Disabling His Complaint

, , , , | Right | August 13, 2018

(My workplace is accessed by a short and very steep drive. I see a man in a manual wheelchair rolling down our driveway very fast. My coworker and I manage to grab and stop his chair just short of a brick wall.)

Customer #1: “Bloody h***! Thanks, guys. I thought I was going to smash into the wall there!”

Coworker: “What happened?”

Customer #1: “Ah, someone pushed past me too hard, and it set me to rolling down here.”

Me: “Well, I’m just glad that you’re all right.”

Customer #1: “Yeah, thanks to you two!”

(We’re about to ask if he wants us to help him back up the hill, or if he wants to wait here for someone to pick him up or something, when a second man comes over.)

Customer #2: “How dare you?!”

All Three Of Us: “Erm, what?”

Customer #2: “You should be ashamed of yourselves! You can’t manhandle people just because they’re in wheelchairs! My wife is in a wheelchair; would you just grab at her if you saw her? It’s disgusting!” *then, to the first customer* “I saw the whole thing, and will be a witness for you. You should prosecute them for assault!”

Customer #1: “I needed help, man. I would have crashed into the wall. I think I should be thanking them more, not trying to get them in trouble.”

Customer #2: “No! You shouldn’t thank them! These people need to understand that being in a wheelchair doesn’t make you incapable of looking after yourself; they shouldn’t have interfered unless you specifically asked for help.”

Customer #1: *long pause* “Okay. So, anyway…” *turns to us* “Thanks very much, lads. If you could give me a push back up to the road, that would be great.”

Me: “Yes, of course. we’re happy to help.”

Customer #2: “Well, if you won’t do anything, I will. I’m going to speak to the manager and get these people fired. They need to learn they can’t go around grabbing people in wheelchairs.” *walks back into the store*

Customer #1: *to us* “Do you think he’s really going to complain?”

Coworker: “It’s possible. People complain about some really weird things.”

Me: “Oh, well. Our boss is a decent woman; I doubt we’ll have any problems.”

Customer #1: “Well, I’d better go see your boss, too, just in case. I don’t want you getting in trouble.”

(When we got in the store, [Customer #2] was standing in the middle of the cashier area, yelling about how he didn’t want the stores employees grabbing his wife. Of course, we didn’t get in trouble, but [Customer #2] returned his purchases and said he’d never shop with us again.)


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Missing A Little Nugget Of Information

, , , , , | Right | July 26, 2018

(I work weekends at a fast food restaurant to help out with the bills. This particular exchange happens when I am taking orders in the drive-thru one Saturday afternoon. Note: at this restaurant, meals include fries and a drink.)

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. This is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I need two chicken nugget meals, one with a vanilla shake instead of a drink, and the other with a lemonade.”

Me: *repeats order back, prepares to give total*

Customer: “Wait, wait, wait. Now, I don’t want chicken nuggets.”

Me: *almost positive that she asked for nugget meals* “Oh, I’m sorry. Did you need a different meal?”

Customer: *with increasing frustration* “No, my son wants the nuggets, but I don’t.”

(At this point, I assume she’s accidentally ordered the wrong meal for herself, so I cancel one of them and wait for her to order the correct one.)

Me: “Oh, all right. And which meal did you need, ma’am?”

Customer: “I already told you, I want the chicken nugget meal, just with no nuggets.”

Me: “So… just an order of fries and a lemonade?”

(Keep in mind, the price for fries and a lemonade is SIGNIFICANTLY lower than any of our meal prices, so there’s no monetary reason for her to order this way.)

Customer: *exasperated* “Yes! God, what is so confusing about that?”

Lower Your Guard, Not Your Price

, , , , | Right | July 20, 2018

(I manage a distribution center, but I am filling in for the manager of another facility for the week. One of the duties of the branch manager is to fill all walk-in orders.)

Customer: “What are your prices?”

Me: *indicating clearly-marked price board* “The prices are [amount] and [volume discount price].”

Customer: “Well, I always pay [lower price]. I buy from the other branch all the time and they give me a discount!”

Me: “You mean the facility in [City]?”

Customer: “Yes, I purchase from them all the time! You should give me the same price.”

Me: “That’s odd; I don’t recall ever seeing you before.”

Customer: “Why would you have seen me before?!”

Me: “I am the manager of the branch in [City], and I handle all accounts for that location.”

Customer: “Um, I’ll just take [product] at regular price.”

Me: “Thank you. Have a nice day, sir.”

Not ALL Roads Lead To Rome

, , , , , , | Learning | July 8, 2018

(I am working as a long-term sub for a teacher on maternity leave. It is an English class and we are reading Julius Caesar. While the kids are working on a different assignment, I mention something I just heard on the news.)

Me: “Hey, something you guys might find interesting: archaeologists just announced they found where Caesar landed with his army during their invasion of England.”

Student: “But… they didn’t have planes back then.”

Me: *bewildered* “Uh, no, but they did have ships.”

Student: “But why didn’t they just drive?”

Me: “You didn’t do well in geography, did you?”

Dad Needs The Medicine Of Truth

, , , , , | Related | June 26, 2018

(My mother recently broke her ankle and is couch-bound. This is hard for both my dad and me, as I have to take care of her and the house, while my dad has to do this — albeit to a lesser degree — while I’m at work. He’s used to telling my mom to get everything for him during the day while he’s working. He thinks he has pink-eye and can’t get in touch with his eye doctor, so I drive down there. I set up an appointment and call him.)

Me: “Okay, I’ve got you an appointment tomorrow at 11:00 am.”

Dad: “I don’t have time for that.”

Me: “I’ll try and set up a different time.”

Dad: “No, I’ve sent you a picture of my eye. Tell them to look at it and give me a prescription.”

Me: “…”

Dad: “You there?”

Me: “I don’t think it works like that.”

Dad: “Just ask them.”

(I go to the desk and look at the receptionist.)

Me: “I’m sorry. I already know the answer, but can you look at this picture and write my dad a script?”

Receptionist: *looks at me like I have two heads* “It doesn’t work like that. The doctor needs to see him, and I’m not a doctor.”

Me: “I know. I’m so sorry.”

(I call my dad back and tell him that they need to see him in person, not a picture.)

Dad: “I don’t have time! Why can’t they just give me the medicine?”

Me: “Because it’s illegal.”

(I still don’t think he gets that. This was by far the dumbest errand I’ve ever had to run. What’s worse, when I told my mom, she said this isn’t the first time he’s done this.)

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