Cat Caught Your Tongue, And Shed On It

, , , | Working | June 6, 2017

(I have a rather fluffy cat, so for sanitation purposes I take her into a pet groomer about once a month to get her backside shaved. After one session, I am putting her back in her carrier while the groomer cleans the cat hair off the table, only to have a clump get stuck to her sleeve.)

Groomer: “Is there anything cat hair doesn’t stick to?”

Coworker: “Cats.”

They’re Dog-Gone Outrageous

| Columbia, SC, USA | Right | May 22, 2017

(I own a dog salon, so the clients that come in can be rather… interesting, to say the least. This customer however was a beautiful piece of art that I just had to share. A woman calls to ask some questions about our services, get a price, and book an appointment. After speaking with her, I tell her that the service will be $45. She sounds pleased and books an appointment for the following Saturday, our busiest day. Let’s skip to the appointment day: The client shows up five minutes early with the requested shot records in hand so we can verify her dog’s rabies vaccination. Seems good so far.)

Client: “Wait… Why are there other dogs here?”

(I stand there in silence for a moment, a little confused by her question.)

Client: “Hello? Why are there other dogs in here?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, this is a grooming salon, so we have clients drop their dogs off and pick them up when they are finished.”

Client: “I understand that, but I don’t want my dog around other dogs. I thought you only did one dog at a time.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t. I groom one dog at a time, but I have clients drop dogs off throughout the morning so I can stagger baths, drying, and haircuts.”

Client: “Well, I’m going to need to book on a day where you can close the shop and only take my dog.”

Me: *stands there, dumbfounded at this demand*

Client: “Is that an issue? I don’t want her around other dogs. I also need to keep her here until 6:00. I get off of work at 5:30, so it will take me a bit to get out the door and back over here.”

Me: *I take a moment to collect my very confused and shocked brain* “Ma’am, I’m sorry but I can’t do that. I have to take other dogs in order to make money. I also don’t offer day care services. I close at 5 and usually require clients to pick up their dog after the grooming is finished.”

Client: “Well, I can tip. I usually tip $10.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I usually make at least $300 in a day with all the dogs I book and groom. If you would like for me to do this for you, you can pay $400. This will cover all of the appointments I would have to block off and cover the day care service from eight am till six pm.” *I don’t bat an eye while giving my price*

Client: “Are you f***ing kidding me?! You said it would be $45!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but a $45 groom and a $10 tip does not make up for the $300-plus I could be making by taking multiple dogs. May I suggest that you use an at home groomer or maybe a mobile groomer? They don’t offer day care services, but they only take one dog at a time.”

Client: “F**k you!”

Me: “All-righty. Have a good day.”

The Website Has Been Successfully Vetted

| TX, USA | Right | March 20, 2017

(It is a slow Wednesday at the grooming salon where I work. A car pulls into the parking lot and a woman gets down and pushes the door.)

Customer: “Oh, good. You’re open.”

Me: “Did you have an appointment?”

Customer: “No, but she’s really sick. I don’t know what to do.”

Me: “Oh, well, we’re not a vet, ma’am.”

Customer: “You’re not?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “But my grandma told me to bring her here. She said you have a vet here.”

Me: “But we don’t.”

Customer: “Well it says on your website that you do!”

Me: “No, we don’t.”

Customer: “Well, it says on your website, so y’all need to change that.”

(I checked the website just in case, even though I already knew it says no such thing, and I was just confused as to where she got this information. I hope her dog was okay because she didn’t seem too bright.)

Groomed For A Cancellation

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Right | January 8, 2017

(I run a mobile dog grooming business so I go to people’s houses and groom their dogs in the back of my van. It is my last client for the week. I get to the house and knock on the door; no answer. She’s a fairly regular client so I decide to give her 5-10 minutes. I set myself up and potter around before calling her and having the following conversation:)

Client: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi, [Client], it’s [My Name], the dog groomer. We have an appointment today at 2:30.”

Client: “Oh, hi, I didn’t get a reminder text; I was waiting for it to cancel our appointment.”

(My booking software automatically sends out a reminder text 24 hours in advance of the booking. Occasionally it does stuff up and not send a text.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. It should have sent automatically. But you were waiting for the text to cancel the booking?”

Client: “Yes, I couldn’t remember when it was but I decided last week to let the dogs fur grow a bit longer before getting it cut.”

Me: “So you’d already decided to cancel the appointment?”

Client: “Yes, but I didn’t know when it was.”

Me: “So you were waiting until less than 24 hours before the appointment to cancel because you didn’t know when it was even though you had already decided last week to cancel it?”

Client: “Yes…”

Me: “In the future, please let me know as soon as possible if you want to cancel an appointment. It’s hard to fill a spot with less than 24-hours’ notice so I lose income from not working when I could be. If it happens again I will have to charge a cancellation fee.”

Client: “But I didn’t know when the appointment was!”

Me: “But you knew a week ago you wanted to cancel the appointment regardless of when it was?”

Client: “Yes!”

Me: “So you could’ve texted me a week ago and cancelled?”

Client: I suppose… but I didn’t know a week ago when the appointment was.”

Me: “But you knew you were going to cancel and were perfectly capable of calling or texting me and telling me that?”

Client: “Yes, but—”

Me: “Next time if you decide to cancel an appointment please let me know as soon as you decide. Anything less than 24-hours’ notice and I will charge you a cancellation fee.”

Client: “But what if I don’t know when the next appointment is?”

Me: “Write it in your calendar or stick it on the fridge.”

Client: “Oh, that’s a good idea, thanks!”

Me: “No problem. Have a nice day.”

(On the plus side I got to start my weekend three hours early!)

It’s Not Too Late To Say Sorry

| USA | Right | October 18, 2016

(A customer walks in with her dog.)

Me: “Hi! Who do you have with you?”

Customer: “Sorry?”

Me: “Who do you have with you?”

Customer: “Sorry?”

Me: “What’s your dog’s name?”

Customer: “Sorry?”

Me: “Do you have an appointment?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Who is the appointment for?”

Customer: *visibly agitated* “Sorry?”

Me: *equally annoyed* “Who is-”

Me: *checking the book and suddenly realizing there is a dog scheduled named “Suri”*

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