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I Don’t Think You’re In Any Position To Dictate The Tone Here

, , , , | Right | January 5, 2022

I occasionally have to deal with customers who swap price tags on things to try and get a lower price. One time, when a customer tried this, I told them what I usually do.

Me: “That was stupid. What you did could constitute fraud, which actually has a harsher sentence than theft.”

Customer: “You can’t talk to me like that!”

When Will These Idiots Learn That Cameras Are Everywhere?!

, , , , | Legal | November 29, 2021

One evening, my wife was telling me about her day. It seems that an old lady had sent her work a letter threatening to sue them for a slip-and-fall injury sustained on their premises.

When they looked at the camera recordings of the incident, they could clearly see the old lady walk onto the doormat in the front entrance, spot a patch of wet mat, go over to it, make an exaggerated slipping motion, and then very carefully lie down on the floor before calling for help.

My wife isn’t sure what will happen about it, since it went straight to the company’s lawyer, but I can imagine the old lady won’t get any satisfaction out of it.

Also, the old lady happened to be my best friend’s grandmother.

 

“Y” Is This Conversation Is Looping?

, , , , | Right | September 27, 2021

I deal with contracts and I get a cancellation request for a contract. It’s from a granddaughter who wants to end the lease of her grandmother’s home. I check if all fields are filled in.

Immediately, I notice that the handwriting and signature are bold and confident. It makes me think a teenage girl wrote this, instead of a fragile lady in her eighties. Still, the lady could have wonderful handwriting, but just in case, I check the contract she signed over twenty years ago.

The style doesn’t match one bit and the name she used then was her married name and now it’s her maiden’s name. So, I call the number on the request.

Me: “Hello, I am calling regarding the cancellation for [lease]. When processing it, I noticed the signature does not match the one on the contract. Could you please explain that?”

Granddaughter: “I don’t know. My grandmother signed it.”

Me: “I see. Well, we can’t process it like this, because the signature does not match the contract in the slightest bit.”

Granddaughter: “She is over eighty years old! Her handwriting must have changed in the past decades.”

Me: “I took that into account, but it’s too different from the contract.” 

Granddaughter: “I don’t understand why you are being difficult. My grandmother is illiterate, so I’m helping her. I filled it in. She signed it herself.”

Me: “Could you please explain to me why she signed with a different name? And why she could sign her contract? Not only that, I see a very specific ‘loop’ used in the Y in the name. It’s used throughout the entire form. You just said you filled in the form, but she signed the form. Could you explain why I see similarities between your handwriting and her signature?”

There is silence.

Me: “Miss, if you signed for your grandmother because you wanted to help her, please say so. I do believe she wants to end the lease and that you want to help. If she no longer can sign, for whatever reason, please explain that to us and give us proof. But I cannot process this form because this is not signed by your grandmother herself.”

Granddaughter: “But… I…”

Me: “You know what? I’ll keep this cancellation on hold. That gives you time to get a signature from your grandmother.”

Granddaughter: “Yes… Thank you.”

I’m not worried about any fraud, because when a lease is cancelled, we visit the person twice, and at least one of the two times the person who signed the contract needs to be present (unless we have proof that person cannot be present). And as long as this request of cancellation is on hold, nothing will change for her grandmother. 

Please do not sign for your family members if you want to help them. It just gets flagged as an attempt of fraud.

A Broad View Of Fraud, Part 2

, , , , | Right | September 21, 2021

A customer has thrown a fit at the manager over us not having carts, even though we do. The poor manager then has the JOY of “humiliating her” and “making her look stupid” by pointing them out three steps BEHIND HER.

She then argues, at a volume that would impress a boot camp instructor, with a coworker that the sale on cardigans should apply to sweaters because they are “the same thing”.

Soon, the woman approaches my register and I just know this interaction will be a downhill run.

She strides directly past the line, approaching from the wrong end of the register. I’m sure you can imagine how outraged she is that she can’t just cut in front of the other people in line. She wastes five minutes arguing with me that since she’s “already there,” she “doesn’t want to have to pick up her items and go to the back of the line.”

The manager has to intervene and tell her to get to the end of the line or to get out without her purchases. Ranting about how the rules of lines aren’t laws, how she knows her rights, and how employees are NOT allowed to refuse service to anyone, ever, forever, throughout the universe, she storms to the end. She knows her rights! She knows the laws! Blah, blah, blah.

She gripes so constantly that I do my best to ring the other guests up quickly so they don’t have to listen to her constant moaning for longer than they have to.

Eventually, she gets up to me and I scan her few items. No big deal. Then, she shoves her credit card at me. I follow policy.

Me: “May I see your ID?”

She rolls her eyes and says, in the most inconvenienced way:

Customer: “Well, it’s my son’s card.”

The credit card and ID are nowhere close to matching.

Me: “I can’t use a card that doesn’t have your name on it.”

