I work in a VR Arcade. I’m supervising a group session where customers rent booths to play virtual reality games. A father is watching his son play while loudly complaining to anyone who’ll listen.

Customer: “I just don’t understand the appeal of this stuff. You’re standing still. You’re not actually doing anything!”

Me: “Well, it’s a simulation. Some people enjoy the experience without needing to run a marathon.”

Customer: “Hmph. In my day, we didn’t need headsets to have fun. We just went outside. That’s real exercise. Real memories.”

Me: “Everyone enjoys something different. Some people prefer fighting robots on Mars over dodging geese at the park.”

His son, mid-game, trips on his own foot and lets out a theatrical “OOF!”

Customer: “Be careful, [Son’s Name]! You’re going to get disoriented!”

Son: *Shouting out to us.* “Dad! I can hear you! Chill! I get more lost in the grocery store!”

Customer: “This is still a waste of money!”

Son: “Cheaper than therapy, Dad!”

I work in a gaming arcade. I’m working the prize counter while kids run wild on the skee-ball machines and teens hover near the racing games. A very intense dad, clutching a fistful of crumpled prize tickets, rushes over.

Customer: “I added it up. This is exactly 4,100 tickets.”

Me: *Scanning the pile.* “Alright, that’ll get you anything in the third shelf and below.”

Customer: “My son wants the mini speaker and the lava lamp. That’s 5,000 total. But we’ve been here for three hours.”

Me: “Okay?”

Customer: *Stares expectantly.*

Me: “Sir, I can’t give you both.”

Customer: “But we spent money. A lot of money.”

Me: “And you got a lot of tickets.”

Customer: “So what are you gonna do?”

Me: “…Give you a choice between the mini speaker or the lava lamp?”

Customer: “You’re telling me there’s no reward for loyalty?”

Me: “Sure, there is. It’s called three hours of fun.”

There’s an intense stare off for a second, broken by his son asking out loud:

Customer: “Dad, what’s a lava lamp?”

A kid comes up to get change for our arcade machines. The one he wants accepts 50p coins and £1 coins.

Kid: “Hey, can you give me 50p?”

He asks this, putting 40p on the counter.

Me: “Do you have another 10p?”

Kid: “Nah.”

I just sorta… Stop for a second. My coworker responds.

Coworker: “We can’t just give you free money.”

The kid walks away.

Coworker: “That’s not how capitalism works…”

Years ago, I was celebrating a friend’s birthday at a pub/arcade downtown. One of the other guests was a plus-one who was… not too bright.

He came out of the bathroom and said:

Guest: “Wow, I didn’t think this kind of place would have a bathroom attendant.”

Me: *Confused* “I was just in the bathroom earlier, and there was no attendant.”

Guest: “Well then, who did I just give two dollars to?”

This story reminded me of my own experience as an arcade staff member working at a UK seaside resort town. In the UK, we have a popular arcade penny machine where you deposit either 2p, 5p, or 10p depending on the arcade machine. The coin is then pushed into a penny dump that by use of force can reward the user with more pennies, prizes, or in some rare cases, notes in the value of £5, £10, or £20.

Since these machines are very popular, we also get the odd attempt — mostly by kids  — to cheat the system by giving the machines a light kick. I’m working when an alarm rings from one of the machines, and upon arriving, we see a kid no older than ten years of age frozen there like a deer in the headlights. The machine has seized up, and the alarm still blaring means that the kid at least tried to steal from the machine. Security promptly ejects him from the premises and tells him never to return — a big deal for this particular holiday resort as the arcade itself is the only place for kids to enjoy the games.

Not half an hour later, the kid has returned but is trying as hard as possible to avoid eye contact with the staff. I head over to intercept.

Me: “Mate, you know you’re not meant to be here—”

Man: “OI!”

I hear a voice from a man who turns out to be the boy’s father. He is currently in the attached eighteen-plus-only slots room.

Me: “Yes, sir?”

Man: “Who do you think you are, talking to my son?”

Me: “Sir, your son was caught attempting to tamper with one of the arcade machines earlier today and has been barred from future entry to the premises.”

Man: “Well, he’s under my supervision, so he’s fine to hang around.”

So far, the man has not averted his eyes from the slot machine he’s using.

Me: “I’m afraid that’s not going to be possible, sir. Your son needs to leave the premises.”

The boy’s father waves me off as he continues gambling.

Me: “Sir, if you’re not going to comply with the rules regarding your son, I’m afraid you will both be ejected.”

Man: “Lay one finger on me or my son, and I will f****** kick your skull in.”

I’ve grown used to gambling addicts making threats like this, but that doesn’t mean we don’t take them seriously. As soon as he made this threat, I was on my radio for security to come over. The boy’s father was dragged from his seat — after continuing to refuse to comply and becoming more and more irate with the security guard — with his son in tow. Both were banned from the arcade for life.

Related:
When Stupidity Has No Limits, So Does My Customer Service