Rocking On Through Your Shift

, , , | Right | September 21, 2017

(I am working the register. A woman approaches to return two items: ribbon and a five-pound bag of decor rocks. I scan the slip, and it says that I cannot return the rocks, as they were purchased as a clearance item.)

Me: “I’m sorry; I can return the ribbon, but I cannot return the rocks because they were bought on clearance.”

Customer: “But I don’t need them.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the register will not let me.”

Customer: *incoherent mumble*

(I process the return of the ribbon as normal, with no other issues.)

Me: “Here you are.” *hands her the bag with her return slip and the non-returnable rocks*

Customer: *throws the bag back at me, hitting me in the chest and chin with five pounds of rocks* “UGH! I said throw them away! I don’t want them, and I am not taking it home!”

(She stomps off.)

Me: *to next customer* “Want a bag of rocks?”

Marijuana Helps With Memory Loss

, , , | Right | September 20, 2017

(I’m a cashier at an arts and crafts store. A customer left her wallet behind earlier that day, and has come back to get it.)

Me: “Is this your wallet?”

Customer: “Yes, thank you! I really need it; it has my weed card…”

Making You Go Docu-mental

, , , | Working | September 12, 2017

(I work at a craft store as a stock person. A truck comes in at three am and we have until nine am [when the doors open] to get things put away. Each person usually gets a section of the store to work on. Mine is in framing, a total of ten aisles of product, some of them itty-bitty to go on individual pegs. Everyone else only has two aisles. I am usually alone with six u-boats [think of narrow, flatbed carts, piled as high as you are tall with boxes]; everyone else gets two or three. My manager storms over and loudly berates me where my coworkers can hear her.)

Manager: “It shouldn’t take you this long to put stuff away! We’re going to be hiring seasonal people soon, and if they end up working circles around you, then you won’t be working here anymore!”

Me: “[Manager], I have double the workload of everyone else, and five times the distance to travel.”

Manager: “I don’t want to hear excuses. Next time you have a shift, I’m going to watch you to see how you can do better.”

Me: “All righty then.”

(The next shift, the manager has totally forgotten. I call her to observe. She tells me to sort everything into piles [which is how I always do it anyway]. I call her again when I finish that. She says she’ll be right over. After two minutes of standing around doing nothing, I give up and go to put the trash in the compactor, halfway across the store. I come back to my department and wait some more. And more. After ten more minutes of standing around, doing nothing, the manager shows up, barely glances at the piles, and says…)

Manager: “Good job. That’s all I wanted to see,” *walks off*

(My eye develops a twitch. A friend of mine says I should invoke the Three D’s of Retail: Document, Document, Document… because this looks like trouble. My next shift, the manager shows up again. She walks up with a slow, menacing pace, puts her hands on the counter between us and leans forward in an intimidating manner.)

Manager: “You have four u-boats. You have an hour and a half to get them all done. If you are not done, I will send you home and put someone on the section who will get it done more quickly.”

(I’m stressed now. I have to go into hyper drive. I throw empty boxes in a huge pile on the floor [at her command], sort things, and take things to each of the aisles at a dead run. Where I usually slide product where they belong in the proper slots, now I have to jam them in haphazardly. Products break, and have to be swept up and taken to the damaged bin. Ten minutes to my deadline, my stuff is put away, and I’m scrambling to put away my overstock.)

Manager: “See? You’re done!”

Me: “Actually, no, I’m not. I’m still putting my overstock up, and I was unable to bring anything down from our overstock to fill the holes.”

Manager: *visibly hesitates, then says* “But you’re done putting stuff away!”

Me: “Yes, I suppose technically I am, despite not being able to do my whole job.”

Manager: “But you’re done! Aren’t you proud of yourself? You should be proud of yourself!”

(I am not proud of being bullied into haphazard work and still only getting a third of my duties done. I am then sent to another section, again at her command, leaving a huge mess for someone else to have to clean up after me. Yet another shift comes by, and my manager drags me off the floor and rips into me.)

Manager: “I don’t know what we’re going to do to make you work faster, [My Name]. You should have been able to put all your stuff away, put up your overstock, and bring extras down to fill the holes. What can we do to bring down the time it takes you to do your job?”

Me: “I don’t think you can. I already said that I have double the workload of everyone else, and five times the distance to travel. If you could assign a coworker to help me with the workload…”

Manager: “You know what, all I’m hearing out of you is excuses. It’s the holidays; we’re going to be hiring 20 new people. I think you need to go home and think about it. Next week when you come in, I want you to either have a list of things we can train you on to do things better, where to put you where you CAN be effective, or you need to tell us whether this company is right for you.”

