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There’s Really No Diplomatic Way To Handle This

, , , , , , , | Friendly | December 2, 2021

My son and I were on the last row of an airline flight. Three teens were in the seats across the aisle. They seemed quiet during the flight and I really didn’t pay attention to them. Then, it happened. They jumped up from their seats before the plane came to a stop at the gate.

Teen #1: “Let’s get out of here!”

There was no way in h*** I was going to let them rush to the front of the plane, so I stepped out into the aisle to block them.

Teen #2: “We’re late for our connecting flight!”

Me: “No, you’re not. The plane landed fifteen minutes early.”

Teen #3: *Shouting* “We’re diplomats!”

Me: “All three of you?”

Teens: “Yes, we’re diplomats!”

Me: “You mean you have a parent who is a diplomat?”

Teens: “No, we’re diplomats! We need to get to our connecting flight!”

Me: “You need to wait your turn like everyone else.”

Teen #3: *Shouting* “You’re being racist because we have brown skin!”

Me: “No, you’re in the back of the plane and need to wait like the rest of us.”

Teens: “BUT WE’RE DIPLOMATS! YOU’RE BEING RACIST!”

The teens then started crawling over the tops of all the seats, over people’s heads, toward the front of the plane. At some point, I lost track of them because my son and I had to gather our belongings. When we finally made it into the terminal, several airport staff, including security, had detained the teens and were explaining to them that they could not possibly be late for their connecting flight because we arrived early. One of the teens spotted me and started pointing vigorously at me.

Teen #3: “There she is! She wouldn’t let us pass! She’s being racist because we have brown skin! WE’RE DIPLOMATS!”

I explained the whole situation to security. They asked me if I wanted to press charges. Since none of the teens had actually touched me, I declined and went on my way.

A few minutes later, my son and I were sitting near our connecting gate, and guess who came laughing, scampering, and skipping through the terminal without a care in the world? The teens saw me and one took out a camera phone and started filming me. I just sat there, bemused. 

Teen #3: “Ooo, you’re in trouble now!”

I checked social media for a few days after that and never saw a viral story about some old white lady being racist. Go figure.

Can’t Hold A Candle To What Might Be Going On

, , , , , | Right | January 29, 2021

I work at a candle store and we have a lot of great scents. I love telling customers about them, based on their interests.

Me: “Hi, ma’am, can I help you find anything today?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for the strongest scent you have because I have a big room to fill.”

I show her the strongest candle.

Customer: “I just can’t smell it.”

I show her another.

Customer: “You must not put very much scent in these because I can’t smell this, either.”

I remember one of the main symptoms of the health crisis currently doing the rounds.

Me: “Well, ma’am, I’m sorry, but those are the strongest we have. Is there anything else I can help you find?”

Customer: “Ugh. Fine. I guess I’ll just go with the first one. Whatever.”

Me: “Perfect! May I also show you the hand sanitizer?”

First-Class Entitlement

, , , , | Right | January 25, 2021

I’m in line at the airport with my family. There’s a fairly long line to get through security but it’s moving so I’m not complaining. I overhear this woman talking to an employee.

Woman: “Where’s the line for first class?”

Employee: “Ma’am, this is the line for security. There is no line for first class.”

Woman: “No, there is!”

Random Lady In Line: “Get in the f****** line. Just because you’re first class doesn’t mean you’re better than the rest of us.”

Give To The Children Or You’ll Have The Devil To Pay

, , , , , | Right | December 16, 2020

I am working at a cookie store in a mall when we are accepting donations for a local charity and giving customers the option to donate $1.00 at checkout. Many people say no, which is fine; it’s none of my business. But it is the people that are exceptionally rude about it that bother me. This is my favorite instance.

Me: “Would you like to donate $1.00 to help children in need?”

Customer: *Visibly annoyed* “No. I wish people would give me a dollar every time my children needed something.”

Me: *Pause* “All right, well, your total comes to $6.66.”

Customer: “You can’t be serious.”

She donated $1.00 after that.

Leaving Only With Emotional Scar(f)s, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | October 6, 2020

I am working as a front counter cashier of a fast food restaurant. A man enters to use our restroom and then leaves. I think nothing of it until he comes back about ten minutes later. It is a slow time of day and no one has come in since he originally left.

Customer: “My scarf is missing! I left it in the bathroom and now it is gone.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but no one has come in since you left.”

Customer: “It was there! I came in with it and left it, and now it is gone.”

I go to check the bathrooms, but there is no sign of the scarf.

Customer: “Do you know how much that cost?! That was a $200 scarf! It was a present and now it is gone and it’s all your fault.”

Me: “I’m sorry about your scarf. I will keep an eye out for it.”

Customer: “No! I want my scarf! Someone took it from the bathroom and I want it back! Did you take it?! Tell me! I want my scarf!

Me: “I haven’t seen your scarf!”

Another customer enters so I go to help her. Meanwhile, the man starts shouting at all the employees in general.

Customer: “I know one of you has the scarf! Let me come back there and search everyone. That is my scarf and you all are nothing but a bunch of thieves! I’m going to call the cops!”

After a few more minutes of yelling, which the other employees and I all ignore, he finally leaves.

Other Customer: “D***, I seriously doubt his scarf was worth $200.”

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Leaving Only With Emotional Scar(f)s