Innuendo Is Priceless; For Everything Else…

, , , , | | Right | June 25, 2019

(I’m checking out an older gentleman who pays for his purchase with a debit card with a chip attached, but the machine doesn’t read the card.)

Me: “Sir, could you put the card back in? You took it out too soon.”

Older Gentleman: “Story of my life!”

(I held it together until he left. It was a good thing it was slow, as after he left I laughed really hard!)

Unfiltered Story #154723

, , , | | Unfiltered | June 11, 2019

(At my store, like most, we have impulse buys at our registers: lotions, candy, small toys, etc. Among these items are individually wrapped caramels.)

Customer: What’s this?
Me: Caramel.
Customer: Chocolate?
Me: No… It’s caramel.

Unfiltered Story #147742

, , | Unfiltered | April 24, 2019

(I work at a craft store “Where Creativity Happens”, but recently our competitor that sells fabric opened up near mine. Since I am a huge crafter, I went to the grand opening to purchase fabric. I must also add that I have blue hair, and am fairly easily identifiable)

Me: *waiting in line for the cutting counter*

Customer: EXCUSE ME! *grabs my arm* Where are your buttons?”

Me: I’m sorry Ma’am, I don’t work here-


Me: I work at the other one!

Customer: Then why are you here?!

Me: Because I’m buying fabric?

Unfiltered Story #146852

, , | Unfiltered | April 11, 2019

(I’m ringing up a customer when I need to call my manager up for a problem with a return.  While we’re waiting, a mother with two young kids comes into the line. The kids grab some balls out of a bin and start throwing them around while their mother is playing around with her phone.  This has been happening all day, and customers don’t take me seriously when I ask them to stop their kids so I ignore it. My manager comes up and scolds the kids and ask them to put the balls away.)
Mother(to older kid, probably around 8): What did you think you were doing? Why did you let your brother do that? You were supposed to be watching him!
(Don’t blame your kid woman, watch them yourself!)

Unfiltered Story #146828

, , | Unfiltered | April 9, 2019

A woman walks up to my manager as he’s setting up a display, I’m in the next aisle stocking.
Woman: My friend told me I could get something here.
Manager: What is it that you’re looking for?
Woman: Pieces of metal you bang on.
Woman: Little pieces of metal  you bang on and it stamps things.
Manager: (getting confused) I don’t know what you’re trying to say.

I suddenly realize what the woman’s trying to say and go over to save my manager.
Me: You mean a stamping kit for leather and metal?
Woman: Yes! Thats it!

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