(I was silent and absolutely stunned. Had she seriously just told me to work off the clock?! I had been documenting from start to finish, so now it was time to bring down the hammer. I called the company hotline and listed everything; unreasonable demands, hostile attitude, toxic work environment, and the demand that I do a work-related project off the clock. At this point, I was done; if I got fired, I didn’t care. The company jumped like it had been stung. I was contacted by a local bigwig within a week, and I handed him my documentation, so that he could read everything. He spoke a lot of soothing, pretty corporate platitudes about the company working like a machine, and how much corporate wanted everything to be nothing but happy rainbows, and that if I HAD worked off the clock, he would have moved heaven and earth to make sure I was paid for that time. But after looking over my documentation, he sweated a few bullets and promised me that I would be kept anonymous, but that they were going to take care of the problem. To be fair… he told the truth. My manager left me alone from then on, only talking to me to give me directions and send me on my way. There wasn’t a single peep out of her about my speed for the rest of the time I worked there, until I moved and had to quit.)

Their Geek Knowledge Is Labyrinthine

, , , , , | Working | September 1, 2017

(Our shipping trucks arrive at three am, so the early shift often talks about random things to keep our minds active enough to move and sort the boxes without just falling asleep on top of them. Usually it’s nerdy stuff. One day…)

Coworker #1: *to [Coworker #2]* “Well, the Punisher is all extreme anti-hero business since he’s more of a ‘shoot them all’ kind of guy, whereas Batman is a little bit more mellow when it comes to handling villains… not counting Frank Miller’s psychotic imaginings of him being the ‘G**D*** Batman’….”

Manager: “Oh my GOD! Nowhere else do I learn so much about crap I don’t care about. Can’t you find something else to occupy your brains?”

Coworker #3: *singing* “I’d guess you’d say…”

Me: “What can make me feel this way?”

Coworkers #1, #4, and #5: “My girl, my girl, my girl!”

Manager: “Something else!”

Me: “You remind me of the babe!”

Manager: “Noooo…”

Coworker #1: “What babe?”

Coworker #2: “The babe with the power!”

Manager: “I’M SORRY I SAID ANYTHING! GO BACK TO TALKING ABOUT COMIC BOOKS!”

(The manager then flees the stock room under the pretense of taking a full cart out to the floor.)

Coworker #1: *to the manager’s fleeing back* “Never complain about our topics of discussion… we can always find something else annoying to switch to!”

No Coupon, No Receipt, No Clue

, , , , | Right | September 1, 2017

(Our registers print out coupons and promotions along with the receipts. Once a customer hits a certain dollar amount, they get an extra coupon. We are currently giving a coupon for 50% off a regular priced item to customers spending over $20, and we are in the middle of the expiration dates listed on the coupon, so it is “live” and can be used immediately. However, the fine print specifically states that it cannot be used on a previous purchase. I’ve had several people want to immediately return what they just purchased and then repurchase it with the coupon they just received, but this transaction goes above and beyond. I have a woman approach the register with a store bag full of yarn. Seeing all of the signs of a return, I greet her and ask:)

Me: “Are you making a return today?”

Customer: “Yes, I purchased these yesterday and I got a coupon for half off so I wanted to apply it to my purchase.”

Me: “I’m sorry, those coupons are good for future purchases and cannot be used a previous purchases.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t have the coupon until I bought the yarn. It printed with the receipt, so I couldn’t have used it with my purchase!”

(Now, I’m thinking, “EXACTLY!” but lately, corporate has been very pro-customer and we have basically been told to never say no and to make the customer happy no matter what. So, even though it is against policy, I know that once I ask my manager, I’ll be told to go ahead and break it and return the item, and then apply the coupon. Still, I have to do a token refusal so the customer feels like they are getting their way.)

Me: “Well, let me see your receipt and I’ll ask my manager what we can do.”

Customer: “I actually don’t have my receipt, can’t you just look it up? I bought it yesterday, my name is [Name].”

Me: “Ma’am, I have no way of looking up a transaction by a customer’s name, we simply don’t take that information. And I wouldn’t be able to process a return without a receipt and do what you’re asking, because all returns without a receipt are automatically priced at the lowest price it could have been purchased at in the past 90 days, which would likely be half off, so you would end up not getting any money back by repurchasing and applying a half off coupon. It would zero out.”

Customer: “I just don’t understand why you can’t just give me the difference.”

Me: “Ma’am, if you show me your coupon, I can show you what the conditions of the coupon are.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t have the coupon WITH me, it printed with the receipt so it’s wherever that is!”

Me: “I want to make sure I understand what you’re asking. You want me to return an item you purchased to apply a coupon you only got because you purchased the item, and you want me to do this without a receipt showing the purchase or the coupon you want me to apply?”

Customer: “Yes! That’s not hard, is it?”

Page 1/1812345...Last
Next »