toddler at the time and my family is about to go on a very expensive — and non-refundable — vacation. My babysitter at the time sometimes watches me with a friend of hers and the kid she babysits. That kid comes down with chickenpox, and the kid’s mother asks my mother if it is all right to expose me “to get it over with,” which my mom emphatically refuses due to our impending trip. She also tells my babysitter that she doesn’t want me to go over to that kid’s house while they are sick, which my babysitter agrees to. The next day, my babysitter is dropping me off and my mom sees the chickenpox kid in the car with me.)

Mom: “I told you I didn’t want her near [Other Kid]!”

Babysitter: “Oh, don’t worry, we didn’t have them in the house together at all!”

(I got chickenpox. My parents had to cancel the trip and forfeit their deposit. Twenty plus years later, my mom is still kicking herself over not being more specific in her instructions.)

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Who Put Sand(paper) Up Their Crotches?  

, , , , , | Right | September 23, 2019

(I am at a pharmacy at 3:00 am trying to pick up some toilet paper. There are two people arguing somewhere near the rear of the store and the store clerk is falling asleep at the checkout. It is when I get to the toilet paper section that I discover that the people arguing are standing in front of my goal. Not wanting to get anywhere near this nasty-sounding fight, I go down a few aisles to wait out the storm. That’s when I hear this gem:)

Lady: “We ain’t buying that s***ty a** s***!”

Guy: “That crap you always buy always gets all up in my a**. We be buying a** wipes, not f****** tissue paper!”

Lady: “I’m not rubbing my crotch with this sandpaper bulls***!”

Guy: “This ain’t nothing like sandpaper. This s*** be tight and it ain’t gonna rub ya raw!”

(I’m an aisle over at this point trying not to laugh too loudly. They’re making sailors proud with their foul language. I’ve never heard such a colorful argument about toilet paper before. They continue this for a bit when the guy drops some math on the lady.)

Guy: “Look right here. This has 200 sheets per f****** roll. There be four rolls in this s***. With five sheets for every hardcore a**-wiping and four hardcore a**-wipings for each s***, this f****** roll gonna last for ten hardcore s*** sessions. That’s f****** forty hardcore s***s for five f****** dollars. And your b****-a** s*** costs f****** ten bucks and I gotta dig the f****** s*** nuggets out of my a** every time I use this s***.”

(They must have heard me laughing at this point as they got really quiet. I don’t know if the guy ever convinced the lady to buy whatever it was. Definitely spiced up my earlier morning.)

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