Unfiltered Story #222188

, , , | Unfiltered | January 8, 2021

My colleague is on the till serving a woman.

Colleague: Hello, would you like a bag?

Woman: I’m on holiday, so yes.

Colleague: Would you like a 5p bag or 10p bag?

Woman: What’s the difference?

Colleague: The 5p bag is our standard one (large retailers in the UK have charged for carrier bags for several years) and the 10p bag is our Bag for Life.

Woman: I’m on holiday, I don’t need a Bag for Life, I need a Bag for Now.

My colleague continues serving the woman, who mentions a few more times that she is “on holiday”. At the end…

Colleague: Bye, enjoy the rest of your holiday!

Woman: I’m not on holiday! My mother is very ill and how dare you be so insensitive! (storms off)

Colleague: (genuinely stunned) Um, bye?

Nope, no-one else could understand it either!

Unfiltered Story #219151

, , , , | Unfiltered | December 26, 2020

(I work and the customer service desk of a grocery/retail store. When a customer drops money or forgets change, we log it in a binder at the desk and enter it in the till as “money found”. They can claim it with a receipt. If they know when they lost it but don’t have a receipt, we can check video footage)

Customer: (speaking very quickly) I recently had a heart attack and just got out of the hospital but a couple of weeks ago I left behind $40 at self checkout and I talked to the girl down there and she said she brought it up here but I just had a heart attack and I’m wondering if you can help me out.

Me: Okay, sir. Let me just check our log book.

(I go get the binder and open it up on the back counter and begin to look through it. I realize that the customer has walked around to the back of the desk with me and is trying to see the list. I turn the binder away since customers are not supposed to have access to that information.)

Me: The only record I have of $40 left behind is from two months ago…

Customer: Yeah, that was me.

Me: You said two weeks ago. I have nothing from that time frame.

Customer: It could have been months. I had a heart attack.

Me: I understand, sir, but that $40 has already been claimed.

Customer: Oh, are you sure? I thought I saw something in there from a couple weeks ago for $40.

Me: Sir, this log goes back six months and the only instance of $40 has already been claimed.

Customer: Are you sure? It could have been further back. I had a heart attack.

Me: Yes, sir. I’m sure. Do you have a receipt? We could check camera footage for you.

Customer: Oh… no I don’t.

Me: Is there anything else I can help you with?

Customer: Well I also lost my phone, a gold chain, and a gold bracelet. Do you have a lost and found?

Me: Yes we do. What kind of phone?

Customer: Black.

Me: Yes, but what brand?

Customer: Oh, ummm… Samsung?

(The lost and found drawer is right in front of me, between me and the customer. At this point, I’ve figured out his game. I open it just enough to see in, trying to block the customer’s view. He leans over, trying to see in the drawer.)

Me: I don’t have any Samsung phones in here. (I pull out the lost jewellery bag, which I had thought was empty, to show I’m not lying) And it looks like we don’t have any lost jewellery. Oh! Except this one ring. Anyway, was there anything else I could help you with?

Customer: I also lost a ring. (He tries to see what the ring looks like as I quickly put the bag back in the drawer.)

Me: Mhmm. And what does your ring look like?

Customer: Well it was gold. Umm. With some black. And a pattern on the side.

Me: That doesn’t sound like this ring. And it was turned in yesterday, when you were in the hospital.

Customer: Well it could have taken them that long to find it!

Me: Excuse me just a moment.

(I went and told a supervisor that I had a lost-and-found fisher, someone who tries to get free stuff out of our lost and found to go pawn. She told me to get rid of him and followed me back in case I needed help.)

Me: Unfortunately, sir, that ring has been claimed. The person who lost it called yesterday and will be in tonight to pick it up. They have a picture of it in their phone. Is there anything else I can help you with?

Customer: I don’t believe you. I’m not trying to do anything. I just want my ring.

Me: Is there anything else I can help you with?

Customer: No. (Leaves)

The Scammer From The Broadband With The Bugs

, , , , , | Working | November 27, 2020

I receive a phone call from an unknown number. As I am in the process of moving house and have had various phone calls from estate agents, mortgage advisers, etc., I answer.

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hello, is this the homeowner? I am calling from the [TV/Broadband Provider] broadband.”

Yes, he did add the “the.” Straightaway, I recognise this as a scam call! After reading some of the stories on this site, I am finally able to have some fun!

Me: “This is he.”

Caller: “Hello, valued customer.”

The real broadband provider would address me as “Mr. [My Surname].”

Caller: “We are calling because there have been reports of bugs and hacking in your area.”

Me: “Oh, dear, that sounds very bad.”

Caller: “We are contacting all of our customers at the [TV/Broadband Provider] broadband to warn you. We are able to make your computers much more secure.”

Me: “Well, that sounds good.”

Caller: “We need to check your router first.”

Me: “Oh, is that the big box filled with the Internet?”

Caller: *Pause* “It has some lights on the front. Can you describe them for me?”

My router has three green lights.

Me: “Uh, it has two flashing blue lights. Is that normal?”

Caller: “Yes, that’s what we have on our screen.”

Yeah, right!

Caller: “Are there any lights on the back?”

There aren’t.

Me: “There’s a big flashing red light. Is that how they’re hacking me?”

Caller: “Yes, we see that on our screen. Now, we need to run a program on your laptop. The Chinese and the Russians could be hacking your Internet and giving you bugs.”

Me: “Oh, no! Does that mean I’ll get that nasty Chinese bug I’ve seen on the news through my Internet? I’ve been shielding and had to stay inside!”

That last part is true!

Caller: “No, we can help. Is the laptop on?”

Me: “Yes.”

Of course, it isn’t.

Caller: “Right, I need you to obey these instructions.”

I pretend to mishear the instructions or not understand, having to check with my (fictional) roommate or asking how quick a “double-click” should be. This goes on for about fifteen minutes or so. Eventually, he says I should see a box with options on screen.

Caller: “What does it say?”

Me: “It says I can’t do this as I need admin access. I don’t know what that means!”

Caller: *Pause* “Let me get my supervisor.”

I hear him speaking to his mate at the desk next door, and then the “supervisor” comes online.

Supervisor: “I understand you are having trouble, valued customer?”

Me: “I don’t understand what’s going on. Oh, it’s so scary!”

The “supervisor” begins repeating what his colleague said, but he accidentally cuts me off and I get a dial tone. Oh, well, I’ve been on the phone for twenty minutes and had some fun, and I stopped them from targeting someone else.

But seconds later, the phone rings, showing a completely different area code and number. Knowing this is the scammers, I ignore it. They ring again with a third number. And a fourth. This one has an area code that doesn’t exist!

I go to YouTube and load up a clip from the movie “Independence Day” of the cities exploding, turn the volume up really loud, and then I press “answer” on their fifth attempt and play the clip.

This doesn’t work and they try another three times before I answer again.

Me: “Hello, [Fictional Police Force from Popular TV Drama] Cyber Crime Division, [Fictional Detective] speaking. How may I help?”

They didn’t call back!

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