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We HOPE You Don’t Carry Those

, , , , , , | Working | June 28, 2022

A while back, I was working with a friend. She answered the phone and then went on the walkie to ask someone to look into what the person on the phone wanted.

Friend: “The person on the phone wants a small white child.”

She got flustered and forgot to say it was a T-shirt. I was standing behind her literally doubling over laughing.

Demands For Discounts Are Not Their Calling

, , , , | Right | June 28, 2022

I work as a personal frame designer. The average turnaround time to do a custom order is about two weeks, and upon completion, we call the customer to let them know that they can come in to collect their order.

There was once an incident in the past where a customer wasn’t properly notified that their order was ready, so we take extensive notes on when and how we contact all customers to make sure no one is missed.

Customer: “I’m here to check if my order is f****** ready or not. I was told it would be done before Christmas and that you guys would call me, but obviously, that was bulls***. Should be under the name [Customer].”

Me: “Okay, yes, ma’am, that order is indeed finished and ready for pickup.”

Customer: “Then why the f*** did you guys not call and tell me? I’d better be getting a discount or something for this.”

Me: “Ma’am, according to my notes on this order, I was the one to personally call you on the date we told you to expect a call on but was hung up on after asking to speak to you. I tried—”

Customer: “Well, I probably thought you sounded like a telemarketer. Why the f*** didn’t you call back?”

Me: “Ma’am, I did. I tried calling a second time that immediately went through to voicemail, and I left a message to let you know that everything was ready.”

Customer: *Pauses* “Well, I never got any message! Shouldn’t you guys have texted me or something?”

Me: “From a business landline phone? No, we don’t do that. Besides, we reached out to you twice, and the paperwork we gave you when you placed the order provided you with our number to call us and check the order status at any time.”

Customer: “Whatever. Clearly, you don’t want to give me any discounts for wasting my time. Just give me my f****** order.”

Given that customers have to pay for their orders in advance and refunds are not possible on custom orders, the only wasted time was them trying to wrangle a discount.

Even When They Get What They Want…

, , | Right | CREDIT: mintyzebras | June 11, 2022

I am new in my job at a well-known crafting store, so of course, I don’t know where every single item in the store is.

A customer comes in looking for a specific kind of plastic bag that zips up. Not knowing where it is, I ask my manager through these headsets we wear at work to communicate with each other. They tell me that we don’t sell it.

The customer goes looking around for it and somehow finds what they are looking for. Then, they come back to me.

Customer: “Are you the person who I spoke to? Whoever told you that you don’t sell these is stupid. Just so you know, you guys do sell these.”

They stormed away to pay at the checkouts. They had a passive-aggressive attitude as they did so, and treated the employee there like crap. Then they walked out of the store, still pissed about the bags.

Aren’t Candles Supposed To Be Relaxing?

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: catsateallofmypasta | May 14, 2022

I am a keyholder and manager at a retail craft store and we have a lot of sales and coupons that constantly change. Essentially, nothing is the same price from week to week.

Guest: “Can I return these candles that I got for Christmas?”

They were from our fall collection; they had already been discontinued. We require a receipt for most returns and exchanges, especially if it’s an item not in our system anymore. Official policy says not past ninety days, but you KNOW corporate makes us break their own policies to keep the customer happy.

I asked the customer for a receipt, and she got very offended.

Customer: “Do you ever give out receipts with Christmas gifts? It’s very tacky to do so!”

Me: “Have you heard of a gift receipt?”

Customer: “I don’t think my seventy-four-year-old aunt is going to give out gift receipts.”

Me: “I can try to give you store credit for the lowest price they have been sold for within ninety days.”

She looked at me like I was crazy.

Customer: “No, I want an exchange!”

She just kept repeating that the candles weren’t discontinued and that they should be at the same price point as our other candles. That was completely untrue, but okay.

Me: “Ma’am, I’m just following store policy.”

Customer: “I assume you’re the manager?”

Me: “Yes, I am one, but I can grab another manager if you want.”

Customer: “No, but I want you to exchange them; it’s the same price.”

She just got more and more belligerent with every sentence — and she was pretty angry when I said no initially. I honestly started getting kind of shaky and angry, but I tried to keep calm and offered her our corporate phone number.

Customer: “I don’t want that! I want you to exchange these for me right now! What if I just stand here all day and tell customers as they walk in that you won’t exchange these?!”

I gave her a weirded-out look.

Me: “Uh… okay? If that’s how you want to look.”

Customer: “No, that’s how you’ll look!”

I just kind of stared at her, at a literal loss for words.

Customer: “Are you just going to stare me down now?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t know what else you want me to say. Are you sure you don’t want our corporate phone number?”

She got even angrier and slammed the candle she took out back in her box and stormed off.

Customer: “F*** you!”

I chirped back as she walked away:

Me: “All right, thank you! Have a wonderful day!”

She was already halfway out the door, but she doubled back to say:

Customer: “I hope you have a terrible day!”

And she FINALLY left.

At Odds With The Fabric Of Reality

, , , , , | Right | May 6, 2022

I work in a craft store. We don’t have a lot of fabric types, so we don’t have a lot of sections that are a specific price. We do have a few areas with signs that say “X fabric — $Y,” but most of our shelves are assorted, and about 70% of the fabrics have the price on the tag.

An old woman brings a fabric to the cutting counter.

Customer: “What’s the price? I got it in the $5.99 section.”

I don’t know what she’s talking about, but I just scan it.

Me: “That’s actually $18 and not on sale.”

Customer: “That’s false advertising!”

She moans a bit more and leaves with nothing. Later, when I am returning fabric to the shelves, I realise she had looked at the rack in front of the table that said “X fabric $5.99” and thought it was for the whole table. So, she can’t read.

The next day, she brings a fabric to the cutting counter.

Customer: “This was in the $5 section.”

This time, I am really tired, so I can’t stop the confused expression on my face.

Customer: *Scoffs* “You should know what’s in the store!”

Me: “I do, and we don’t have a $5 section. Could you please show me?”

She leads me to one of our assorted sections and pointed at some tags that say, “$5.” I then point at other tags that have other prices like $8 and $12 and so on.

Me: “This is an assorted section, and while the fabric that you found was in the wrong place, it doesn’t change the fact that there is no $5 section.”

She goes off again about how it’s “false advertising” and “confusing to customers.”

If she wasn’t so rude, I would try to find some fabric in her budget for her to use, but she is so rude. She keeps going on about how she has been a customer since the beginning — but doesn’t know how the store works? — and how she is never coming back if “we do it again.” And I am thinking, “Is that a promise?”

Then, she asks if we have a specific thing that we don’t have, and I list off some other stores nearby that might, including a Japanese dollar store.

Customer: *Immediately* “Oh, no, I don’t go there; they’re Japanese.”

So, not only can she not read, and she’s rude, but she’s racist, too. And no, she’s not senile or having trouble with English; she’s just rude.