Insecure About The Room Options

, , , , , | Working | February 12, 2018

(I’m out of town one evening and find I’m too tired to drive the three hours home. I suddenly, and unexpectedly, need a hotel room. With no advanced reservation, I have to check a couple of places until I find a room. While checking in:)

Front Desk Clerk: “We have one room left. But, the door lock is broken; it won’t lock. So, you have to make sure to use the security lock once you’re in the room.”

Me: *too tired to keep looking for a different hotel* “That’s fine.”

(I drop my stuff in the room and decide to have a few beers at the bar. Once back at the room a couple of hours later, I go in and lock the security lock. Tipsy from the beers and now really tired, I sit down on the end of the bed, switch the TV on, and promptly fall asleep… fully clothed, half laying on the bed, feet still on the floor. I’m awoken at about three in the morning by two men and a woman in my room.)

Man #1: “WHO ARE YOU, SIR?!”


Woman: *running around the room frantically* “WHERE’S MY BAG?! I HAD A BLUE SUITCASE! WHERE IS IT?!”

(When I was lucid enough to realize the men were a security guard and a hotel worker — they had used a special tool to open the security lock — I explained that I had checked into this room and had no idea what was going on right now. Turns out, the woman had checked in earlier. She wasn’t happy about the issue with the door lock. So, when another room opened up, they changed her room assignment and moved her belongings. Problem was, she was at a wedding all night. Although the clerk tried to call her to let her know, he couldn’t get through to her. Then, when there was a shift change at the front desk, the guy who checked me in didn’t tell his relief what had happened. Thankfully, it got sorted out and they comped me the room.)

Log Out And Never Come Back

, , , | Right | February 12, 2018

User: *asks for password to be reset*

Me: *via email* “Your new password is [password]. You can change your password after you’ve logged in by clicking on your username in the upper left corner.”

User: *calls* “I don’t see where I can change my password.”

Me: “Did you log in yet?”

User: “I have to log in?”

Compliments To His Callousness

, , , , | Working | February 12, 2018

(The owner of the company where I work is not a nice person, to say the least. He mismanages things, makes changes without telling anyone, and gets mad when people come to him with problems.)

Coworker: “You know, people might appreciate it if you gave them a compliment every once in a while.”

Owner: “Why would I do that?”

(And he wonders why the turnover rate is so high…)

Valentine’s Pay

, , , , , , , , | Romantic | February 12, 2018

Several years ago, a friend and his wife invited my wife and me to dinner at a very nice local restaurant. The two of them had visited the restaurant several times previously, and they were pleased with both the food and the price. This time, the reservations happened to be on Valentine’s Day.

We arrived at the restaurant in good time. We were a bit surprised that there were more empty tables than we expected. We were seated, and read the menus. The offerings were their standard meals, but the menu itself had, “Valentine’s Day Specials,” printed on it. The prices were four times the usual amount, too! We asked the waiter why the prices were higher than usual, and he said something like, “Well, it is Valentine’s Day, and you should be giving your ladies something special!”

We decided not to pay the highly-inflated prices, and got up to leave. A customer at an adjoining table looked at us, then spoke up and said, “I wish I had done that, too!”

Doesn’t Get Their Monkey Business

, , , | Right | February 12, 2018

(There is a black and white sample photo of four teenage boys hanging in the lobby of our studio. It’s supposed to look like a recreation of a photo from a Beatles shoot, and a lot of customers really like it and make comments about it. A mother and her six-year-old little boy are in the studio, and the mother is asking about pricing and what we can do for their photo session when they do decide to come in to get pictures done. Meanwhile, the little boy is staring at the “Beatles” photo, before he turns to me and speaks up.)

Little Boy: “Are those the monkeys?”

(At first it doesn’t occur to me what the little boy is talking about. I think he means actual monkeys. Apparently, his mother thinks the same, too.)

Mother: “Those boys don’t look anything like monkeys.”

Little Boy: *starts singing* “‘Hey, hey, we’re The Monkees!'”

(I am trying very hard not to fall over laughing, and his mother looks even more confused, because she has no idea what he is talking about.)

Mother: “What are you going on about?”

Little Boy: “They’re just monkeying around Mom.”

Mother: *shakes her head and turns back to me* “He watches way too much TV.”

Me: “At least he’s watching some of the classics. My mom would love his taste in music!”

(I finished answering her questions, and she thanked me, promising to be back when they have time to get their photos taken. As they were leaving, I overheard the little boy trying to explain to his mother who the Monkees were. Really made my day.)

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