I am a housing officer in a mental health specialist housing group. I’m responsible for over 100 properties over a large city. I am responsible for maintenance and tenant welfare and am extremely busy because of it. I’m a woman in my twenties but can easily pass for an eighteen-year-old.

I need to find a new carpet supplier and have arranged for several companies to provide quotes. The successful company will become our exclusive supplier, and we are recarpeting 90% of our existing properties with new ones coming in the next few weeks. On this day, I’m scheduled to work from home but I’m coming in as a favour. I am dressed in workout gear — leggings, trainers, and a hoodie — with my ID badge on display.

As I pull into the street, a van cuts me off coming down a pedestrian walkway. The driver beeps and makes vulgar gestures at me, all of which is captured on my dashcam. He races off, breaking the speed limit, and parks across two driveways, blocking me from parking on the property.

I drive past and walk to the property, and I notice the driver standing on the doorstep repeatedly ringing the bell and hammering on the door.

As he drops a cigarette butt on the floor, he notices me and lets out a shrill wolf-whistle.

Worker: “Oi, oi! How’s it going, baby?!”

Me: “Hello, are you [Worker] from [Company]? I’m [My Name] from [Housing Organisation]. I believe you’re here to bid for the carpeting contract?”

Worker: “Err, uhh, yeah. Yeah, that’s right, love! I thought I was meeting the officer, not their assistant! I’m only gonna deal with the big boss, all right, sweetheart?”

Me: “Actually, you won’t be dealing with anyone. I am [My Name] and I’m the officer dealing with contracts. Your conduct has been disgraceful; you’re not coming anywhere near my tenants or properties. I will be calling your supervisor to confirm exactly why you won’t be getting the contract and to let him know about your behaviour. Have a wonderful rest of the week, Mr. [Worker].”

Leaving him speechless, I stormed back to my car and went back to my office. His company was apoplectic with rage when they heard what he had done and he was fired on the spot, due to this incident combined with previous issues. They sent both their other workers who would be carrying out the work to meet me and sign up for mental health awareness training, AND they gave us two carpet fittings free. Due to this, we gave them the contract and have had no trouble since.

I work in a small charity shop selling clothes and other goods. We all work hard to make it look nice, but it’s pretty obvious everything is second-hand. A customer comes in and browses for a while, and then comes to the counter with a child’s ride-on toy with the usual marks from use.

Customer: “This is a bit dirty.”

Me: “Yes, we’ve cleaned it up but those marks wouldn’t come off.”

Customer: “The wheels are all marked up, too.”

Me: “Yes, it’s been used, so they will be.”

Customer: “Oh, this has been used? Can I get one from the back?”

Me: “Sorry, this is the only one; we don’t have stock or anything.”

Customer: “Well, when are you getting more in? I’m not buying a used one.”

Me: *Pause* “You do realise this is a charity shop?”

Customer: “Well, of course, I do. It says on the front.”

Me: “Everything here is donated; it’s all second-hand.”

Customer: “It’s… what? What do you mean?”

She looks around, confused.

Customer: “You’re selling for charity.”

Me: “People donate things to us. Sometimes we’re lucky and get things that are pretty new-looking, but everything here is used.”

Customer: “So… you don’t sell anything new?”

Me: “Er. No. Sorry.”

Customer: “Oh, right. Sorry, then. I don’t want this… I didn’t know how this all worked.”

She left the toy on the counter and walked out, still looking a bit confused. Seriously, even if you’ve never been in a charity shop before, it’s pretty obvious that nothing is brand new!

Related:
Not Very Charitable Expectations

I receive a phone call from an unknown number. As I am in the process of moving house and have had various phone calls from estate agents, mortgage advisers, etc., I answer.

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hello, is this the homeowner? I am calling from the [TV/Broadband Provider] broadband.”

Yes, he did add the “the.” Straightaway, I recognise this as a scam call! After reading some of the stories on this site, I am finally able to have some fun!

Me: “This is he.”

Caller: “Hello, valued customer.”

The real broadband provider would address me as “Mr. [My Surname].”

Caller: “We are calling because there have been reports of bugs and hacking in your area.”

Me: “Oh, dear, that sounds very bad.”

Caller: “We are contacting all of our customers at the [TV/Broadband Provider] broadband to warn you. We are able to make your computers much more secure.”

Me: “Well, that sounds good.”

Caller: “We need to check your router first.”

Me: “Oh, is that the big box filled with the Internet?”

Caller: *Pause* “It has some lights on the front. Can you describe them for me?”

My router has three green lights.

Me: “Uh, it has two flashing blue lights. Is that normal?”

