Caller: “I need an appointment in two days for my dog.”
Me: “Sorry, we’re booked the next two weeks, we can’t squeeze anything in.”
Caller: “What!? You guys have been booked like that every time I call! How do you stay in business?!”
I’m a pet groomer. I don’t work for a grooming salon or anything, I work alone out of a veterinarian’s office, so clients will just save my work cell number in their phone as my name or my name, the dog groomer.
Apparently, one of my regular clients’ wives thought he was cheating on her and texted every female-sounding name in his phone, telling all of us to stay away from her man.
I wrote back:
Me: “So should I cancel Muffin’s grooming appointment for next week?”
Client’s Wife: “Never mind, wrong number.”
He brought Muffin in the following week as usual. I mentioned the text, and he just sighed.
Client: “You too? She texted my cousins, coworkers, and even my half-sister!. People she’s actually met!”
A client comes into the groomers with a Shih-tzu who is in DIRE need of grooming. Sometimes, when I see dogs whose fur is heavily matted or in bad shape, I try to stay polite and gently suggest the client bring them in for grooming more often than they have. I’m unable to hold back this time.
Me: “Wow, what happened here? It looks like he’s never been groomed in his life!”
Client: “That’s because he hasn’t! I’m only bringing him in because my wife is insisting I do, but come on, it’s not really necessary! It’s just a scam for you guys to make money!”
Me: “Absolutely not, sir! Matted and badly maintained fur can be distressing to the dog! It’s vital they get groomed regularly!”
Client: “They don’t get groomed in the wild!”
Other Client: *Chiming in.* “Bloody h***! I hope I never run into a wild pack of them. My ankles will never be the same!”
I put the poor Shih-tzu down as an emergency appointment and got the little guy taken care of. Thankfully, he’s become a regular since then and seems much happier!
A customer comes in to pick up her tiny designer dog. She’s not happy with the service.
Customer: “I told you I wanted the ‘Teddy Bear Cut’, but this looks like a common poodle! My dog looks humiliated!”
Me: “I’m sorry you’re unhappy, ma’am. But he was heavily matted, and we discussed that we’d have to trim shorter than the example photo you showed.”
Customer: “You should’ve called me! I could’ve come back and detangled him myself!”
Me: “We did call. You told us to handle it.”
Customer: “Well, I just don’t think this is what real professionals do.”
She gestures toward her dog, who is happily wagging his tail and licking my coworker’s face.
Me: “Judging by the tail wags, I’d say we pleased the actual client.”
The customer begrudgingly paid (we had her card on file anyway), but honestly, I was just happy her dog could finally see where he was peeing.
Related:
Fur-bal Abuse
A customer comes in with a fluffy white Pomeranian that looks like it just ran through a hedge maze.
Customer: “I want him trimmed just like that photo.”
She shows me a glossy Instagram pic of a professionally styled show dog.
Me: “Okay, we can do a teddy bear cut like that, but it’ll take a bit of time, and your dog’s coat will need detangling first.”
Customer: “No. I don’t want him shaved. I just want him shaped.”
Me: “He’ll still have his coat, we just need to work through the matting—”
Customer: “—I don’t like your tone! I didn’t come here to be judged.”
Me: “I’m just trying to let you know what’s realistic with his current fur.”
Customer: “You people always make excuses. When I go to the hair salon, I don’t expect a lecture!”
Me: “Ma’am, I can’t reverse months of tangles with a polite attitude and wishful thinking.”
She took her business elsewhere. I feel sorry for that dog.
