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The Great Jenga Haunting

, , , | Right | September 3, 2019

(At the toy store where I work, we have a giant Jenga game — about three feet tall — set up for customers to play with. This is an outdoor game, designed to be played on grass. We have it set up on a hard plastic table over a tile floor in an area with excellent acoustics; when it collapses, the noise is cataclysmic. We also have a door chime which is high-pitched and kind of annoying. One day, I’m checking out a customer when the door chime goes off several times in rapid succession.)

Customer: “Gah, that noise is so annoying!”

Me: *sigh* “Tell me about it.”

Customer: “Yeah, I guess it must be worse for you, right? Does it follow you home? Like, does that noise haunt you at night?”

(As if on cue, the Jenga tower collapses with a migraine-inducing cacophony. The customer ducks as if he’s being shot at and then looks up at me with wide, frightened eyes.)

Me: “No, that’s the noise that follows me home at night.”

(He gave a shaky laugh and left, giving the display table a wide berth. We had to put up with the noise for another month before management agreed to display something quieter.)

If You’re Looking For Food Then You’re Stuffed

, , , , | Right | June 3, 2019

(I work at a toy store. An older man comes in.)

Coworker: “Hello. Can we help you find anything?”

Customer: “Fish.”

Coworker: “Okay, let me show you what we have.”

(He takes him over to our stuffed animal section and starts to show him fish toys. The man suddenly gets angry.)

Customer: “HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT THIS FOR DINNER!?”

(The customer then turned and stormed out, leaving us wondering how he could possibly think that we sold food.)

Annoy Your Sister And There Will Be Some Noise

, , , , , | Related | January 27, 2019

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Toy Store]. Can I help you find anything in particular?”

Customer: “I’m mad at my sister and my nephew’s birthday is coming up. What do you have that makes loud, repetitive noises and can’t be turned off?”

When The Dollhouse Becomes The Madhouse

, , , , | Right | December 23, 2018

(My husband and I are at a well-known toy store, and they are running a coupon where you get ten dollars off if you spend a hundred dollars. We’re in line with our small amount of purchases — we don’t need the coupon ourselves — and we happen to get behind a guy who is clutching a smaller, plastic dollhouse in a death grip. He puts the dollhouse on the counter and beams proudly.)

Customer: “You know, I’m so glad I finally found this dollhouse! I’ve been to seven different toy stores, and I drove over an hour because you guys said you had it when I called.”

Employee: “Well, happy to help, sir.”

Customer: “My daughter’s birthday is the same day as Christmas, and she’s turning five. This is the only thing my wife wanted me to buy and I forgot to get it. I’m so glad you had it!”

Employee: “That’s what we’re here for, sir. Your total comes to $26.95.”

Customer: “Here’s a coupon for ten bucks off.” *hands over a coupon for ten off of a hundred*

Employee: “Sir, I cannot accept that coupon on this purchase. The total purchase has to be for a hundred dollars for the coupon to work.”

Customer: *no longer very thankful* “WHAT? IT DOESN’T SAY THAT! WHERE DOES IT SAY THAT? SHOW ME!”

(Even from behind him we can see the print on the coupon, which clearly says, “Ten dollars off a hundred-dollar purchase.” She points to the bold print, and he goes ballistic.)

Customer: “You’re just doing this to ruin my daughter’s birthday! You could take that coupon, but you want to see my daughter suffer! My wife will kill me if I don’t come home with this dollhouse! You’ll give me this coupon right now!

Employee: “Sir, I am not going to give you this coupon on a twenty-five-dollar purchase. A manager will not give you this coupon on a twenty-five-dollar purchase. You can of course ask, but it won’t happen.”

Customer: *now looking at my husband* “You see how they do us? This b**** does this stuff for kicks! She wants to ruin my daughter’s birthday! She wants to ruin my daughter’s Christmas! She wants to piss my wife off! Hey, man, back me up. She should give me the discount, right?”

My Husband: “No, she should have you kicked out. And if I were in your shoes, I’d either buy the d*** toy, the toy you forgot, the only toy you were supposed to get, and pay full price, or go back and pick out seventy-five more dollars’ worth of stuff so I could get my coupon. I wouldn’t yell at a young woman for something she can’t change, and I wouldn’t take my frustrations of my own stupidity out on her, either. Now, just buy the toy so we can ring up, and let this girl go home sometime tonight.”

(The guy looked at my husband as if he was ready to fight, but as my husband was easily a good eight inches taller than him and a lot bigger than him, he instead threw the dollhouse on the ground and marched out of the store screaming, “I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY! YOU’VE RUINED MY DAUGHTER’S BIRTHDAY! YOU’VE RUINED CHRISTMAS! MY WIFE IS GOING TO KILL ME!” The cashier, who had looked a little worried up until this point, thanked my husband profusely for backing her up. The guy lost his mind all because he couldn’t buy an already cheap dollhouse for ten dollars less. I’m pretty sure the loss of the dollhouse isn’t the thing that ruined his poor child’s Christmas.)

Taking Account Of The Counter

, , , , | Right | December 23, 2018

(I work at a Make-Your-Own-Stuffed-Animal chain store. It’s two days before Christmas and it’s extremely busy. I am cashing out this woman who has put a bunch of things from her hands onto the counter. I put her son’s stuffed animal in a large paper bag, because the animal is fairly large, and nudge it closer to her because the counter is pretty long and the bag is tall. I don’t realize me nudging the big bag knocks off something she had placed on the counter.)

Me: *handing Customer her change* “Thank you and have a great day!”

Customer: *nearly snatches my fingers off while grabbing her change* “Give me my stuff!”

Me: “Uh?”

(The customer begins to angrily pick up the bag I knocked over and inspect it. The object inside has broken.)

Customer: “You knocked this off the counter with your bag!”

Me: *getting anxious* “I’m sorry, ma’am; I didn’t see it on the counter.”

Customer: “This was the last one, so now I’m out money on this!”

Me: *apologizes as she storms out angrily*

Manager: *ringing next to me* “Don’t worry about it.”

(The customer comes back in not even five minutes later and demands my manager’s attention to get compensation for the broken item, claiming I knocked it over forcefully and on purpose. The manager gives the customer a gift card to the store, and then tells me what happened.)

Manager: “I told her we couldn’t do anything about it, since we don’t sell the item, and you wouldn’t do anything like that maliciously. She acted like she wanted me to go to the back and get money from my own wallet to pay for the item broken that she put on our counter! I gave her a gift card for the value of the item.”

(It was a $10 picture frame.)