Caller: “Yes, that’s what we have on our screen.”

Yeah, right!

Caller: “Are there any lights on the back?”

There aren’t.

Me: “There’s a big flashing red light. Is that how they’re hacking me?”

Caller: “Yes, we see that on our screen. Now, we need to run a program on your laptop. The Chinese and the Russians could be hacking your Internet and giving you bugs.”

Me: “Oh, no! Does that mean I’ll get that nasty Chinese bug I’ve seen on the news through my Internet? I’ve been shielding and had to stay inside!”

That last part is true!

Caller: “No, we can help. Is the laptop on?”

Me: “Yes.”

Of course, it isn’t.

Caller: “Right, I need you to obey these instructions.”

I pretend to mishear the instructions or not understand, having to check with my (fictional) roommate or asking how quick a “double-click” should be. This goes on for about fifteen minutes or so. Eventually, he says I should see a box with options on screen.

Caller: “What does it say?”

Me: “It says I can’t do this as I need admin access. I don’t know what that means!”

Caller: *Pause* “Let me get my supervisor.”

I hear him speaking to his mate at the desk next door, and then the “supervisor” comes online.

Supervisor: “I understand you are having trouble, valued customer?”

Me: “I don’t understand what’s going on. Oh, it’s so scary!”

The “supervisor” begins repeating what his colleague said, but he accidentally cuts me off and I get a dial tone. Oh, well, I’ve been on the phone for twenty minutes and had some fun, and I stopped them from targeting someone else.

But seconds later, the phone rings, showing a completely different area code and number. Knowing this is the scammers, I ignore it. They ring again with a third number. And a fourth. This one has an area code that doesn’t exist!

I go to YouTube and load up a clip from the movie “Independence Day” of the cities exploding, turn the volume up really loud, and then I press “answer” on their fifth attempt and play the clip.

This doesn’t work and they try another three times before I answer again.

Me: “Hello, [Fictional Police Force from Popular TV Drama] Cyber Crime Division, [Fictional Detective] speaking. How may I help?”

They didn’t call back!

We stop in our favourite coffee place and sit down for a drink not far from the tills. 

We start to chat when we notice a guy come in on his phone, mask in hand. The staff tell him to put his mask on. He gestures dramatically and then leaves the shop to continue his call.

But it’s not long before he’s back again, off his phone. The staff again tell him to put his mask on. There are more gestures and dramatic huffing and puffing from the man, but he does comply.

He gets to the tills to place an order but pulls his mask down over his chin. The employee looks fed up by this point.

Employee: “Sir, you need to wear your mask for me to serve you.”

Customer: “I am wearing it.”

Employee: “Sir, you are fully aware of what I mean. Please wear your mask over your mouth and nose.”

He mutters and grumbles something but pulls his mask up partway.

Employee: “Over your mouth and nose, please.”

He huffs and puffs and makes a big show of putting his mask on ridiculously slowly.

Employee: “Yes, sir, how can I help you?”

The guy says something unintelligible.

Employee: “No, sir, our toilets are for customers only; you can use the supermarket next door.”

He swore loudly and left. Hats off to the employee for sticking to her guns and not reacting.

Related:
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 5
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 4
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 3
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 2
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked

I’m checking out. The person in front of me has a full cart of goods, while I have everything in a small handbasket. The store has removed the lane dividers, so I leave a small gap between our goods as I unload, and then I put my basket in the holder they have at the end of the lane.

A woman then ends up looping around one of the empty check stands, and, pretending to not notice me, drops her handbasket on the small gap, landing on top of some of the items in both the man ahead of me and my own piles. She then faces away from me, very obviously trying to pretend like I just don’t exist.

Not willing to indulge her, I reach over, grab her basket, and scoot it over before dropping it into the holder on top of my old basket. Naturally, this gets a response.

Woman: “What are you doing?! Why are you touching my things?!”

Me: *Jerking over my shoulder* “Back of the line.”

She seems startled at me not rising to play her game, and she looks to the clerk, obviously hoping for some support. However, the clerk’s response is to do exactly what she had done and pretend the woman doesn’t exist, finishing up the man’s goods and then rolling the lane forward until my goods are right at the scanner.

Apparently disheartened at no-one standing to support her, she turns and slumps out of the store. Once she has gone, I haul the basket of goods out of the holder and hand it off to the clerk.

Me: “Looks like someone abandoned these. They’ll probably need to be put back.”

Clerk: “Oh, look at that. Thanks for spotting that.”

We shared a grin, then finished up, and I headed out. I saw the woman sitting in her car after I came out, and she stuck her tongue out as I passed.