Customer: “I use his card all the time! SINCE WHEN CAN YOU NOT USE SOMEONE ELSE’S CARD?! THIS IS F****** RIDICULOUS! YOU’RE A F****** A**HOLE! YOU’RE MAKING THAT UP!”

Me: “I can’t run it. You have to pay a different way.”

She throws some cash onto the counter and is quiet while I finish the transaction.

Customer: “Where’s my coupon?!”

Me: “We handed them out last week. We don’t have any more. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

Customer: “I want to speak to the manager!”

AGAIN? That poor man! The manager arrives, and I can see the light die in his eyes as he sees who he has to talk to.

Manager: “Yes, ma’am?”

Customer: “Your employee refused to give me a coupon! She just played stupid and tried to tell me that you didn’t have anymore!”

Manager: “Ma’am, they were all handed out last week. My employee wasn’t playing games; we really don’t have any more to hand out right now.”

Customer: “That’s bulls***, but fine, play your petty little games. I’ll just add that to my call to corporate. Now, another thing; why won’t you people let me use my son’s credit card?! Since when is that a rule?! What the f*** are you people trying to pull?”

The manager just stares at her for a minute.

Manager: “That has always been a rule, ma’am, as that’s unlawful.”

Customer: “Oh, reeeeeeaaaallly?! Fine, then. Tell me what kind of crime it is!”

Manager: “Felony Card Fraud.”

Customer: “You’re a f****** liar.”

Manager: *Sweetly* “Would you like me to call the police and have them explain it to you?”

Customer: “You know what? Yes! Then, I can explain to them why they’re wrong because it’s never been a problem until now!”

I was amazed when she DID tell the cops that they were lying about the law being the law. She waived her right to be silent. She also made it very loudly clear that she would be suing the cops for wrongful prosecution as they cuffed her because Felony Card Fraud wasn’t a thing. And it was her son’s card, so she was within her rights to use it as his mother because it was a mother’s prerogative. And their names were different because her son legally changed his last name, as if cutting her and her husband out of his life somehow severed her right as his biological mother to take out a card in his name. They were connected by blood, and no law could override that!

The cops repeatedly reminded her that she had the right to remain silent and she repeatedly ignored them. She had no subtlety, saw nothing wrong with it, and just kept admitting her crimes at full volume. Because they weren’t crimes. Because she knew the law and knew her rights better than the cops themselves did. And she would personally tell the judge what the REAL laws were.

I was just amazed, listening to this woman dig herself a hole like a cartoon character going after gold.

The local cops wear cameras, so I didn’t need to be a witness, but I highly suspect that the book the judge threw at her had a LOT of pages in it.

Related:
A Broad View Of Fraud

Dodging Bullets… And The Feds

, , , , , , | Legal | August 21, 2021

Like so many others, I was laid off because of the health crisis. I start filling out job applications. One application is for an office job writing bids at a security contractor in my old hometown. I’ve never heard of the company before, but they have a very distinctive name.

I don’t think anything of it, but lo and behold, I get a call back from a third-party Human Resources person on behalf of that company to vet me for the role. Everything goes okay, except the HR representative says that the job is at a company with a similar but obviously not the same name as the one I applied to. I pull up the company’s website — which, please note, is full of buzzwords like “honor,” “trust,” and, “integrity” — while I am talking to the HR representative, and it appears that both companies are subsidiaries of the same parent company. The parent company actually has roughly a half-dozen subsidiaries, all with similar names. We both figure that someone on their end made a mistake, and the HR representative says he’ll forward my resume to the company.

Fast forward a week. The company’s hiring manager calls me. The interview goes well… right up until I ask which company I’ll be working for.

Hiring Manager: “Oh, it’s all the same company. Those are just the different brands we operate as. See, most of our work is with the Federal Government, and according to the rules, if you’re awarded a government contract, once that contract expires, you can only re-bid on it once. In other words, if you win the contract twice in a row, you can’t bid on it again. So, when that happens, we re-bid for the contract under a different name. That way, we never actually lose the contract.”

The more he described the company and why it was structured the way it was, the more it became incredibly obvious that the whole thing had been deliberately and specifically set up in such a way as to enable them to cheat their way into government contracts. The office I’d be working in was actually a small satellite office with just the owner’s brother and maybe one other family member, not corporate HQ as indicated in the job listing; most of the workers were clear on the other side of the country. And the more he described the office and my actual responsibilities — I’d have basically been a glorified secretary for the owner’s brother — the less and less comfortable I became.

The interview FINALLY ended, and the hiring manager said he’d be in touch. Thankfully, I never heard back from them. First and only place I’ve ever interviewed where I’m glad they ghosted me. Forget the creepy work arrangement and their lying about what the actual job was; I have too much integrity — actual integrity, not just a buzzword on a website — to knowingly work for a bunch of admitted crooks. Plus, I don’t want to be within a mile of any of their offices when they finally get raided by the Feds. And let’s be real: if they’re dumb enough to out-and-out admit they’re fraudsters to a prospective employee, it’s only a matter of time before they get shut down and the execs get thrown in prison.