I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 38

I am shopping at a local large retail store. I don’t think I am dressed as an employee, as they all wear blue vests, and I’m not wearing one. I hear loud coughing behind me and ignore it. Then, I get the feeling that I’m being watched. A woman comes into my peripheral vision and coughs loudly again. Seconds later, she full-on glares at me. 

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Finally! Yes, you can help me find the pregnancy tests?!”

Me: “I don’t work here, but I assume they’re with the condoms.”

Customer: “Don’t you dare sass me! I am a customer!”

Me: “Lady, I am a customer, too! I don’t work here!”

She storms off, only to come back with a tired-looking employee. 

Employee: “I need your name and employee number.”

Me: “I don’t work here!”

Customer: “Liar! I saw her put that doll back!”

Me: “I am shopping for a present for my niece!”

Employee: “Oh, do you not work here today?”

Me: “I don’t work here at all!“

A supervisor is called over, and I explain the situation to her. She looks confused, then amused, and she turns to the employee and customer.

Supervisor: “[Employee], this woman does not work here. And you don’t have the authority to punish anyone. You’re still in your probation period. And [Customer], don’t harass other customers. This is the second time you’ve been warned about your behavior. Next time, it will be a temporary ban. I’m so sorry, miss. [Employee], come with me.”

The woman gave me a look that would freeze over Hell and stormed away. The employee simply looked embarrassed as he followed the supervisor away.

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 37
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 36
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 35
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 34
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 33