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With Great Pizza Comes Great Responsibility

, , , | Right | December 30, 2007

(A hospital calls to order pizza.)

Manager: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place], would you like to try the Superhero Special?”

Customer: “What’s that?”

Manager: “It’s an extra-large, three-topping pizza that comes with a coupon for the Spiderman 3 DVD.”

Customer: “…the pizza’s delivered by Spiderman!?”


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Instructions Are Your Friends

, , | Right | December 29, 2007

(Referring to the payment terminal)

Customer: “It’s not working. What’s wrong with it?”

Me: “What does it say?”

Customer: “It says, ‘Please slide card again’.”

Me: “Well, then slide your card again.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

(She slides her card. It works.)

Customer: “Hey it worked!”

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Perhaps A Little Bit Too Free

, , , | Right | December 29, 2007

(A woman walks in totally nude and grabs a muffin. She has a large, rather offensive tattoo from her bottom rib up her neck.)

Me: “Ma’am, you can’t just take those…”

Nudist: “Why, because of the tattoo?”

Me: “No, because you need to pay for it first.”

Nudist: “It’s a free country!” *walks out*

(I ended up pulling out my wallet and paying for it myself, because getting arrested for chasing a nude chick down the street is not worth it.)

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It’s All About The Babies

, , , | Right | December 28, 2007

Me: “…ma’am, I’m sorry, but unless you had insurance during that time, you will have to pay for the insurance we purchased for you.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you people are demanding we PAY for this s***! And the electric company wants money, too! How am I supposed to take care of my babies when all of you are demanding money for stuff?! WHAT ABOUT THE BABIES?”

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Sticking To Your Guns

, , , | Right | December 25, 2007

*customer hands over a tree skirt for her Christmas tree*

Customer: “That’s all! And I have a coupon…”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it appears that the tree skirt is already on sale, so you can’t use the coupon.”

Customer: “Really? It doesn’t say anywhere that it’s on sale.”

Me: “Well, the ad that the coupon comes in also says that ‘All Christmas decorations’ are on sale for 30% off. Your coupon is for 40% off, so its not that big of a difference. It says on the coupon that you cannot use it on sale items…”

Customer: “Can’t you just give me the regular price and discount it with the coupon?”

Me: “Ma’am, you’re only losing out on… six dollars. I really don’t want to lose my job over your six dollars.”

Customer: “I BELIEVE I’M BEING CHEATED! I’M NEVER SHOPPING AT THIS ESTABLISHMENT AGAIN!”

(The customer came back two hours later to buy the exact same tree skirt.)


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