They Don’t Want You Or Your Money

, , , , , , | Right | November 1, 2017

(I work in a locally owned craft store. An elderly man brings a bouquet of balloons to the register.)

Customer: *hands me the price slip* “I guess you want money now, don’t you?”

Me: “Um… Yes. Just let me calculate your total.”

Customer: “Well, that’s just like a woman, isn’t it? They always want money!”

Me: *speechless*

That’s A Pretty Good Question

, , , , , | Right | October 24, 2017

(I’m a cashier at an arts and crafts store, and one of my jobs at the register is to answer the phone. This particular day I happen to get a call from a telemarketer.)

Me: *answers phone* “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Why, hello there, [My Name]! You look very pretty today!”

Me: “We’re talking on the phone; how do you know what I look like?”

Refuses To Register The Line

, , , , | Right | September 28, 2017

(It’s a busy day in the store, and I’m called up to the front, since the lines have gotten long. I get up there to find that a customer has her cart-full of items laid out on the counter of my register. I stand there for a second, unsure of what to do, until another customer asks me to open.)

Me: “Um, excuse me.”

Customer: “Oh, do you need this register? I’m just counting my things.”

Me: “Yes, sorry. They assign me to a register, and I can only use this one.”

Customer: *annoyed, she starts slowly putting the items back into the cart* “Is there somewhere else I can do this?”

Me: “Unfortunately, no.”

(I sign in, but can’t call anyone over because she is still blocking my register. The customer gets about half of her items into the cart, when she pauses and says:)

Customer: “You know what? I might as well check out. Can you just ring me up?”

Me: *making eye contact with all the people who’ve been waiting* “Well, you could ask the people in line if they’d mind if I took you before them.”

Customer: *somewhat testily* “I’m not going to ask them.” *finally clears enough room for me to call the next in line*

Rocking On Through Your Shift

, , , | Right | September 21, 2017

(I am working the register. A woman approaches to return two items: ribbon and a five-pound bag of decor rocks. I scan the slip, and it says that I cannot return the rocks, as they were purchased as a clearance item.)

Me: “I’m sorry; I can return the ribbon, but I cannot return the rocks because they were bought on clearance.”

Customer: “But I don’t need them.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the register will not let me.”

Customer: *incoherent mumble*

(I process the return of the ribbon as normal, with no other issues.)

Me: “Here you are.” *hands her the bag with her return slip and the non-returnable rocks*

Customer: *throws the bag back at me, hitting me in the chest and chin with five pounds of rocks* “UGH! I said throw them away! I don’t want them, and I am not taking it home!”

(She stomps off.)

Me: *to next customer* “Want a bag of rocks?”

Marijuana Helps With Memory Loss

, , , | Right | September 20, 2017

(I’m a cashier at an arts and crafts store. A customer left her wallet behind earlier that day, and has come back to get it.)

Me: “Is this your wallet?”

Customer: “Yes, thank you! I really need it; it has my weed card…”

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