Santa Wouldn’t Let The Slippers Slip

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Right | December 18, 2015

(It’s about two weeks before Christmas, and I’m finishing up some shopping. I overhear this conversation between a mother and her very young (about two-and-a-half years old) daughter.)

Daughter: *sees a pair of fuzzy pink slippers with a popular princess on them* “Mommy! Mommy! These shoes! We have to buy these shoes!”

Mother: *clearly knowing what’s coming* “No, sweetie, not today.”

Daughter: “Mommy! We have to buy these shoes!”

Mother: *very patiently* “No, we’re not shopping for us today. Put them back.”

Daughter: “Then… I’ll buy them!” *takes a step towards the cash register*

Mother: *still patient* “Sweetie, you don’t have any money. Time to put them back.”

Daughter: “Oh… okay. You buy them, then!”

(They go around like this a few times, and the little girl is getting close to throwing a tantrum in the crowded store. The mother is sounding a little less patient.)

Mother: “Sweetie, we can’t buy them today because Christmas is coming! Santa might be bringing them for Christmas.”

Daughter: *not quite buying it* “Really?”

Mother: “Yes! Santa told me so. We can’t buy them now. We have to wait for Christmas.”

Daughter: “Oh! Okay! Here!”

(She gave her mom the slippers and skipped off to look at something else. I’m pretty sure “Santa” had already bought the slippers!)

You Gotta Be Barking Mad

| CA, USA | Right | October 19, 2015

Me: “Can I help you find anything?”

Customer: “I want this stuffed duck, but do you have one that hasn’t been manhandled?”

Me: “I think we have another upstairs. Let me check for you.”

(It’s fairly busy in the store but I know exactly where another one is, so I run up to get it. A coworker of mine moved the box of stuffed animals onto a hard to reach shelf. When I reach for it I fall into another box of stuffed animals and have to work my way out. I get the toy and run downstairs looking a little disheveled.)

Me: “Here you go. Would you like that wrapped?”

Customer: “Oh, no need. It’s for my dog.”

Can’t Follow Her Train Of Thought

| USA | Right | August 31, 2015

Me: “Can I help you find something?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for a board game about trains, and there’s tickets…”

Me: “Oh, Ticket To Ride?”

Customer: “No. In the game, you collect these tickets for different routes, and you used these colored trains to connect the routes…”

Me: “That’s Ticket To Ride. It’s actually one of my favorites—”

Customer: “It’s NOT Ticket To Ride. But in the game, the different tickets are worth a certain amount of points, and the further the routes are from one another, the more points the ticket is worth…”

Me: “Hold on.”

(I grab a copy of ‘Ticket To Ride’ off the shelf and show it to her, with the name of the game facing me. An image of the game’s board is printed on the back.)

Me: “Is this the game you’re looking for?”

Customer: “Yes!” *grabs the game*

Me: “This is Ticket To Ride. ”

Customer: “Oh, then this isn’t it.” *drops it back onto the counter*

Check-Mate On The Living Arrangements

| Vancouver Island, BC, Canada | Friendly | August 6, 2015

(This takes place when I am 16. A friend and I are downtown for the Christmas Light-Up to take advantage of the sales. At the toy store, she ends up teaching me how to play chess on a display set, so we decide to go halfers on one. This conversation takes place as we are standing in line. Note: I live quite close to school, but she lives a ways out of town, so we often spend time at my place but very rarely go to hers. I am also a bit of a slob.)

Friend: “We’re going to have to keep this in my room, you know.”

Me: “No way!”

Friend: “But if you keep it in your room, we’ll never be able to find it!”

Me: “I can find stuff in there! If we keep it in your room, we’ll never be able to play it!”

Cashier: “Why don’t you just keep it in the living room?”

Me: *laughing* “Because we don’t live together!”

Cashier: “Oh!” *also laughing* “That’s a good reason!”

It’s Sex-Education Barbie!

| NC, USA | Related | July 13, 2015

(I don’t remember quite how old I was when this happened; it was definitely when my age was in single digits. My dad and I are at the big-box toy store looking for a birthday present for a friend, and we are looking at the Barbie dolls. I’m a girl, but our family has never been very prudish so I have a general idea of the differences between boys and girls.)

Me: “Why is it that the Barbies have boobies, but Kens don’t have their boy parts?”

Dad: *thinking quickly* “Because it would be too small. It would break off too easy.”

Me: “Oh, okay… but what about Barbie’s fingers? They’re small too but they don’t break very easy.”

Dad: *picking me up* “Let’s go look at the other toys!”

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