You Just Lollipopped Her Bubble

, , , , | Right | January 5, 2021

I work at an arcade, where customers win prizes by winning games. A customer approaches my counter and sets down around five blow pops.

Me: “All right, I just need your arcade card, ma’am.”

Customer: *Handing me a ten* “I can’t just pay for it?”

I smile, going into how our arcade works.

Me: “No, sorry. You can win these by getting an arcade card at the front and playing some games to win tickets! Then you can get a prize here that you can afford with those tickets.”

She’s not annoyed but seems a little put-off.

Customer: “But I don’t want to play; I just want some blow pops.”

She tries to hand me the ten again. I get many bribes but never take them.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t sell anything here. It’s in our contract with our suppliers.”

She sighs, pocketing the ten.

Customer: “All right, fine. Keep your candy.”

She leaves, not putting away the small pile of lollipops.

Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am!”

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All Aboard The Stupid Tax Train

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: loveyourfruits | December 10, 2020

When I am a teenager, I work at a party centre for kids’ birthday parties.

I am calculating the bill for a customer who initially chose a package that cost $500.00, plus tax. On the day of the party, he has fewer children show up than the package maximum, so I decided to switch him to a lower package that was only $200.00, plus tax. He didn’t lose any services or items or anything, and he’s paying at the end of the party, so the only thing that is happening is that he is getting a cheaper price for the same party.

When he comes to pay:

Me: “Hello, sir. Since you ended up having fewer children than expected, I’ve automatically downgraded your package to save you some money.”

I show him the difference. He begins arguing with me.

Customer: “What?! I want the package I asked for! I don’t want a downgrade!”

I think he is confused, so I explain again.

Me: “Literally nothing has changed except that you are getting a better price, sir. The party is over now, so it’s not like we can take anything away from you.”

He just kept arguing with me, though, that he wanted the higher package. The third time he complained, I was about to explain it to him again, but then I thought… why do I care? It’s not my money, and I won’t keep fighting this guy on why he should save the money. So, I charged him for the higher package and took the difference as a tip for myself.

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Unmasking Stupidity

, , , , | Right | December 4, 2020

I work at an arcade and bowling alley inside a mall. I’ve been working there for about a year and the arcade has been open for a year. Because of the health crisis, we have signs at both entrances — the one leading to the mall itself and one leading from the parking lot into the arcade — explaining our mask policy. The arcade is a private company, so we have different rules than what the state laws are regarding masks.

A customer reads a sign that explains our mask policy and walks in without one.

Customer: “I have a question.”

Me: “Yes? What is it?”

Customer: “Do I need to have a mask on to come in?”

Me: “…”

You’d think a big sign with pictures and big letters that say you need a mask would be a clue that they need a mask, especially after spending a couple of minutes reading it all.

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What The Puck?!

, , , , , , | Right | December 2, 2020

My husband and I are visiting my parents for my dad’s birthday. After lunch, we’re sitting outside in their yard and they’re telling us something that happened on their week down the shore.

Mom: “Dad and I were playing air hockey and suddenly we couldn’t find the puck. We called the worker over and she couldn’t find it, either. We looked everywhere. They even brought the manager over and they took the brand new table apart.”

Me: “So, where was it?”

Dad: “Under my paddle. I thought they were going to kill me.”

We all laughed. To that worker, thanks for being so patient and understanding.

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Whack A Memento Mori Mole

, , , | Related | November 19, 2020

My little brother is about nine or so and we go with our mom to a well-known kids’ arcade. We’re about to enter when my brother suddenly bursts into tears.

Me: “What’s the matter?”

My brother shakes his head and cries harder.

Mom: “What’d you do to him?”

Me: “Nothing! He just burst out crying for no reason!”

Finally, he composes himself enough to blubber out.

Brother: “I just realized that we’re all gonna die someday! It’s so sad!”

He cried and cried.

We had to haul him in the arcade sobbing his little heart out. Twenty years later, he still is upset about the concept of death. I remember the first time I cried about my mortality — I was six — but not when I was going to the arcade!

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